Critiquing someone's work

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desales09

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My dad, who is agnostic and a social-liberal (who cares about God’s commands if “it’s not hurting anyone”), is in the process of writing a book. I just read his prologue. It has problematic elements, such as a suicide where the injured and dying victim “felt a sense of peace come over him” as he waited to die by his own method - a fuse he’d lit leading within minutes to a nearby crate of dynamite. I don’t want to hurt his feelings or rouse his indignation at my critique of these elements (he’s easily offended at such), nor do I necessarily want to discourage him from writing, so…

What are some suggestions for what to say or do in these cases, in keeping with the faith and honoring my dad?
 
Did your father ask you to critique his writing? If so, then you need to keep in mind that you are not critiquing his morals or the morals of the characters in the book. You are critiquing the writing itself: the flow of the story, the believability of the characters, how well the plot grabs and holds your interest. You have to put aside your sense of right and wrong in order to determine if the character is true to his own sense of right and wrong, however different that may be to yours.
Just reading your very short description of the prologue, I would say the one criticism I would offer is that the suicide of a dying man via a homemade bomb is too far-fetched (unless, of course, the bomb plays an integral part in the grander story).
 
Perhaps you want to read it to look for grammar and spelling etc. and that is all.

I understand what you are saying, but if your dad is agnostic, and a social -liberal, I hardly think he is going to change his book for you. You might playfully suggest that his character must not be Catholic because… but I wouldn’t expect him to do anything to change his story line. And since we are called to be respectful to our parents, I would not get into an argument over it. If and when it is published, his editor will make the needed changes.
 
It is perfectly possible for a book - especially a novel - to contain morally ambiguous characters or situations and still overall be a morally positive story. Try reading some Flannary O’Conner!

As other have said, just give your father comments on flow, plot line, etc. Not his worldview. If he’s just written a few pages/chapters, you can always suggest you wait until more is written to comment.
 
desales09 said:
My dad, who is agnostic and a social-liberal (who cares about God’s commands if “it’s not hurting anyone”), is in the process of writing a book. I just read his prologue. It has problematic elements, such as a suicide where the injured and dying victim “felt a sense of peace come over him” as he waited to die by his own method - a fuse he’d lit leading within minutes to a nearby crate of dynamite. I don’t want to hurt his feelings or rouse his indignation at my critique of these elements (he’s easily offended at such), nor do I necessarily want to discourage him from writing, so…

What are some suggestions for what to say or do in these cases, in keeping with the faith and honoring my dad?
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How does an ordinary person get access to a crate of dynamite? :confused: Most suicide bombers use some kind of plastic explosive, you might at least tell your dad he needs to do some research on that sort of thing if he wants his book to be believable.

People who have attempted suicide and failed do say that they were at peace when they made the decision to kill themselves. In fact, it is a warning sign when someone who has been depressed suddenly becomes happy and starts giving away possessions, seeing old friends, etc. because it can mean that they have a plan to kill themselves. Once the decision has been made, there is a kind of relief that soon, their misery will be over. Of curse it’s misguided, but that’s what they say.

Let him write the book. Publishing is extremely competitive these days and there’s only a tiny chance it will ever be published.
 
Could be an opportunity for dialogue, unless he’s just looking for flattery. You need not cite religious convictions against suicide- Juliana noted that his character is not realistic even to secular psychology.

Be careful even an honest, secular critique could cause a rift if he is egotistical.
 
There’s nothing wrong with writing fiction that incorporates characters acting immorally or having immoral desires. If all fictional characters were perfect little Catholics who never sinned and never struggled it would be pretty boring to read, don’t you think?

I do agree that that sounds like an especially unlikely method of committing suicide.
 
How you discuss it with him depends on why he asked you to read it. I don’t know if I would worry about the m.o. being far fetched - plenty of fiction is about ideas and plots that are far fetched. If he asked your opinion, but is not looking for a rigorous critique (which I’m guessing is the case, since he is easily offended), I might say something like, “I really liked ____ and ____ about the prologue. It was hard for me to relate to the character though, because I am skeptical that a suicide victim would feel peace in such a situation.” I do NOT think that you are obligated to critique it from a moral standpoint, since it is fiction. If he repeatedly puts you in the position where he is asking for your approval, you might need to say, “you know, Dad, our belief systems are different, and that affects how I view some of the situations in your book. It is difficult for me to relate to ___ and ___ from my perspective. I’m sure you can understand how we would see things differently.”
 
What kind of book is it? If like others have suggested it is a novel, then I would just critique the writing not the morals

If it is a book about religion, then I would say something politely.

I may not agree with suicide either, but I doubt your dad’s intent is to encourage suicide, I think it is just to set the stage

CM
 
Haha, I’m laughing because, out of context, it does sound ridiculous how the character commits suicide…he’s a gold-miner out in the middle of nowhere who has suffered a severe injury, and he’s committing suicide while at the same time sealing the mine where his gold is stashed. He doesn’t want anyone to have it.

I think it’s true what’s been said - I don’t see it doing much good for me to critique it from a moral standpoint, and from what Julianne has pointed out, about those who commit suicide actually feeling peace, that part in the story doesn’t need to be taken as justification for suicide. But I think my dad actually does approve of the characters’ suicide in this case. So I think I’ll take TKC’s advice if I get the opportunity again, which is very likely.

Thanks all of you for your advice 🙂

Lee
 
There was a sci-fi author (can’t remember who) that wrote about getting critiques-
  • Never get them from your friends or family. They have all kinds of reasons to lie, have their own biases, and most importantly are irrelevant if you’re writing to get published and paid.
  • Submit it to agents and publishers if you want feedback on quality and marketability.
That aside, who is your Dad writing for, and what is he trying to communicate to the reader? Is that message getting across as intended? You as the reader don’t have to agree with it, he may not even agree with how he’s portraying something- he may be wanting to spark a thoughtful reaction vice persuade the reader to accept a certain viewpoint.
 
Lets say he made a completely immoral miner who performed varous sexual favors for a pack of scandinavian blonds in front of his wife, then grabbed the explosive and trapped them all inside to starve to death knowing he’d be instantly crushed…and all the scandinavians cheered his sucide.

Even then, this miner is just a character. Characters are supposed to be flawed just like humans. They don’t make moral decisions. Books would be boring if everyone in them was a goody Catholic. Even in Windeat’s book “Little Flower” she wrote about the murder and the bad decisions that he made and why St. Therese chose to pray for his conversion. There is no redemption in this story…but even in true Catholic stories there’s people we don’t want to be like.

Not everyone wants to write a book where teenage girls want to be vampires “JUST LIKE THE BOOK!”
 
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