Crying Children

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lax16 said:
I love to hear crying kids - that means couples are choosing to have children! 🙂
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Ditto. I brought my niece to Mass once and some older guy got very rude to me because she was crying. If there’s a crying kid around me I’ll try to smile at them. Anyway with regards to my niece that was the first time she had ever gone to church and she didn’t know what to expect but she’s gone since then a few times and now that she’s a little bit older she can handle it. My former Pastor whom I would not exactly call orthodox some of his political views I think he should have kept to himself but you know otherwise he was fairly orthodox except in that situation anyway he said bring the kids to church. He said even if they’re crying it’s still means they’re here. Did anyone forget what Jesus said in the Bible? About children? The one dude being rude to me it was really frustrating because I was trying to calm my niece down I’m not going to take her outside because it’s an inconvenience to you. I talked to a lady afterwards who had a handicapped son. And she was frustrated with that dude too she actually stepped outside of the sanctuary and ask me if that guy that made me angry and I told her yes, and I seriously thought about leaving. I think you should take kids with you as soon as you’re physically able to and as soon as they’re physically able to. Yes they might be loud and I might cry but with the priests are going to understand that. For that elderly guy in front of me you know after he said that his wife looked at him like she was about to hit him. The elderly are a special case too because you don’t always know what they say what they say. I think both young and old should be Mss not just those of us somewhere in the middle. If I ever find the right woman which is doubtful and umm at this point might have to go to a different country for that one anyway you know I intend on having children they will go with me to Mass not necessarily from the moment they’re born because it would probably be good for my wife to stay in the hospital make sure everything’s okay with her and the baby but not too far after that. I think too many people make too many reasons not to go to Mass and I found that a lot of times the younger kids if they are old enough to talk I would say about 3 often would rather go to church with you. I know some kids talk before 3 most kids talk before 3 my 16 month old nephew talks not entire sentences but he talks. Anyway my four-year-old niece my eight-year-old niece and my nine-year-old niece all go to church with me when they stay during the weekend the only real problem I have is waking them up. But you know the only real problem I have with myself is waking myself up. And someone mentioned the age of seven years old if you start taking a kid to churches seven years old they’re going to wonder why they weren’t going before or why they should have to go afterwards I can remember being seven years old it’s not an age you necessarily for a bit and that I remember being about four or five years old and actually did go to church when I was little. I think that’s the reason we have so many kids that believe that Sunday is just another Saturday. Anyway this is just my opinion.
 
LiamQ said:
Yes, but I’m trying to get across that one party is far less concerned with “the world revolving around them” than your original comment insinuated. 👍

I likewise sympathize with those who have to suffer whatever sort of distractions they suffer during Mass.

But I likewise know that the Christian life involves adequately dealing with suffering.

My biggest concern is not which of the two parties has the fairest perspective.

My biggest concern is that those who complain are missing the point of the cross, and I would like to encourage them to consider that aspect of spirituality a bit more closely.

But when we talk about bearing the cross of listening to a crying baby for a few seconds here and there during Mass, I think we’re being absolutely over the top should we consider that cross to be somehow worthy of being beside ourselves in frustration over.

If a crying baby is making someone incapable of focusing on Mass, perhaps the problem isn’t the crying baby.
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Consider the person experiencing spiritual warfare who is desperate for the words of the mass and may not have the fruits of the Spirit in abundance. The list could go on for everyone involved and we do not want to start a divide in the congregation.

I admire the parents I see who take the walk and do it with tact and love
 
lax16 said:
I love to hear crying kids - that means couples are choosing to have children! 🙂
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I like that! And I also respect my pastor for saying that the sounds of children/infants occasionally making a noise does not bother him.

When an infant or toddler is screaming continuously the parent knows they should take a walk outside or go into the soundproof room.

We do have a “cry room” but it is not used, unless there is an emergency, as mentioned above.
 
mattp0625 said:
Consider the person experiencing spiritual warfare who is desperate for the words of the mass and may not have the fruits of the Spirit in abundance.
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I’m sorry, but this is overly dramatic.

Dealing with little bits of discomfort in love and submission to God’s will is Christianity 101.

Expecting everyone to be isolated from any sort of pressure or anything less than perfect tranquility their whole life is clearly ridiculous.

This principle applies whether we’re at Holy Mass or not, and we need to examine ourselves to make sure we don’t have an attitude of wanting to avoid discomfort because it’s just not something we care to face.

That can quickly lead to being frustrated at everyone from parents at Mass to God Himself.
 
LiamQ said:
I’m sorry, but this is overly dramatic.

Dealing with little bits of discomfort in love and submission to God’s will is Christianity 101.

Expecting everyone to be isolated from any sort of pressure or anything less than perfect tranquility their whole life is clearly ridiculous.

This principle applies whether we’re at Holy Mass or not, and we need to examine ourselves to make sure we don’t have an attitude of wanting to avoid discomfort because it’s just not something we care to face.

That can quickly lead to being frustrated at everyone from parents at Mass to God Himself.
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Ok, I understand you wouldn’t take the walk. Some parents do.
 
LiamQ said:
If a crying baby is making someone incapable of focusing on Mass, perhaps the problem isn’t the crying baby.
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And maybe that is the problem. But doesn’t that person have as much right to try and attend mass as the parent(s) of the crying baby? A baby whimpering for a few seconds, as you put it, is not a cause for a problem. However, a baby that is wailing behind you, and the parent(s) not taking them out to the back of the church until they can calm them down is just thoughtless on their part.

Babies are less of a problem than children that talk constantly through mass and parents that keep answering them, none of it in a whisper. Sometimes adults are just as bad.:rolleyes:

My solution is that I change my seat.
 
I believe families should attend together as much as possible - the entire family - and worship together.

That said, I do sympathize with people who find themselves so distracted that it’s difficult to focus and worship; mass truly is a treasure and if you can’t feel “present” it can be very frustrating.

I would suggest that as often as possible, attend daily mass. I think you will find it’s a shorter mass and much quieter, and you may find it more fruitful. Then the weekend mass becomes more of a “family holiday” and you may actually enjoy the little ones present 🙂

Though it can take extra effort to find one and fit it into your schedule, I promise you it isn’t any more of a difficulty/hassle than the solutions offered in the first post for parents (to attend separately or find someone to watch the children).
 
Two_of_Clubs said:
I thought about a couple of solutions to the crying kids in Mass problem. For all intents and purposes, we’ll just pretend I’m married with kids.

Solution #1:
Call someone who’s already been to Mass (or who isn’t Catholic) to watch the kid, and boom: problem solved.

Solution #2:
I can stay at home with the kids while my wife goes to Mass, and then we switch.

With respect to Solution #1, I think the only substantial question we need to ask is:* Is it a sin to leave your baptised infant at home every Sunday and not take it to Mass?*

With respect to Solution #2, I think the only substantial question here is: Is it a sin not to attend Mass as a family unit?

Any thoughts?
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I take it you routinely watch others children so they may attend a quiet reverent Mass?
 
One thing to note about cry rooms and church nurseries… These places, I believe, instill a mindset on the youngsters that church is a place to go play.This is a bad precedent. They may relate the cry room or nursery to a specific toy or book and that is additionally problematic. Obviously if an infant is crying uncontrollably, something should be done- for the sake of the child as well as the people. But taking older children to these places so that the parent does not have to deal with teaching self control to their children is a bad idea. Same goes for eating in Mass. An hour a week for even a small child, while it may seem like a long time, is a doable time frame to go without toys and snacks. And it just instills the proper mindset into the youngsters of the purpose and decorum of church.
 
I think there has to be greater understanding on both sides, perhaps.

Kids make noise; it’s a fact of life. But, I think that what bothers a lot of people is when the kids of consistently disruptive and the parents make no effort to correct the behavior - kicking the backs of pews, screaming, throwing toys., running up and down the aisles, etc… These are extremes and that’s what I think (at least I hope) most people are speaking of when they complain about kids in church. One example that stands out at me, was a mass where I kept hearing something hitting the wall on the side of me. I turned and looked, and there was a toddler throwing his books and toys at the wall. The parents paid it no mind.

Again, I think it’s the extremes. Just as there are some who don’t want to hear any noise from any child at mass - a squeal, a cry, a word, a laugh, a dropped toy… . That’s just as unreasonable.
 
Two_of_Clubs said:
I thought about a couple of solutions to the crying kids in Mass problem. For all intents and purposes, we’ll just pretend I’m married with kids.

Solution #1:
Call someone who’s already been to Mass (or who isn’t Catholic) to watch the kid, and boom: problem solved.

Solution #2:
I can stay at home with the kids while my wife goes to Mass, and then we switch.

With respect to Solution #1, I think the only substantial question we need to ask is:* Is it a sin to leave your baptised infant at home every Sunday and not take it to Mass?*

With respect to Solution #2, I think the only substantial question here is: Is it a sin not to attend Mass as a family unit?

I was taught to bring babies and children to mass. Believe me I know its a struggle, but what is very sad is to see children of an older age not knowing how to behave at mass, because they were left at home out of convenience when they were younger. They will never learn proper reverance. I witness kids like this often some people do not bring their children well beyond the infant stage.
Jesus said bring the little children to me -or something similar and Jesus loves children at mass,
It is not a sin-until a certain age I would think, but we go to mass for God…

If children are bothering you-attend a mass that has less children.
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I do understand people who are distracted by babies at Mass. I have a disability and the sound of babies crying and music completely unnerves me. That is why I avoid going to stores, crowded places, etcetera.

Yes, babies definetely have a right to attend Mass and should be made to feel welcomed. My intense suffering is not their fault.

I simply want to point out that there are people who can’t tolerate certain sounds. That does not make them selfish or make them think the “world revolves around them”. I am a very pro-life person so I simply offer it up because I wouldn’t want anyone to feel unwelcome.

Thank you for understanding.
 
DeniseNY said:
I think there has to be greater understanding on both sides, perhaps.

Kids make noise; it’s a fact of life. But, I think that what bothers a lot of people is when the kids of consistently disruptive and the parents make no effort to correct the behavior - kicking the backs of pews, screaming, throwing toys., running up and down the aisles, etc… These are extremes and that’s what I think (at least I hope) most people are speaking of when they complain about kids in church. One example that stands out at me, was a mass where I kept hearing something hitting the wall on the side of me. I turned and looked, and there was a toddler throwing his books and toys at the wall. The parents paid it no mind.

Again, I think it’s the extremes. Just as there are some who don’t want to hear any noise from any child at mass - a squeal, a cry, a word, a laugh, a dropped toy… . That’s just as unreasonable.
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Denise, I think you have summed this up very nicely. 👍
 
DeniseNY said:
I think there has to be greater understanding on both sides, perhaps.

Kids make noise; it’s a fact of life. But, I think that what bothers a lot of people is when the kids of consistently disruptive and the parents make no effort to correct the behavior - kicking the backs of pews, screaming, throwing toys., running up and down the aisles, etc… These are extremes and that’s what I think (at least I hope) most people are speaking of when they complain about kids in church. One example that stands out at me, was a mass where I kept hearing something hitting the wall on the side of me. I turned and looked, and there was a toddler throwing his books and toys at the wall. The parents paid it no mind.

Again, I think it’s the extremes. Just as there are some who don’t want to hear any noise from any child at mass - a squeal, a cry, a word, a laugh, a dropped toy… . That’s just as unreasonable.
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I agree 100%. At one Mass I attended a 3 year old boy kept kicking, hitting and screaming at his mother to " Lets Go!" She completely ignored the whole thing and I was wishing I could pick that little guy up and tan his backside and hers too. Ignoring a child does not teach self control. God Bless, Memaw
 
jaimeleglise said:
I do understand people who are distracted by babies at Mass. I have a disability and the sound of babies crying and music completely unnerves me. That is why I avoid going to stores, crowded places, etcetera.

Yes, babies definetely have a right to attend Mass and should be made to feel welcomed. My intense suffering is not their fault.

I simply want to point out that there are people who can’t tolerate certain sounds. That does not make them selfish or make them think the “world revolves around them”. I am a very pro-life person so I simply offer it up because I wouldn’t want anyone to feel unwelcome.

Thank you for understanding.
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You are dealing with your disability in an adult way. The OP expects babies to be left at home to accommodate his own lack of self regulation. There’s a pretty big difference in attitude there, one of which does expect the world to revolve around them.
 
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