Coworker Question

[maryjk]

I’m sorry you felt put on the spot. My Parish also has visitors stand at one of our Masses, and Father says something along the lines of how we love to have visitors and would love having new members all the more. It is truly not meant to offend or make anyone uncomfortable. Now that the OP has responded, and it seems she doesn’t want to go then of course she should politely decline and spend her Sunday at Mass and with her family but there is no rule that we cannot attend other services and I wouldn’t generally call it “unwise”

Our pastor also asks visitors or new people to stand. We applaud.

The point is they stand so we recognize them after Mass.

When we attended the “Concert and Dinner” they had us stand. There was then a 5 to 10 minute meet and greet where people came from all over to greet us. I shook more hands that night then I had in the past combined 10 years. It was quite the love fest.

It was very different from what our pastor does.

 

[robwar]

Our pastor also asks visitors or new people to stand. We applaud.

The point is they stand so we recognize them after Mass.

When we attended the “Concert and Dinner” they had us stand. There was then a 5 to 10 minute meet and greet where people came from all over to greet us. I shook more hands that night then I had in the past combined 10 years. It was quite the love fest.

It was very different from what our pastor does.

I think that the other poster Miss Felicity misunderstand what I was saying and yes, I’ve seen Catholic churches ask or recognize visitors which is a way to make others feel welcome. Making other feel welcome is a far cry from a Baptist pastor in our situation asking us to visit (and we foolishly did) and then at the service, look directly at us and then announce that there are those here being called by God to join the church. It is one thing to recognize and welcome visitors, it is another to target them directly in a service for “conversion”. It was a long time ago and we never returned. It is one thing to possible go with non-Catholic family but it is another when you are Catholic to repeatedly attend non-Catholic services.

 

[esieffe]

I went to two Baptist services with a girlfriend and her family when I was in high school. I never even asked my parents, I just went. I just told my Dad we were going out to eat, [which we did afterwards.] Both times were a horror. Further, it poisoned the well of Christianity for me for quite some time.

I once went to a "non denominational “Christian” church and it was even worse. They had an American flag in the “sanctuary” and just preached about hell and sinners. They also said that Crosses were idols and were worshipped, half of them started looking at me, as this was a small congregation. I reflexively looked in the pews for an airsick bag. She had a car I wanted to look at buying, and that was my “payment” for being able to look.

I know this is strong, but I feel strong about it due to my experience, but I wouldn’t do this again any more than I would go buy and use a deck of Tarot cards. I have gotten invitations since as an adult from some very dear friends who live next door and are wonderful Christians. Even to them I have said that I have committed activities that require my presences at my church, and thank them for the invitation. Not once have I added, “maybe another time.”

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

This is the way I look at it.

I would not do it simply because he is a coworker (and a fairly new one, it sounds like) who wishes to befriend you. That relationship could lead to feelings of obligation to attend more than once or a deeper friendship than it turns out you want (sometimes a friendly coworker can become your buddy at work when you really don’t want that). There may or may not be some faith based issues that are talked about at work between the two of you that cause friction. Also, I think you have some good insticts about attending a service without your husband, since this seems to be a budding friendship. Not that the man has alterior motives, but it is a situation best not to get into.

My advice if you want to be friendly with your coworker would be to keep it low key and take it slow, simply because you are at work to do your job and, while it is fine and good to keep a friendly attitude at work, you are just getting to know your coworkers and your job so making friends with one outside of the workplace complicates things. That is especially true if the person is a preacher.

In the past I was invited by a couple of different coworkers to attend their church. I never did, mostly because I just did not want to or see the point. I was friends with one of the ladies and the other used to give me rides home from time to time. I felt funny about being asked to come and see what their churches were like. I guess I felt fairly open to one, but the other, being Pentecostal, I knew would not suit me. I turned them down politely, though. They did keep asking and I would assume your coworker may. I finally just said that I was really happy with “my church” and one of them told me, “Well, you know you have to go where you get fed.” Meaning where my spirit gets fed. I assumed she meant her church, but since she was such a sweet person I decided to overlook that and think of it as I was doing what she suggested by sticking with the Catholic Church.

I think people mean well when they make these offers to coworkers to attend their church, but to take up a coworker on such any offer is crossing a boundry that likely should not be crossed unless you have worked with them for years and are truly friends (including families are friendly).

 

[acadiANNA]

Our Pastor makes general announcements before the procession for Mass. At that time he will say we welcome all visitors who are with us here today.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Our Pastor makes general announcements before the procession for Mass. At that time he will say we welcome all visitors who are with us here today.

I have been to parishes that do that. Smaller ones even will look towards the “new” faces. As a visitor it makes me more uncomfortable. And it seems oddly out of place for a Mass.

But I am sure some people find it “welcoming” And I am sure that is the motivation behind it. But I am not sure that it comes across that way.

For me, I would rather worship my Lord as one of his faithful, not as a “guest” in a house of “regulars”

 

[pamnbam]

I went to two Baptist services with a girlfriend and her family when I was in high school. I never even asked my parents, I just went. I just told my Dad we were going out to eat, [which we did afterwards.] Both times were a horror. Further, it poisoned the well of Christianity for me for quite some time.

Whoa! I’m tempted to ask what exactly you mean by “poisoned the well…” Doesn’t sound good at all. Thanks for sharing your experiences. It helps to hear how others have dealt with similar situations.

 

[pamnbam]

This is the way I look at it.

I would not do it simply because he is a coworker (and a fairly new one, it sounds like) who wishes to befriend you. That relationship could lead to feelings of obligation to attend more than once or a deeper friendship than it turns out you want (sometimes a friendly coworker can become your buddy at work when you really don’t want that). There may or may not be some faith based issues that are talked about at work between the two of you that cause friction. Also, I think you have some good insticts about attending a service without your husband, since this seems to be a budding friendship. Not that the man has alterior motives, but it is a situation best not to get into.

My advice if you want to be friendly with your coworker would be to keep it low key and take it slow, simply because you are at work to do your job and, while it is fine and good to keep a friendly attitude at work, you are just getting to know your coworkers and your job so making friends with one outside of the workplace complicates things. That is especially true if the person is a preacher.

In the past I was invited by a couple of different coworkers to attend their church. I never did, mostly because I just did not want to or see the point. I was friends with one of the ladies and the other used to give me rides home from time to time. I felt funny about being asked to come and see what their churches were like. I guess I felt fairly open to one, but the other, being Pentecostal, I knew would not suit me. I turned them down politely, though. They did keep asking and I would assume your coworker may. I finally just said that I was really happy with “my church” and one of them told me, “Well, you know you have to go where you get fed.” Meaning where my spirit gets fed. I assumed she meant her church, but since she was such a sweet person I decided to overlook that and think of it as I was doing what she suggested by sticking with the Catholic Church.

I think people mean well when they make these offers to coworkers to attend their church, but to take up a coworker on such any offer is crossing a boundry that likely should not be crossed unless you have worked with them for years and are truly friends (including families are friendly).

You give excellent advice! Definitely lots to consider in a situation like this…