Reputation matters online as well. Say you have a poster here who does lots of nice apologetics work. Gossip about them could harm their reputation here, trashing the respect they have earned, thus diminishing their ability to do good work for apologetics. It could be that they were in a discussion with an atheist who was actually listening to them, but with the reputation knock, the atheist suddenly sees the whole conversation as bogus. Somebody besides the gossipers did get harmed. Or what if through a reputation knock, someone loses a online friend or loses the ability to form them so easily? For some people, a place like this might represent a real source of friendships.
Well, I couldn’t agree with that part more, since that also happened to me - and to boot, within a parish, and it was all lies – every word of it - and it was engineered by (unbelievably) the lay Director of Faith Formation, who told lies to the pastor (who unfortunately believed her). I surely know about unjustly destroyed reputations.
)God looks at the heart. What is the purpose behind discussing someone else’s fault?
Oh, I’d forgotten that you were the poster who had that awful situation with the lies at your parish! :doh2:Well, I couldn’t agree with that part more, since that also happened to me - and to boot, within a parish, and it was all lies – every word of it - and it was engineered by (unbelievably) the lay Director of Faith Formation, who told lies to the pastor (who unfortunately believed her). I surely know about unjustly destroyed reputations.
Perhaps I wasn’t clear in my initial response. I was limiting the hypothetical situation to private message gossip (again, this has zero to do with CAF; I’m thinking of other forums, many of which are way more hotly debated than this one, if that’s possible.
Assuming two private messagers clearly feel the same way about a poster whose identity they do not know, nor are they in a position to have it revealed, it would seem that the greatest harm would be the practice of destructiveness between the two of them, if it went no further than the two of them. It is still far off the mark from 'building up whatever is right, whatever is holy, whatever is good, whatever is just," etc., but there is no direct affect on the object of gossip in question, as his or her reputation would presumably never be touched since he or she cannot be identified IRL.
I just don’t think about PM much. I agree with you that indulging in idle talk about someone on PM just to gossip would be destructive or time-wasting for the two people doing the PMing. It would likely only be venial, since no detraction or calumny are involved, as you specified, and I assume no malice. But a gossip session might lead to those two sins. I’ve always found it difficult to distinguish gossip from just getting feedback. Sometimes it might help to discuss in PM some situation that was happening on the boards. Getting feedback or support from another is a constructive exercise in community, and is not idle.
) Like the emoticon, too.
What possible good could come from bashing others, whether they are anonymous or not? These kinds of behaviors can become habitual, and before you know it you will find yourself saying nasty things about people whose identities are known. Best to avoid developing bad habits, eh?
Haha, umm…yes?
*Quite a bargain of advice for two cents.If a person is speaking negatively or disparagingly about another poster, yes that’s gossip, in my eyes. There is a person on the other side of the computer, so while we’re anonymous, it can still hurt a person’s dignity, as he/she cannot defend themselves against the accusation.
I also think that it causes a pattern to start within us. If we gossip on here about other posters…then, it will be easier to take that offline, and start gossiping about people in our offline lives. Like, if we are struggling to stop gossiping, in general–yet we do so on here–we are not fully breaking the habit.
Just my two cents.
I think your second paragraph may be the most important point, because I suspect that people who are accustomed to behind-the-scenes cyber gossip also have that habit IRL, so at the very least it’s a conscious occasion of sin if deliberately pursued. For many people, gossip is “addictive” in the sense that it is a habitual practice or reaction, and also in the sense that gossip “takes off” and perpetuates. Like other addictions, it also temporarily satisfies a pleasure-need and is difficult to stop because of the reinforcement of the pleasure.In real life as well, people often gossip about other people they have never seen. (“They’ve hired a new principal; I hear that he/she is really _______________,” etc.)
That all depends on the subject and if the conversation is a leading question pertaining to the subject. Some times we say thing’s in order to get the information we need from another.I e-mail and ask questions about my husband and I utalize the answers to see where I am going in my marraige. I think it can be healthy and I have not had it come back in my face, and I dont think it ever will. There are reasons behind my statement. I would not mean mouth my husband on a forum, or realy to anyone but I do ask questions and I am confordent in the person I am relating to, because there is a trust there.