Crossing the line with my girlfriend? (mortal sin?)

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Wowbagger said:
nothing at all beyond bookcat’s 19th-century confession guides)
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ehh the moral manual is from the 20th century…1961.

And so are the confession guides… including the one contained in the

Handbook of Prayers published by Midwest Theological Forum in the 1990’s newest edition 2005 “Published by the authority of the Bishops Committee on the Liturgy, National Conference of Bishops” USA (granted this part is not liturgy …but i add this for a sense that it is not a fly by night work…)

It states: "Did I engage in acts such as “petting”, “necking”, passionate kisses, or prolonged embraces?"

(the other one I am thinking of was also Published in the late 20th century…but I misplaced it at the moment…
 
(it is late…i did not read all of the above…but i add this)

“Aquinas wrote of kisses, “insofar as they are lustful, they are mortal sins” (Summa Theologiae II-I q154 a4)”

Yip …that is one way they can be mortal sin.

And what is lust?

Catechism:

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

So kissing that is directly seeking or consenting to sexual pleasure outside of marriage (for example) is by definition an act of lust. A near occasion to such may also be mortal sin if one knows for example such kissing will lead one to consent etc.

Passionate kissing (and so called tongue kissing) is known for its highly sexually stimulating effects --though some persons can be not as effected as others…heck some have very low sexual desire…). Hence it can be listed as a something that ordinarily is likely to cause a good bit of sexual pleasure …and thus can be grave matter. And often can be mortal sin (all three conditions being met). It may also be well to say it can be likely in the category of a “near occasion of mortal sin”.

Hence its inclusion too in the 21’st century examine of conscience noted above…as something one can examine oneself on. (again how one takes the word passionate here is important…fore example one can kiss with a kind of ‘emotional feeling’ affection etc that can be quite fine…)
 
“The problem with common sense is that it is not all that common” - attributed to Voltaire.

The problem with young people of dating age is that they too often have more hormones than common sense, and the excess of hormones seems to impact the rational part of the brain that can unemotionally view acts and determine their moral value.

The first issue with the OP was why they - he and girlfriend - were engaged in any activity whatsoever in an isolated area - be it dorm room, apartment or home. Putting two people into the same room for any extended period of time, without the presence of other individuals raises the possibility that affectionate touching (and by this I include kissing) will occur. And from that, too often that affectionate activity all too often quickly leads to touching that causes physical as well as emotional arousal.

It may well be that the OP did not attain an erection but went directly to ejaculation; but somehow I seriously doubt it. And if he suffers from what Ponyguy refers to as a “hair trigger”, the issue is not the hair trigger; the issue is kissing to the point of starting to get an erection. At that point he is engaging in physical/emotional behavior that is specifically sexually stimulating and he has crossed the line. Period. The fact that he subsequently has an ejaculation is simply proof that the behavior, at some point capable of being rationally realized prior to that, was sexually stimulating.

His body reacted to the kissing; he continued after his body started reacting, and he had an ejaculation. QED. Someone else suggesting that it was embarrassing but not a sin in a way is partially right; the sin occured when he started to react and did not break off, but chose instead to pursue the course of action (kissing) that lead to normal consequences.
 
From JAW642 on 07/13/2010

To thememphisman

This seems like a pretty easy question for me to answer, because I don’t see it as a moral dilemma at all.

I believe this situation of involuntary ejaculation is more common than we think, because it has happened to me in the past. I remember this one time when it happened to me in the car. I and my girlfriend (who is now my wife) were making out in my car in a dark location. And just like you, it was nothing too extreme or out of the ordinary. I know I didn’t even have my pants open, and her blouse was fully buttoned. Of course my body was automatically reacting with a normal erection, which is not sinful, as long as that is not your primary intention or goal. It is simply the way God has designed the human male body to work. I remember that my penis was pointing downward. Then after a while, I suddenly got the feeling that my penis was going to ejaculate, and very quickly, it did. I did not try to stop it because ONE I knew it was not a sin, since it was not something that I had set out to do. And TWO, unlike your case, I did not want to embarrass myself further by admitting to my girlfriend that I was having a premature ejaculation. I had on heavy corduroy pants so it did not show through.

You probably will agree with me, that like many other males, you are overly sensitive when it comes to sexual stimuli. In other words, you get aroused, and get erection very easily.

I guess you can say that technically you ‘masturbated’ in your pants. Or ‘creamed in your jeans’, as they say. But it was definitely not at all sinful. It was involuntary and unplanned on your part. It was nothing more than a spontaneous, uncontrollable Accident. You were just trying to be a good boyfriend to your girlfriend by showing her your love and affection. As long as your intentions remain honorable, there is no sin involved. Your uncontrollable ejaculation was simply an innocent and unforeseen result of your being good to your girlfriend.

Every male knows that once we start to cum, there is really nothing more you can do except to let it happen naturally. You are not obligated to use unnatural means to try to stop it. And any attempt to stop yourself from ejaculating, (whether the ejaculation is unplanned and accidental, or deliberately induced), will always have to be, by definition, an unnatural act, and therefore unnecessary.

Questions for thememphisman:

Is your girlfriend as scrupulous as you are?

Did your girlfriend think that you had committed a sin, OR did she realize that it was simply a very normal and uncontrollable Accident?

If this Accident should happen to you again, without your FULL consent, are you still going to think that you have committed a mortal sin? I hope NOT.

From JAW642 on 07/13/2010
 
Yes, I’d say you crossed the line, but not because there was an emission.
 
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