Cuddling during Mass

[StatCrux]

Does anyone else notice this? Maybe “cuddling” is too extreme to describe what these people are doing, but does anyone else find it inappropriate when a wife is resting her head on her husband’s shoulder while he has his arm wrapped around her? There are other similar things that go on too. I guess I would be OK with holding hands or something, but sometimes there is a little too much physical contact. We are suppose to be worshiping the Lord not having a husband/wife moment. Go on a date! Maybe I am being and crusty, old prude. Am I totally off base here? I admit, sometimes I can be.

 

[Sina]

YeahI refrain from showing PDA’s with my husband while at mass. I am not there to snuggle. I do once in awhile squeeze my husband’s hand … He isn’t Catholic and I just want to let him know I am glad he is there and I am not ignoring him. He is very respectful.

I haven’t seen much snuggling during mass though…

 

[johnnykins]

Does anyone else notice this? Maybe “cuddling” is too extreme to describe what these people are doing, but does anyone else find it inappropriate when a wife is resting her head on her husband’s shoulder while he has his arm wrapped around her? There are other similar things that go on too. I guess I would be OK with holding hands or something, but sometimes there is a little too much physical contact. We are suppose to be worshiping the Lord not having a husband/wife moment. Go on a date! Maybe I am being and crusty, old prude. Am I totally off base here? I admit, sometimes I can be.

Based on your description - Yes, you are off base.

 

[PaixGioiaAmor]

Yeah, even though “God is love” and these people are married and living their marriage vocation publicly and expressing their faith together, I find this disgusting.

 

[tee_eff_em]

I’m sure glad the relationship between Christ and his Church will never be like that between a bridegroom and his bride…

tee

 

[RC1960]

You’re not off base.

Mass isn’t about the community “feeling” towards each other, it is about each coming to God through Jesus Christ. Communion, through the Eucharist is when we become “community”. So when the priest utters Christ’s words of the first Eucharist, Christ is there. As Moses had to remove his sandals by being in the mere presence of God; likewise, guess how one should behave during Mass when in Christ’s presence?

No, you’re not off base just be sure to leave minding others to the clergy.

 

[sandraladeda]

Does anyone else notice this? Maybe “cuddling” is too extreme to describe what these people are doing, but does anyone else find it inappropriate when a wife is resting her head on her husband’s shoulder while he has his arm wrapped around her? There are other similar things that go on too. I guess I would be OK with holding hands or something, but sometimes there is a little too much physical contact. We are suppose to be worshiping the Lord not having a husband/wife moment. Go on a date! Maybe I am being and crusty, old prude. Am I totally off base here? I admit, sometimes I can be.

It’s possible there are things going on in their lives which you are unaware of - such as death or illness of a family member, or themselves. In such a case, would it be so wrong for a husband to offer comfort or support to his wife?

imho

 

[sandraladeda]

You’re not off base.

**Mass isn’t about the community “feeling” towards each other, it is about each coming to God through Jesus Christ. ** Communion, through the Eucharist is when we become “community”. So when the priest utters Christ’s words of the first Eucharist, Christ is there. As Moses had to remove his sandals by being in the mere presence of God; likewise, guess how one should behave during Mass when in Christ’s presence?

No, you’re not off base just be sure to leave minding others to the clergy.

However, coming to God through Jesus Christ can happen, imo, while also feeling close to one’s spouse. Feeling does not take away from the experience of Communion. I wonder where this notion has come from, that feeling at mass should be avoided at all cost? Or that, if you feel something, it is automatically at the expense of experiencing Christ in the Eucharist?

 

[Cat]

I agree with sandraladeda.

You have no idea what is going on in the lives of others. You have no right to dictate the appropriate affectionate displays between couples or families.

Many times, the priest has said something in his homily that touches my heart by recalling a tender memory, and I lay my head on my husband’s shoulder or he will put his arm around me.

I suppose someone will soon start a thread about why it is inappropriate for a parent and child to hug each other or for the child to sit on a parent’s lap during Mass.

We are HUMANS, everyone! We are NOT YET GLORIFIED!

At this point in Church history, a marriage is supposed to be a picture of Christ and His Church. What better picture than a husband and wife cuddling? The Lord said that He would like to gather us to Himself like a mother hen, didn’t He?

If Mass isn’t a “community” gathering, then why is it that so many are concerning themselves with the rest of the Community? Why not just keep your eyes closed throughout the entire Mass, or keep them focused on the Tabernacle?

 

[johnnykins]

I agree with sandraladeda.

You have no idea what is going on in the lives of others. You have no right to dictate the appropriate affectionate displays between couples or families.

Many times, the priest has said something in his homily that touches my heart by recalling a tender memory, and I lay my head on my husband’s shoulder or he will put his arm around me.

I suppose someone will soon start a thread about why it is inappropriate for a parent and child to hug each other or for the child to sit on a parent’s lap during Mass.

We are HUMANS, everyone! We are NOT YET GLORIFIED!

At this point in Church history, a marriage is supposed to be a picture of Christ and His Church. What better picture than a husband and wife cuddling? The Lord said that He would like to gather us to Himself like a mother hen, didn’t He?

If Mass isn’t a “community” gathering, then why is it that so many are concerning themselves with the rest of the Community? Why not just keep your eyes closed throughout the entire Mass, or keep them focused on the Tabernacle?

I think what you’re seeing in those who say things like - Mass isn’t about feeling - is a reaction to the post-VII experimentation. Too often (way too often) Mass became all about feeling. Chant and the most glorious polyphony was jettisoned for folk rock and other dreck in the name of “feeling;” solemnity was discarded for charismatic hand waving and hand holding because it “felt” like the Lord was there; theology, rationality and catechesis were dumbed down or rejected in the name of You’re OK I’m OK feelings.

I have no problem with appropriate acts of affection during Mass and otherwise. But, I do understand those who resist it. We who lived through that upheaval always wonder if it’s the nose of the camel coming under the tent - and the next thing we know Fr. Goodtime Charley will tell us all to embrace everyone in the church with high fives and hoo-ahh cheers. Unfortunately, we lived stuff very much like that.

 

[richwmiller]

However, coming to God through Jesus Christ can happen, imo, while also feeling close to one’s spouse. Feeling does not take away from the experience of Communion. I wonder where this notion has come from, that feeling at mass should be avoided at all cost? Or that, if you feel something, it is automatically at the expense of experiencing Christ in the Eucharist?

Feeling at mass is fine. But trying to make it the focal point is not. Such focused physical contact is focusing on the wrong person. Can you not watch with him for one hour?

It is hard top know where to draw the line however.
Holding hands during the whole mass and leaning on each other cannot be conducive to prayer.
We are not there to focus on each other but to focus on God.

 

[KathleenElsie]

Does anyone else notice this? Maybe “cuddling” is too extreme to describe what these people are doing, but does anyone else find it inappropriate when a wife is resting her head on her husband’s shoulder while he has his arm wrapped around her? There are other similar things that go on too. I guess I would be OK with holding hands or something, but sometimes there is a little too much physical contact. We are suppose to be worshiping the Lord not having a husband/wife moment. Go on a date! Maybe I am being and crusty, old prude. Am I totally off base here? I admit, sometimes I can be.

I think you are right on. We sit together and stay in a prayerful posture so God is the one we are closest tooooo.

 

[KathleenElsie]

Feeling at mass is fine. But trying to make it the focal point is not. Such focused physical contact is focusing on the wrong person. Can you not watch with him for one hour?

It is hard top know where to draw the line however.
Holding hands during the whole mass and leaning on each other cannot be conducive to prayer.
We are not there to focus on each other but to focus on God.

 

[Cat]

“Cuddling with a spouse” does not equate with “making feeling the focal point during Mass.”

For many of us, hand holding, touching, leaning against each other, etc. are physical actions that we do without even thinking about it. They do not detract from our devotion to the Lord.

You think it is not conducive to prayer? Perhaps not for you, but it is different for others. I have no problem concentrating on the Lord when my husband is touching me.

 

[chevalier]

Yeah, even though “God is love” and these people are married and living their marriage vocation publicly and expressing their faith together, I find this disgusting.

What’s disgusting in a wife resting her head on the husband’s shoulder while he has his arm around her?

Personally, I would find that rather endearing.

 

[Cat]

I think whether or not it is inappropriate during Mass depends entirely on what is in the peoples hearts…

As people mentioned, it could be a devastating time for this couple. I do not ever “cuddle” with my husband during Mass but can envision myself leaning on him during a time of severe crisis or loss such as a death in the family.

If in fact, people are just “cuddling” as people would do at a movie, that would be inappropriate.

Since we are not capable of seeing into people’s hearts and know what is going on with them…we should try and be charitable and assume they are doing it for an understandable reason.

That’s such a sweet, Christian spirit, and something that I want to do more of, especially in Mass! Thanks for the nice thought to end the day, Monicad.

 

[beckers]

What’s disgusting in a wife resting her head on the husband’s shoulder while he has his arm around her?

Personally, I would find that rather endearing.

Me too.

When i come to mass i see my community. I see people of all different types. I see the mother who is taking care of her fuss baby, I can hear the childern of the parish and I get to see them grow and change in their faith. Have you ever seen a young child try to be like their older sibling and try to read the missalite even though they can’t read? It’s beutiful to see the faith of these childern grow. I also get to see see the old couple couple who comes to mass together and holds hands or the new couple experience their faith together for the first time or to experience the “cuddling” of couple at their childs funeral. None of these things would i consider distracting but quite the opposite. They are things that bring me closer to God because i see and “feel” him all around me. His blessing of childern, the love that brought and sustands couples through good times and bad times in their marriages. All of these things are examples of the living God. Personal my mass experiences are never the quiet silence experience of just me and God. They are alive with the spirit of those around me. We make up the community that is Worhsiping the same beautiful God and we will all particapte in the mystery of the Eurcharist together.

 

[Thursday1]

What’s disgusting in a wife resting her head on the husband’s shoulder while he has his arm around her?

Personally, I would find that rather endearing.

If you look at the end of the post there was a smily. It was said sarcastically. (or that was my take on it.)

Yours in Christ,
Thursday

 

[Cat]

beckers, another great thought, filled with Christian love and understanding, to start off my day! Thanks!

 

[Cat]

I would rather see a couple cuddling than see a couple–oops, a single—who split up and now only one of them still attends Mass.

Why is it all about sex with some people? Cuddling does NOT equate with sexual stuff. And even if it does, sex is a picture (given to us by God) of the relationship between Christ and His Church. Why shouldn’t we all be reminded of it by Christian couples? It makes us think of Jesus and His love for His spouse (us).