C
crenfro
Guest
Hello.
Last time I spoke to my mother when I visited my parents a few years ago she got angry at me because I wanted to dry a sweater in the dryer and told me to get out of her house, so I did so. As I waited to go to the bus station, she told me she was disinheriting me.
So, since those several years I’ve distanced myself from my parents. My husband and I bought a house, I got a job so I’d be more responsible - even at my age - now 56 - I am very slow to become mature. We live about 1000 miles away from my parents, but I used to keep in weekly phone contact. However, after telling me to get out of her house, most contact ceased.
A week ago, my mother collapsed, was in ICU, and will probably never be able to do anything without some kind of nursing help in the home again. My dad, who is going to be 96, has severe memory problems.
I have 2 sisters. One lives with my dad and has emotional problems. My mom has been taking care of them, more or less successfully, until her accident. The other lives in the Midwest.
Suddenly, this other sister, in the Midwest, who has never called, never visits, never has time for my calls or the rest of the family’s calls or requests, who hasn’t for at least 25 years, jumps on a plane and tells me she is in charge of things. She ordered me to get on a plane because of “Our Mother’s Condition.” She’s never cared about my mom, and though I know people can change, her actions aren’t bearing that out. She has seriously betrayed my trust in the past, never showed any interest in anyone but herself.
I’m here at home with bronchitis, I had to work sick for 24 hours - 2 twelve hour shifts this weekend, and I’m just so tired and every time I turn around I’m coughing uncontrollably. They tried to find a replacement for me at work but there was no one available. I was so tired from working all Saturday night that I didn’t even get to Mass.
Anyway, my sister from the Midwest calls me out of the blue, screaming at me, full of sarcasm. That’s the first I heard from her. I ignored her calls until after speaking with my therapist, then when I did call her back, she began to tell me how things were now going to be and what she wanted me to do. When I asked her who was deciding all these things, she said she was, because she WAS IN CHARGE. I hung up on her.
I did have a long talk with my dad, who though has a lot of memory loss is alert and “with it,” and I told him under no circumstances to let this sister have Power of Attorney. I know this sister of mine will simply take advantage of this and leave my dad and mom and other sister with NOTHING.
But ultimately, there’s not a lot I can do now, can’t even keep from coughing for about every 10 minutes or so.
I’m just so angry.
I’m also in the middle of getting all the requirements in for a degree I want to pursue.
My therapist told me that I’d be looked upon as the “bad” child because I’m staying here for now, trying to get well and avoiding being around my bossy sister. I’d found that my mom was stable a day after I found out she was so sick, so I didn’t worry about it so much.
I feel very hurt and alone, and without a family. Even the day all this happened my husband betrayed my trust over a serious issue we had already agreed upon.
Very tired of life.
And my pastor, I called him but he never called back. Maybe I’m a black sheep but I am one of his flock.
Anything supportive and kind would be appreciated.
Last time I spoke to my mother when I visited my parents a few years ago she got angry at me because I wanted to dry a sweater in the dryer and told me to get out of her house, so I did so. As I waited to go to the bus station, she told me she was disinheriting me.
So, since those several years I’ve distanced myself from my parents. My husband and I bought a house, I got a job so I’d be more responsible - even at my age - now 56 - I am very slow to become mature. We live about 1000 miles away from my parents, but I used to keep in weekly phone contact. However, after telling me to get out of her house, most contact ceased.
A week ago, my mother collapsed, was in ICU, and will probably never be able to do anything without some kind of nursing help in the home again. My dad, who is going to be 96, has severe memory problems.
I have 2 sisters. One lives with my dad and has emotional problems. My mom has been taking care of them, more or less successfully, until her accident. The other lives in the Midwest.
Suddenly, this other sister, in the Midwest, who has never called, never visits, never has time for my calls or the rest of the family’s calls or requests, who hasn’t for at least 25 years, jumps on a plane and tells me she is in charge of things. She ordered me to get on a plane because of “Our Mother’s Condition.” She’s never cared about my mom, and though I know people can change, her actions aren’t bearing that out. She has seriously betrayed my trust in the past, never showed any interest in anyone but herself.
I’m here at home with bronchitis, I had to work sick for 24 hours - 2 twelve hour shifts this weekend, and I’m just so tired and every time I turn around I’m coughing uncontrollably. They tried to find a replacement for me at work but there was no one available. I was so tired from working all Saturday night that I didn’t even get to Mass.
Anyway, my sister from the Midwest calls me out of the blue, screaming at me, full of sarcasm. That’s the first I heard from her. I ignored her calls until after speaking with my therapist, then when I did call her back, she began to tell me how things were now going to be and what she wanted me to do. When I asked her who was deciding all these things, she said she was, because she WAS IN CHARGE. I hung up on her.
I did have a long talk with my dad, who though has a lot of memory loss is alert and “with it,” and I told him under no circumstances to let this sister have Power of Attorney. I know this sister of mine will simply take advantage of this and leave my dad and mom and other sister with NOTHING.
But ultimately, there’s not a lot I can do now, can’t even keep from coughing for about every 10 minutes or so.
I’m just so angry.
I’m also in the middle of getting all the requirements in for a degree I want to pursue.
My therapist told me that I’d be looked upon as the “bad” child because I’m staying here for now, trying to get well and avoiding being around my bossy sister. I’d found that my mom was stable a day after I found out she was so sick, so I didn’t worry about it so much.
I feel very hurt and alone, and without a family. Even the day all this happened my husband betrayed my trust over a serious issue we had already agreed upon.
Very tired of life.
And my pastor, I called him but he never called back. Maybe I’m a black sheep but I am one of his flock.
Anything supportive and kind would be appreciated.
