Coworker spreading lies about me. How to face it with courage?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Believe_85
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
As Blessed Titus Brandsma said about praying for the prison camp Nazis, “you don’t have to pray for him all day - one prayer is enough” 🙂
 
Believe_85 said:
A co-worker has lied about me and I have to go to a meeting to face the accusations. While I know and can largely prove that none of his accusations are true, how can I be courageous and not defensive? This whole thing is ruining my weekend and affecting my ability to relax with my family. Any advice?
Click to expand...
Pray for them. Ask Jesus for mercy. For her. For yourself. Because, when we’re under persecution or any perception that is unjust, we are tempted to hate that person. And even tempted to say things about them to other people to tarnish their reputation. Or make then reviled.

Always state the truth, but not being defensive. When Jesus was brought before Pontius Piltate, by His accusers, He didn’t refuse them the truth. He said to Pontius Plate, who asked him if He were the king of the Jews. Jesus replied, “you say so.”

Always speak the truth. Never be defensive. Pray for the person. And ask Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament for help and assistance through it.
 
And if you don’t remember exactly what happened or what you said, say , “Honestly, I don’t remember.”
 
If you concentrate on more than proving that the accusations are false, if you try to retaliate and put this gossiper on the spot the management will most likely find you defensive. Been there. Silence your emotions and prove none of it is true and let them conclude that the accuser is mean don’t lead to that conclusion. Management will appreciate you the cooler with the whole situation you are. Indiference is being labeled as “management material” while emotion is labeled “creative but can’t handle pressure”. If you have a creative job go ahead and slay the enemy but if you have more of a bureaucratic, management type of job, the less personal you take it the more it will do you good in your career.
 
Yes, bring a note pad and write down things as the other person is speaking. The note pad should also contain the info that contradicts the lie.

I would ask if the person had an problem they should have come to you directly, and ask them why they didn’t do that. This should be your first question.

Then read off your notes or what actually transpired

At the end of the meeting you can say you hope in the future they come directly to you with concerns so you can work as a team, instead of you hearing secondhand.

It’s difficult I know.But by shining a spotlight on the agressive behavior shifts the focus of the meeting.

Praying for you.
 
Thanks for the prayers! I told the truth in my meeting and bravely faced my accuser with a tiny divine mercy figure in my pocket. I didn’t get yelled at, the problem is resolved, and I come out the victor. I really felt like I was sitting through a miracle. You all have strong prayers! Thanks again.
 
I knew you would prevail, soldier! Keep up the good work! Hoorah!
 
I’ve been in a work environment with TWO guys like that - for years.
Being ’ a man ’ doesn’t / wont help. It’s could be a temporary cease fire -
Keep a journal though - document things…
and of course, The Old Colonel - he’s good !
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top