E
edwest2
Guest
A little satirical story to illustrate a point:
I went to my local Religion Store to pick up a few things.
“Excuse me, Miss. Do you have any Catholicism?”
“Sure,” she said, while handing me a box. A box filled with words in large type: “New! Improved Catholicism! Now with More Science!”
“Excuse me, Miss,” I said. “Can I get the box over there?”
“You mean the one all the way back there?”
“Yes.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
She switched on her microphone and said, “Fundie alert on Aisle 3.”
Immediately, I was surrounded by two large security guards. “Sir, do you really intend to buy that?”
“Yes. Yes, I do. Is there a problem?”
“Well, technically, you are allowed to buy the 1950s version of Catholicism, but we can’t be too careful.”
“Careful about what?”
“Well, I’m going to ask you some questions and I’m warning you, if you answer no to any of them, you’re facing lifelong ridicule.”
“OK. Go ahead.”
“Do you believe in the Big Bang, Theory of Evolution, birds used to be dinosaurs, global warming and the end of peak oil?”
“No,” I said, wondering what would happen next.
I paid for my box and asked one of the security guards a question. “Are you a Christian?”
“Yes sir, I am.”
“Do you believe an actual, physical Jesus Christ lived and died so that sins would be forgiven?”
“Yes, but technically, that’s a theological question.”
“OK. So when you pray at night, who are praying to?”
“To God, of course.”
“Is He real then? The living, as in actually living, God?”
“Sure, but technically, that’s a theological question.”
“Right. So when you die and face Him at the judgement day, will you be talking with a real person or a theological concept?”
“Huh. I guess I’ll be talking to a real person.”
God bless,
Ed
I went to my local Religion Store to pick up a few things.
“Excuse me, Miss. Do you have any Catholicism?”
“Sure,” she said, while handing me a box. A box filled with words in large type: “New! Improved Catholicism! Now with More Science!”
“Excuse me, Miss,” I said. “Can I get the box over there?”
“You mean the one all the way back there?”
“Yes.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
She switched on her microphone and said, “Fundie alert on Aisle 3.”
Immediately, I was surrounded by two large security guards. “Sir, do you really intend to buy that?”
“Yes. Yes, I do. Is there a problem?”
“Well, technically, you are allowed to buy the 1950s version of Catholicism, but we can’t be too careful.”
“Careful about what?”
“Well, I’m going to ask you some questions and I’m warning you, if you answer no to any of them, you’re facing lifelong ridicule.”
“OK. Go ahead.”
“Do you believe in the Big Bang, Theory of Evolution, birds used to be dinosaurs, global warming and the end of peak oil?”
“No,” I said, wondering what would happen next.
I paid for my box and asked one of the security guards a question. “Are you a Christian?”
“Yes sir, I am.”
“Do you believe an actual, physical Jesus Christ lived and died so that sins would be forgiven?”
“Yes, but technically, that’s a theological question.”
“OK. So when you pray at night, who are praying to?”
“To God, of course.”
“Is He real then? The living, as in actually living, God?”
“Sure, but technically, that’s a theological question.”
“Right. So when you die and face Him at the judgement day, will you be talking with a real person or a theological concept?”
“Huh. I guess I’ll be talking to a real person.”
God bless,
Ed