Curing My Hatred

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Baguette

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Hello there, I’ve been having this problem since childhood. I’ve always had a hatred towards east asian culture, particularly Chinese & Japanese culture. I don’t know the root of these feelings, I know I have to identify them in order to get rid of them.
I have no idea what should I do in order to get rid of these feelings. I acknowledged that these feelings are bad and with all my will I suppress and not let these feelings conquer and corrupt me. On the irony, I am actually 100% of Chinese descent.
What should I do?
 
Trained therapist.

Strictly speaking, “unfounded” hatred is a red flag for previous neglect or abuse. These can be things that you only face subconsciously or things that you actively despise. For instance, the “Tiger Mom” culture or other things accptable in Chinese/Japanese culture that are considered highly abusive in Western Culture (and rightly so).
 
Well my parents aren’t treating me in such way. My mom is really strict though, but I never associated her strictness with those “Tiger Mom” culture. I’ve seen some therapist (psychologist and psychiatrist) before they didn’t really helped much to me… They only talk to me, make me feel better for a few moments, and after months or years these feelings keeps returning.
I don’t hate my family, but I also don’t get along with them except with my dad.
I’ve meet a local priest who’ve been dealing with problematic teens as his specialty. He told me to communicate all of my feelings to Jesus. Will talking ,with Jesus helps me solve my problem? Will Jesus himself lead me and show me where did I get so wrong? I kinda doubt that such thing will happen. I hope I’m wrong though.
 
I’m pretty much fine with them. I didn’t hate any of the individual because they come from the culture that I dislike.
 
If you do not treat these people differently, I don’t think the problem is that huge imo.

Have you tried pin pointing a certain aspect of the culture and then reading up about it? How overwhelming is this hate? What kind of thoughts do you have?
 
Baguette said:
Well my parents aren’t treating me in such way. My mom is really strict though, but I never associated her strictness with those “Tiger Mom” culture. I’ve seen some therapist (psychologist and psychiatrist) before they didn’t really helped much to me… They only talk to me, make me feel better for a few moments, and after months or years these feelings keeps returning.
I don’t hate my family, but I also don’t get along with them except with my dad.
I’ve meet a local priest who’ve been dealing with problematic teens as his specialty. He told me to communicate all of my feelings to Jesus. Will talking ,with Jesus helps me solve my problem? Will Jesus himself lead me and show me where did I get so wrong? I kinda doubt that such thing will happen. I hope I’m wrong though.
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Given the therapist offered you some relief, albeit temporary, it’s best that you continue.

Seeing a priest is also good, perhaps you can work through some of those feelings.

Conrad Baars is a (now deceased) Catholic Psychologist. His work was amazing and he worked within the church to further Psycology.

This book may be helpful to you, since you seem to be at the mercy of your emotions and do struggle with some parental issues.

https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Healing-Emotions-Conrad-Baars/dp/0882709666
 
I agree that if a therapist can be helpful, to continue bringing this up with a good one.

I also wanted to mention that, depending on what your feelings center on, it might not be a bad thing to dislike certain aspects of a particular culture while, in order to gain balance, appreciating what is good.

For example, if you dislike, say, the fact that the Japanese are expected culturally to work totally unreasonable amounts of overtime while never being able to afford a home despite all that overtime? Well, that’s hardly unreasonable! Ditto a dislike of the culture associated with a lot of the adult manga. Or, from a taste perspective, maybe sushi or ramen isn’t your thing. Also totally fine!

If, on the other hand, you have an immediate, visceral “I hate everything about this person and their country” response to seeing a Japanese person walk past you on the street, well, that is a problem, and I recommend you take it to both a therapist and Christ in adoration. FWIW, I have a similar reaction to a particular political/social/religious movement that I spent a lot of time in, to the point that I immediately think horrible things about someone if I find out that they’re a part of this group. I know intellectually that that isn’t fair and that there are a lot of good people in that group, but my experiences with it were such that I still react that way emotionally. Well, emotions aren’t a sin, unless you encourage bad ones, so I try to take the hurt, pain, and anger that I feel at that group to Jesus and say “this is less about them than about me. I’m hurting a lot right now because of those experiences, and I’m reacting unreasonably to Person’s Name. Help me to react with kindness and love instead.”
 
It has something to do with their philosophy. Thoughts such as daoism really ticks me off.
I hope you know that these east asian society runs on norms and traditions. The worst thing for me is, you have no right to question it.
Accept it or else you will become an outcast.
 
I mostly dislike the Japanese culture due to how xenophobic they are. Westerner are treated like aliens and other east asian people are treated like subhuman.
The discrimination in Japan is still strong to this date, what makes me more pissed off is how their goverment even denies how they have no such problem. Their pop culture also ticks me off, the ammount of people corrupted by their cartoons (its called anime there) are horrendous.
The one targeted for the youngs are extremely cringy. The characters talk in such way that no real people would talk normally. Now you would think, what is the problem with this?
Well since Japan export their culture so much, more young people are affected by it. They get so attached with it that they lost their grip on reality and act like those cartoon characters and began to think Japan is a fun and magical place. Next is how they treat religion, they treat every single religion like a fairy tale.
The worst I can get into thinking about them is that I wish that their nation would collapse one day and their culture became history. What makes me happy is that their nation is currently heading there with the aging of the population and their debt/gdp ratio that creates an economic crisis time bomb.
I know such thoughts are evil, and I won’t indulge myself in it. I know out there , there are some Japanese person that are nice and welcoming. I know there exist a Japanese person that is also a devout Catholic. But for the time being, I’m stuck in this limbo of feelings. I haven’t find my peace, the peace I’ve found are just temporary.
 
Baguette said:
I mostly dislike the Japanese culture due to how xenophobic they are. Westerner are treated like aliens and other east asian people are treated like subhuman.
The discrimination in Japan is still strong to this date, what makes me more pissed off is how their goverment even denies how they have no such problem. Their pop culture also ticks me off, the ammount of people corrupted by their cartoons (its called anime there) are horrendous.
The one targeted for the youngs are extremely cringy. The characters talk in such way that no real people would talk normally. Now you would think, what is the problem with this?
Well since Japan export their culture so much, more young people are affected by it. They get so attached with it that they lost their grip on reality and act like those cartoon characters and began to think Japan is a fun and magical place. Next is how they treat religion, they treat every single religion like a fairy tale.
The worst I can get into thinking about them is that I wish that their nation would collapse one day and their culture became history. What makes me happy is that their nation is currently heading there with the aging of the population and their debt/gdp ratio that creates an economic crisis time bomb.
I know such thoughts are evil, and I won’t indulge myself in it. I know out there , there are some Japanese person that are nice and welcoming. I know there exist a Japanese person that is also a devout Catholic. But for the time being, I’m stuck in this limbo of feelings. I haven’t find my peace, the peace I’ve found are just temporary.
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🤨

I think your perception is a bit off. I watch several Youtubers from Japan, including “Life where I’m from”. They are secular and certainly don’t go worshiping every tree. Yet they are still respectful of the religion of others, far more so than atheistic Americans, that’s for sure

Also, while there are truly evil types of Anime, it’s one of the things that my husband and I can still watch and not be wary or scandalized by things. You have to pick and choose, but shows like “Restaurant to another world” are really really, good, clean shows that adults can enjoy.

One cannot say that for 99.9% of American cartoons which run from mind-numbingly banal children’s mind-crack to disgusting hyper-sexualized anti-Catholic festering cesspools of bad behavior. So Japan really does have an advantage in that respect.

You might want to perhaps expose yourself to some “good” Japanese culture as well as the bad. If one focused on the negative of American culture, they could come up with a much more detailed and discouraging list.
 
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I know there are the good side of each culture, but there are some culture that I just can’t accept because of sheer incompatibility. The ideals of their culture clash with mine, and I can’t just seem to ward my perception about it. Japanese people respects religion ,really? I’ve heard from a lot of westerners who went there as expats that they’re one of the most two faced people. Religion is treated like a story there, faith is non existent and everything they do is just ceremonial.
I’m pretty sure you’re familiar with the saying “a Japanese is born a Shinto, Married as a Christian, and died as a Buddhist.”
Their difference with those atheistic Americans, is that they keep their mouth shut while their American counterpart needs to justify their feelings by attacking the faith of others.
Perhaps I’ve been exposed too much to the bad side of their culture and I can’t seem to get it off permanently. I know within myself that some Americans are worst than the Japanese, but I can’t seem to get the hate off permanently, it always returns…
I can’t get it off like how I clean a dirty plate, I am stuck with these feelings. Perhaps I should see a priest that is a spiritual therapist, but I can’t seem to find one where I live. What do you think I should do?
 
I think I know why I have this hate. Because all of the saints I know that were from Japan or China are executed by their own people. Such actions really fuel the fire in my hatred.
 
Baguette said:
I know there are the good side of each culture, but there are some culture that I just can’t accept because of sheer incompatibility. The ideals of their culture clash with mine, and I can’t just seem to ward my perception about it. Japanese people respects religion ,really? I’ve heard from a lot of westerners who went there as expats that they’re one of the most two faced people. Religion is treated like a story there, faith is non existent and everything they do is just ceremonial.
I’m pretty sure you’re familiar with the saying “a Japanese is born a Shinto, Married as a Christian, and died as a Buddhist.”
Their difference with those atheistic Americans, is that they keep their mouth shut while their American counterpart needs to justify their feelings by attacking the faith of others.
Perhaps I’ve been exposed too much to the bad side of their culture and I can’t seem to get it off permanently. I know within myself that some Americans are worst than the Japanese, but I can’t seem to get the hate off permanently, it always returns…
I can’t get it off like how I clean a dirty plate, I am stuck with these feelings. Perhaps I should see a priest that is a spiritual therapist, but I can’t seem to find one where I live. What do you think I should do?
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Work with a professional, anyone that you can find.

Your statements really don’t make sense. Your generalizations are totally skewed.

I take it you’re quite young. Working with Atheists in America is quite the trying experience. They don’t just treat you like you believe a fairy tale but as if you’re stupid or ignorant or even dangerous. It’s not uncommon to be treated badly.

You are very focused on how bad Japaneese and other Asan cultures are. I’m sure you know more about them than I do. But I think you are blind to the good of those cultures. Elderly in American are treated HORRIBLY there have been many cases of them dying or being abused because no one loves them. Elderly in Japan are given the utmost respect, even in care home when their family abandons them. One can leave a coat on a chair or a laptop on a table in Japan to reserve a seat. In the US one is more likely to be stolen from. They also tend to treat children much better and the children are WAY more responsible than in America. They have some things in their culture which I can only dream of in America.

Yes, there are bad things about every culture, but as you recognize your fixation on the negative is not healthy.

Professional help will change things. It may take a while, and at first the relief may only be measured in minutes or hours, but eventually it will last from hours into days and from days into weeks. It’s a process. You can’t undo years of negative thoughts with a few hours of work.
 
Pretty much I can’t argue with what you said about working with atheists, since the most vocal one are really rabid and into discrimination.
As with getting professional help, I’ll try to find one, even if it will take years.
Thanks though, for giving me suggestions, even though I’m still not yet cured.
 
I don’t like their culture, I’m fine with the people, heck even I am actually of Asian descent.
 
The same holds true for a vast majority of martyrs.

You know that you cannot love God and hate your brother. Hatred is the sin of pride. Do you confess this hatred to your priest? Frequent confession is vital to eliminating deeply ingrained sins.
 
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