Cremation

[MSUBobcat93]

What are the churches mass rules on cremation? Can a funeral mass be held with the ashes present or should the cremation take place after the funeral mass?

I myself do not care for cremation but it seems to be a more common practice, most likely due to the high costs of funerals.

 

[DCNBILL]

Please see the following links.

usccb.org/liturgy/current/cremation.shtml

usccb.org/liturgy/q&a/general/crem.shtml

 

[Joe_Kelley]

Cremation is now permitted. It is preferred that the body be present for the funeral mass and then cremated. However, this wipes out most of the cost saving. It is now permitted to have the cremains present if cremation before the funeral is desired.

Order of preference:

1. Funeral mass with body present and burial in grave or mausoleum.
2. Funeral mass with body present, cremation, and cremains buried or in mausoleum or whatever the equivalent is for cremains.
3. Cremation, funeral mass with cremains present, and cremains buried or in mausoleum.

 

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[TheRealJuliane]

I have been thinking and wondering about funerals, since there was a thread on another forum where a poster did not want to attend his grandmother’s funeral and view her body in the coffin.

I have a few questions.

1. My husband’s grandmother was a very devout Catholic. Her daughter, my husband’s mother, was Catholic but not at all devout, went to church only for external appearances. When grandmother died, she was cremated and her ashes were scattered at the crematorium. They have a plot where her husband was buried, but I guess they did not want the expense of interring her ashes?

This very devout Catholic, who witnessed my son’s baptism in her church (first grandchild), was treated so horribly after death. Has this affected her stay in purgatory, do you think? It probably wasn’t her wish for her ashes to be scattered in that way, but it’s done now. I guess I really need to pray for her more, if the actions of her daughter have extended her stay in purgatory or caused her soul any other distress.

1. What do Catholics do, when they live in one area but have no real ties to that place? I was brought up in Colorado but now reside in south Texas, due to my husband’s profession. My whole life before we married was spent in Denver, and my mother is buried there. My father would have been buried there, but he remarried and left the area, so his burial plot is unused. I have no idea where my sons will settle when they are grown and married, but at least if I were buried out in Denver next to my mother, they’d have a place to go and “visit” me, which is very important to me. That is why I feel so sad for my husband, because it’s so important to have a physical location to focus on.

I know that the Church does allow cremation, but as a rather traditional person, I would prefer not to be cremated, but there is always the problem of transportation of a body to a location far away for burial. It seems there are 2 possibilities: 1) Be buried somewhere near where I currently live, whole and intact, or 2) be cremated and buried next to my mother.

I really envy my ancestors, who were born, lived their whole lives in one location, and were buried near or even on their own land. The very transitory life we live these days opens up all sorts of problems like this.

1. I know that the funeral Mass is not something we can change, and I am glad for that, but at the viewing/rosary, could I have a few unusual elements like a release of butterflies afterward? And some “energetic” music such as the Newsboys? Or should I plan for my loved ones to have a reception at home and incorporate these elements? I want to do things correctly and not abuse the rituals but I am sort of a whimsical person by nature and I want my loved ones to remember the day with some laughter and happiness.

I am not hesitant to discuss death and grieving rituals in detail - I believe that these are aspects of life that are just as important as births - after all, we are being born into the longest part of our lives - eternity!



Thanks for any answers and comments you can offer!

 

[Phemie]

While prayer may shorten someone’s stay in Purgatory, I sincerely doubt that someone opting to disrespect the body of the deceased would have any effect on his/her time in Purgatory.

As for what people do when they live ‘away’? I’m familiar with two options.

1. A funeral is held in the parish where the person lived and then the cremated remains are taken to the parish where the person wished to be buried. There, either a memorial Mass or a simple graveside committal service are celebrated, with subsequent burial or entombment in a mausoleum or columbarium. Burial can be in a new plot or, where it’s permitted, in a deceased loved one’s grave: I’ve seen a son’s ashes buried with in his mother’s grave and a mother’s ashes buried in the grave of her son.
2. The cremated remains are immediately sent to the parish where the person wished to be buried and the funeral is held there with subsequent burial or entombment in a mausoleum or columbarium. This is often chosen if the person lives in one parish and wishes to be buried there but dies somewhere else. That’s not infrequent in our parish, since parishioners are often medevaced to a larger center for treatment. If they die there the family often opts for cremation there before the body is brought back.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

I just encountered this Jewish view on cremation today. The rabbi’s teaching seems very close to the Catholic belief:
Cremation: A Burning Issue

**…**Jews bereft of Jewish knowledge can hardly be faulted for not appreciating the concept of “kavod hameis,” the mandate to show “honor for the deceased,” a concept that underlies the Torah’s opposition to cremation, the very opposite of honor. They do not understand that the fact that human beings are created “in the image of God” entails, among much else, that human bodies whose souls have departed be consigned to the earth in as undisturbed a state as possible. Many contemporary Jews, sadly, cannot even be expected to be familiar with the Jewish belief in the resurrection of the dead—even though it is one of Judaism’s most basic teachings, subtly evident in the Written Torah’s text and prominent in its Oral Tradition…

From other writings I know that they consider the cremation of the bodies at the death camps as one of the major horrors of the holocaust.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

I am not hesitant to discuss death and grieving rituals in detail - I believe that these are aspects of life that are just as important as births - after all, we are being born into the longest part of our lives - eternity!



Thanks for any answers and comments you can offer!

This is an awesome attitude!!

I am only in my 40’s, but have my funeral arrangements all set,
and we talk about it often. It doesn’t hurt that the hubby & I are fond of hiking through old cemetaries- they are so rich in history!

Death is something I have never been afraid of, it just seems so contrary to our faith. I heard someone, a doctor, once quip,

“America is the most God-fearing country in the world. And we are all so afraid of Him, no one whats to see Him any time soon!”

Anyhoo, regarding your question about the funeral home services- that is where basically you have free-reign to do what you want. In my area, a priest or deacon will usually come at some point and lead everyone in some prayers and maybe the rosary, but then the family is free to do as they please. Many funeral homes have multi-media capabilities and you can make movies with pictures & music that run on a continuous loop throughout the calling hours.

 

[Irishgal49]

I actually talked to my priest about this as I’m recently going through a divorce (we weren’t married in the Catholic Church) and wanted to talk to my children about what I wanted. I recently came back to the Church so they needed to know my wishes as my soon-to-be-ex is Jewish and I’m sure he would have buried me that way.

Cremation is fine but the ashes aren’t supposed to be scattered. I highly doubt God will punish someone in the afterlife for the actions of those who were left behind. It’s actually quite cheap to bury a cremated person, usually you can put them in the same grave with someone else and then just set up a 2nd headstone under the first. We did this with my son. His dad was buried with him for a couple hundred dollars! You can even order an urn online for 100-200 dollars.

My priest said there is room in the liturgy for “custom design” like in my case where I told them NO ORGAN music, and there’s a man in our church who plays guitar, just a soft acoustical guitar is what I would want. Organ music reminds me of roller skating.

The “secular song” I want was deemed very appropriate but is done outside of the Mass either before it starts or after it’s over. You can ask your parish priest about that but I was told that there was flexibility to a point so it’s not impossible. Obviously the Mass has to be intact and I wouldn’t want secular music in that but otherwise you can have a song or two that’s special before mass begins or after mass is over. Also if family doesn’t mind bringing a boom box, you can have a song or two graveside. I have a country song that speaks to me I want played graveside once the service is over. It’s happy upbeat and a great way to send everyone home. Since my burial is far away, most likely my boys will be alone with a priest and after the priest is finished, they can play that song, laugh about their mother’s “taste” in music and hopefully leave with a smile and a few happy memories.

The reason I asked my priest is because my son is buried in a non-Catholic cemetery and his grave is over 2 hours south of my location. I am a convert and he died before I became Catholic. To save thousands in transportation costs I am being cremated, having a funeral at my parish and then my sons can drive me to the grave and I can be buried beside my son. My son did this with his dad and said that the time he had his ashes in the car was special, he talked to him, played special music for him and was able, with his brother, to set his urn into its grave. It took me a awhile to come to terms with a funeral but I think I have written down what I want in such a way it will be honored by my sons since neither of them believe in God.

The most important thing is to talk about your wishes NOW so that people are clear what you want and maybe type them up. Save them in a file on your computer and let people know so they can access it when the time comes.

God Bless!

Lorrie

 

[Seatuck]

holyroodcemetery.org/teachingcremation.pdf

americancatholic.org/news/report.aspx?id=3346

cuf.org/faithfacts/details_view.asp?ffID=262

 

[puzzleannie]

Cremation is now permitted. It is preferred that the body be present for the funeral mass and then cremated. However, this wipes out most of the cost saving. It is now permitted to have the cremains present if cremation before the funeral is desired.

Order of preference:

1. Funeral mass with body present and burial in grave or mausoleum.
2. Funeral mass with body present, cremation, and cremains buried or in mausoleum [or whatever the equivalent is for cremains.
3. Cremation, funeral mass with cremains present, and cremains buried or in mausoleum.

according to funeral directors here there is no cost savings involved in transporting the casket to the church, vs transporting the cremains, so that should not be an issue, especially if there will still be a procession to the place the ashes will be interred, vault or mausoleum or buried as the Church requires.

The real savings would be in cremation, attended or preceeded by a funeral service at the place of cremation (not Mass of Christian Burial) with interment of the remains privately, followed by a memorial Mass. We deal with this all the time with funerals for poor parishioners. We charge nothing for Mass, funeral service, attendance of deacon or priest, use of church etc. but the county allows only so much and that does not cover transport of the body or cremains other than to the place of interment.
[/quote]

 

[puzzleannie]

I
This very devout Catholic, who witnessed my son’s baptism in her church (first grandchild), was treated so horribly after death. Has this affected her stay in purgatory, do you think?

absolutely not. You can still pray for her, and you can still even now have Mass offered for the repose of her soul. That could also have been done at the time. So she need not lack for anything her loved ones can do for her in that way.

1. What do Catholics do, when they live in one area but have no real ties to that place? I was brought up in Colorado but now reside in south Texas, due to my husband’s profession. My whole life before we married was spent in Denver, and my mother is buried there

. !I can tell you what most people do here, such as winter Texans or those of us who have relocated permanently.
a Mass of Christian burial is celebrated here with the body present in the casket, which is then transported to whatever burial place they have chosen, here or up north. A memorial Mass is celebrated in the “home” city for benefit of friends and family.

The Mass of Christian burial is celebrated here with the body present, the body is cremated, and the ashes transported to the place the family plans to inter them, here or up north. A memorial Mass is celebrated in the “home” city for benefit of friends and family.

The body is cremated and the ashes interred here in a suitable place, a memorial Mass is celebrated here, and another one up north for those friends and family to gather.

as far as cost issues you need to speak to the funeral director,

 

[Joe_Kelley]

according to funeral directors here there is no cost savings involved in transporting the casket to the church, vs transporting the cremains, so that should not be an issue, especially if there will still be a procession to the place the ashes will be interred, vault or mausoleum or buried as the Church requires.

The real savings would be in cremation, attended or preceeded by a funeral service at the place of cremation (not Mass of Christian Burial) with interment of the remains privately, followed by a memorial Mass. We deal with this all the time with funerals for poor parishioners. We charge nothing for Mass, funeral service, attendance of deacon or priest, use of church etc. but the county allows only so much and that does not cover transport of the body or cremains other than to the place of interment.

Here there is a significant saving if the body is immediately cremated with no preparation, embalming or casket.

 

[Irishgal49]

Here there is a significant saving if the body is immediately cremated with no preparation, embalming or casket.

Here you can have family pick up the cremains and transport it to the church themselves, saving hundreds of dollars. I can be cremated, my sons can pick up the ashes and take it to the church.