Culpability for sexual thoughts/fantasies

[ssa_trad_cath]

I should probably pefix my question by stating that I can be a bit OCD/scrupulous, hence the reason for asking this question!

One of my faults is sexual thoughts/fantasies. I went to confession on Friday morning, and had the intention, as the Act of Contrition says, “…with the help of your grace I will not sin again.” I had the intention of trying to “stay clean” as I was going to Mass a couple of times over the weekend and it’s Christmas in just over a week’s time. Tried to follow the advice of the Confesor I went to, particularly with respect to avoiding anything that could act as a trigger.

BUT… the following night I woke up in the middle of the night and as I’m half-asleep and half-awake, just for a short time until I stop it, my imagination kicks in. Nothing “happened” except what was going through my mind for a short time but enough to half-convince myself I’ve committed a mortal sin. Reason is trying to tell me “Don’t be stupid, you were half-asleep and that means you didn’t fully consent and besides, you stopped yourself when you realised”. But the old OCD anxiety is saying “You did it all the same…you did the act and so you’ve committed the sin”.

OCD/anxiety? Or a genuine problem?

 

[wanabesaint]

A good reflection is for young people to stop and reflect to what do they want in life and what are our true wealth, to which humility is the teacher of wisdom…

We would wish that young people come to reflect that they desire to some day to be married to a wonderfull spouse that makes them proud, upstanding and respected, that even though life will present trials their suport and love of each other carry them through the goood times and bad. and that calls for Discipline, Discipline to get ones family to church and the discipline to stand agaisnt wrongs, to never set a bad example to follow, but to to be a shining beacon for others to follow, a example of charity towards others…

Can God trust you with the little issues, that you might come to be disciplined to not do what is wrong in a minor way, that God someday might entrust to you a greater and more glorious treasure that you will be disciplined to lead them on the right path?

Can God present the most Glorious gifts to you , and not are they worthy of YOU, but are You worthy and disciplined to be worthy of? Your discipline and appreciation determines if you are worthy of?

 

[mommamaree]

I should probably pefix my question by stating that I can be a bit OCD/scrupulous, hence the reason for asking this question!

One of my faults is sexual thoughts/fantasies. I went to confession on Friday morning, and had the intention, as the Act of Contrition says, “…with the help of your grace I will not sin again.” I had the intention of trying to “stay clean” as I was going to Mass a couple of times over the weekend and it’s Christmas in just over a week’s time. Tried to follow the advice of the Confesor I went to, particularly with respect to avoiding anything that could act as a trigger.

BUT… the following night I woke up in the middle of the night and as I’m half-asleep and half-awake, just for a short time until I stop it, my imagination kicks in. Nothing “happened” except what was going through my mind for a short time but enough to half-convince myself I’ve committed a mortal sin. Reason is trying to tell me “Don’t be stupid, you were half-asleep and that means you didn’t fully consent and besides, you stopped yourself when you realised”. But the old OCD anxiety is saying “You did it all the same…you did the act and so you’ve committed the sin”.

OCD/anxiety? Or a genuine problem?

This doesn’t sound like a sin to me. Having a thought go through your mind is not the same as entertaining a thought, which is not the same as acting on the thought to deliberately derive sexual enjoyment out of it.

 

[RPRPsych]

Frankly, I think a single split-second thought isn’t sinful, especially if you are half-asleep.

Psychology teaches us that the odd “unacceptable” thought, technically called an intrusion, is a universal experience. This may take various forms - aggression, sex, or even just an irrational fear or doubt.

As long as you’re not dwelling on such thoughts, deriving pleasure from them, willfully inviting them, or moving to graver sins (pornography, masturbation), such thoughts are best ignored. They’re certainly not mortal sins.

 

[Peter_Plato]

I should probably pefix my question by stating that I can be a bit OCD/scrupulous, hence the reason for asking this question!

One of my faults is sexual thoughts/fantasies. I went to confession on Friday morning, and had the intention, as the Act of Contrition says, “…with the help of your grace I will not sin again.” I had the intention of trying to “stay clean” as I was going to Mass a couple of times over the weekend and it’s Christmas in just over a week’s time. Tried to follow the advice of the Confesor I went to, particularly with respect to avoiding anything that could act as a trigger.

BUT… the following night I woke up in the middle of the night and as I’m half-asleep and half-awake, just for a short time until I stop it, my imagination kicks in. Nothing “happened” except what was going through my mind for a short time but enough to half-convince myself I’ve committed a mortal sin. Reason is trying to tell me “Don’t be stupid, you were half-asleep and that means you didn’t fully consent and besides, you stopped yourself when you realised”. But the old OCD anxiety is saying “You did it all the same…you did the act and so you’ve committed the sin”.

OCD/anxiety? Or a genuine problem?

What you are experiencing is the beginning of freedom in Christ. You have been disconnected from the concupiscence that is the fallen state that we live in as a result of original sin. By continuing to overcome the temptations you will be more free of the tendencies and disposition towards sin that is the result of our fallen condition.

You have been lifted out of that state by grace in confession, now you are seeing it as the state of your soul that needs to be “cleaned up.” It’s like living in a messy and disordered house. When you make a resolve to clean and order the house, that is the first step to achieving the clean up. It is “seeing the mess” so to speak. The fact that you are seeing the mess is the sign of grace. It is when you are oblivious to the mess that you are in a state of sin and blind to it.

Now the choices are to 1) run away from the mess in fear, 2) give up because the mess is so overwhelming, 3) decide the messy condition is where you want to live or 4) begin the process of cleaning up your house and don’t give up until it is in order.

Is experiencing the dreams and temptations sinful? No, but these do let you see the state of your heart and mind. Be of firm resolve to work with grace to “clean up” and God will provide the energy to do so. Make that an overall commitment even when short term relapses to the old ways occur. Strengthen your commitment to clean up your house against any and all inclinations to do otherwise. That is the most important thing to remember.

 

[Qoeleth]

While we are living, we are in the flesh, and so the flesh will often do ‘its own thing.’ Our bodies a physically and psychologically programed to reproduce, so, of course, sexual thoughts are natural. They are not necessarily ‘impure’. I would not even worry about it, and certainly not feel guilty.

 

[twoangels]

I should probably pefix my question by stating that I can be a bit OCD/scrupulous, hence the reason for asking this question!

One of my faults is sexual thoughts/fantasies. I went to confession on Friday morning, and had the intention, as the Act of Contrition says, “…with the help of your grace I will not sin again.” I had the intention of trying to “stay clean” as I was going to Mass a couple of times over the weekend and it’s Christmas in just over a week’s time. Tried to follow the advice of the Confesor I went to, particularly with respect to avoiding anything that could act as a trigger.

BUT… the following night I woke up in the middle of the night and as I’m half-asleep and half-awake, just for a short time until I stop it, my imagination kicks in. Nothing “happened” except what was going through my mind for a short time but enough to half-convince myself I’ve committed a mortal sin. Reason is trying to tell me “Don’t be stupid, you were half-asleep and that means you didn’t fully consent and besides, you stopped yourself when you realised”. But the old OCD anxiety is saying “You did it all the same…you did the act and so you’ve committed the sin”.

OCD/anxiety? Or a genuine problem?

This was the area I considered my troubled sexual area when I was single. I’d question how awake I was. At what point did I have full consent of the will? Was any internal battle with myself acceptable? Was I going too far by refusing to go to sleep if my mind kept delving into sexual thoughts as I began to drift?

To be honest, when I went to confession, I was just told it was a good idea to confess it just in case. I think a lot of assumptions were made on the priests parts. I often was confused at the advise given to me. But I thought correcting their understanding was motivated out of pride, so if they wrongfully thought I had done more than I had, I let them think that.

If you’re struggling with scruplocity, try focusing your energy more on discerning sins of pride and envy. Its easy to get obsessed with one form of sin. It may not be the primary weakness you’re struggling with.