Crying Children

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OP, the answer to both of your questions is no.

There is no obligation to bring infants to Mass and no obligation for the entire family to attend the same Mass. Don’t invent things to worry about.
 
jane_doe said:
Pardon my ignorance: but why is this a problem? Yes, obviously babies are going to cry, but why is this a problem?
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I am not sure if you have attended a Catholic mass, but it is much different than LDS services. When we were young mothers together, my Mormon friends would talk about listening to services while nursing their babies in a comfortable recliner in a special room for young mothers. I would tell think about how different it was for me!

The little ones can make it hard to hear sometimes, especially when parents aren’t good about managing the problem.

However, every time this happens in mass and my ten year old scrunches up her face, I tell her it is a good problem to have. 🙂
 
No on both counts.

While “family praying together” is commendable, it is in no way required. It can’t be; family ties are broken only by death, whereas people move out and away for numerous reasons.

And infants are not required to be at Mass; not until Communion is received in childhood.

ICXC NIKA
 
Crying babies irritate me when they’re so loud that I can’t hear what’s being said. It shouldn’t get to that point before the parent does something drastic—like carry the baby out. Aside from that, I generally ignore them. When our children were young, we were so overly sensitive about upsetting people that we’d take them out with the slightest noise.

I spent most Masses pacing in the vestibule with my middle daughter until she was about 5 years old. 😉
 
Memaw said:
I agree 100%. At one Mass I attended a 3 year old boy kept kicking, hitting and screaming at his mother to " Lets Go!" She completely ignored the whole thing and I was wishing I could pick that little guy up and tan his backside and hers too. Ignoring a child does not teach self control. God Bless, Memaw
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Actually, in this case as the child wanted to go making him stay would, in my opinion be the best response. She may already have said no, so again in my opinion, ignoring future requests would be reasonable. She was teaching the child that throwing a tantrum was not going to get him his own way.

On saying that I will concede that it is very distracting.
 
lax16 said:
I love to hear crying kids - that means couples are choosing to have children! 🙂
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👍👍

If it bothers you to hear the sound of Catholicism growing, find a quieter mass! I don’t hear many at the Saturady night mass - they are usually asleep in the pews!

My wife and I could not have any, so hearing the sounds of others is pleasing unto my ears!
 
Elf01 said:
Actually, in this case as the child wanted to go making him stay would, in my opinion be the best response. She may already have said no, so again in my opinion, ignoring future requests would be reasonable. She was teaching the child that throwing a tantrum was not going to get him his own way.

On saying that I will concede that it is very distracting.
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To let a 3 yr. old child continue to kick and hit Mom while screaming at her, is totally wrong to ignore. He just kept getting madder. Someone finally said something to her and she left with him. Probably more mad at the fellow than at her son. The little boy got his way!! That was a few years ago, I often wonder how the little guy is now. And the Mom!!! I also wonder how she would have handled 2 or 3 more little ones. God Bless, Memaw
 
Memaw said:
To let a 3 yr. old child continue to kick and hit Mom while screaming at her, is totally wrong to ignore. He just kept getting madder. Someone finally said something to her and she left with him. Probably more mad at the fellow than at her son. The little boy got his way!! That was a few years ago, I often wonder how the little guy is now. And the Mom!!! I also wonder how she would have handled 2 or 3 more little ones. God Bless, Memaw
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👍
 
There is one interesting observation. I know we have all seen less than ideal children and parenting at mass, but every time these threads come up and the idea is that parents need to bring children. I wonder if other situation would warrant the same response. Rarely do I see threads decrying the noise of the old lady with the oxygen tank that makes its noise ever 20 seconds thereby breaking people’s concentration at mass.
Rarely would there be a thread of a caretaker of a severely mentally handicapped adult being told they need not be at mass… Or perhaps building a room where the old lady and the mentally handicapped person could be set away from the rest of the body of Christ.
Sadly In more than one parish I have visited I have asked the question " where are your children?" In a creepy horror movie vibe…
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
There is one interesting observation. I know we have all seen less than ideal children and parenting at mass, but every time these threads come up and the idea is that parents need to bring children. I wonder if other situation would warrant the same response. Rarely do I see threads decrying the noise of the old lady with the oxygen tank that makes its noise ever 20 seconds thereby breaking people’s concentration at mass.
Rarely would there be a thread of a caretaker of a severely mentally handicapped adult being told they need not be at mass… Or perhaps building a room where the old lady and the mentally handicapped person could be set away from the rest of the body of Christ.
Sadly In more than one parish I have visited I have asked the question " where are your children?" In a creepy horror movie vibe…
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I sat in front of a gentleman for years that had an oxygen tank, Didn’t bother me at all, I was thankful they had them to help him, I prayed for him, and now my older brother has one. I think the newer ones are much quieter. What was annoying was a family of 5 kids that went back and forth to the restrooms all during Mass, several times each, climbing over people etc. Even just before and during the Consecration. Parents never seemed to notice and never put a stop to it. These were not real little ones although they did too at times following the older ones. I made sure my kids used the restroom at home before we left for Mass and they knew they were not allowed to leave Mass, unless it was a real, need. Seldom ever happened. God Bless, Memaw
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
There is one interesting observation. I know we have all seen less than ideal children and parenting at mass, but every time these threads come up and the idea is that parents need to bring children. I wonder if other situation would warrant the same response. Rarely do I see threads decrying the noise of the old lady with the oxygen tank that makes its noise ever 20 seconds thereby breaking people’s concentration at mass.
Rarely would there be a thread of a caretaker of a severely mentally handicapped adult being told they need not be at mass… Or perhaps building a room where the old lady and the mentally handicapped person could be set away from the rest of the body of Christ.
Sadly In more than one parish I have visited I have asked the question " where are your children?" In a creepy horror movie vibe…
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How your mind can think of comparing a person suffering from a disabling medical condition with a person suffering from a lack of discipline at home is unbelievably disturbing. I pray that you will never learn about daily life with a disabling illness, or that you have the responsibility of caring for the person you love withering away one day at a time for years until God relieves them from their suffering. Perhaps then you will no longer make comparisons between a spoiled child who has never heard the word no and a person who has been carrying a cross heavier than you can imagine.
 
WJeffrey said:
How your mind can think of comparing a person suffering from a disabling medical condition with a person suffering from a lack of discipline at home is unbelievably disturbing. I pray that you will never learn about daily life with a disabling illness, or that you have the responsibility of caring for the person you love withering away one day at a time for years until God relieves them from their suffering. Perhaps then you will no longer make comparisons between a spoiled child who has never heard the word no and a person who has been carrying a cross heavier than you can imagine.
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Good point. However, each can be distracting to those trying to participate in the mass. It’s not the child’s fault the parents aren’t using appropriate discipline just like a person with a health condition didn’t ask for that burden.

I have decided whether a person is distracting due to their lack of clothing (where are her parents!?) or due to someone with a health condition, it is up to me to keep my concentration on the mass and not worry about the details.
 
Our parish has addressed the subject of children and infants at Mass. There are cards in every pew that state that we welcome babies and children at Mass, we want them there, and also a few hints for parents of small children to help them manage them.

We do not have a nursery or cry room, children learn how to behave at Mass by going and being taught how to behave. That is the view of the parish and the priests are not bothered by crying babies… People are good about taking the children into the gathering space if they misbehave or the babies cry too hard.

When i was a new mother in 1971 I had my baby daughter with me at Mass and she began to cry loudly during the homily. I got up to take her out , and as I left, I heard the old Dominican priest saying “God bless those parents who bother to dress up their babies and bring them to church.” That has been my attitude ever since. 🙂
 
WJeffrey said:
How your mind can think of comparing a person suffering from a disabling medical condition with a person suffering from a lack of discipline at home is unbelievably disturbing. I pray that you will never learn about daily life with a disabling illness, or that you have the responsibility of caring for the person you love withering away one day at a time for years until God relieves them from their suffering. Perhaps then you will no longer make comparisons between a spoiled child who has never heard the word no and a person who has been carrying a cross heavier than you can imagine.
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The OP wasn’t talking about spoiled children, He was talking about BABIES. BABIES cry because they are BABIES, not because they lack discipline.
 
Allegra said:
The OP wasn’t talking about spoiled children, He was talking about BABIES. BABIES cry because they are BABIES, not because they lack discipline.
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Exactly.

Most babies will grow out of it. But there are some who won’t. Do we exclude these people from Mass, too? Or do we offer up our own annoyance at any disturbance we feel?

(Truthfully, that’s what I do regardless of the reason for disturbance. Unless it’s my child, it’s not my business. )
 
WJeffrey said:
How your mind can think of comparing a person suffering from a disabling medical condition with a person suffering from a lack of discipline at home is unbelievably disturbing. I pray that you will never learn about daily life with a disabling illness, or that you have the responsibility of caring for the person you love withering away one day at a time for years until God relieves them from their suffering. Perhaps then you will no longer make comparisons between a spoiled child who has never heard the word no and a person who has been carrying a cross heavier than you can imagine.
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When did this thread turn into a lack of discipline at home?!
 
Memaw said:
I sat in front of a gentleman for years that had an oxygen tank, Didn’t bother me at all, I was thankful they had them to help him, I prayed for him, and now my older brother has one. I think the newer ones are much quieter. What was annoying was a family of 5 kids that went back and forth to the restrooms all during Mass, several times each, climbing over people etc. Even just before and during the Consecration. Parents never seemed to notice and never put a stop to it. These were not real little ones although they did too at times following the older ones. I made sure my kids used the restroom at home before we left for Mass and they knew they were not allowed to leave Mass, unless it was a real, need. Seldom ever happened. God Bless, Memaw
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Sounds like your family would have been a pleasure to sit behind. I think charity should be used with others who do not have children who behave like yours and mine.
 
I often think that we are going judge and complain our way to empty churches. Oh well, at least it will be quiet. Not even the hum of a heater in the winter. Just a big empty building…
 
My parish has always made me feel very welcome with children.

I heard a story about our pastor once. Apparently, at one mass, a parishioner told a young mother that she shouldn’t be at Mass if she couldn’t control her child. The mother was upset to the point of tears. I think she met the pastor after Mass and relayed what happened. Next week during the homily, the pastor spoke to the half of the congregation where this incident occurred. “Last week, I heard someone in this half of the church told a mother she shouldn’t be here if she can’t control her child. Don’t you ever say anything like that again.” And that was that.

As for myself, I guess I’m blessed with a great capacity to ignore background crying. I usually don’t notice it. Growing up I always heard it in Mass, so I’m accustomed.
 
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