"Cybering"

[scameter18]

Just as a warning, this topic is sexual and may have adult content.

I play a game online that involves roleplaying as a fictitious character within that game, as many MMORPGs do, like World of Warcraft, Star Wars Galaxies, etc. Sometimes in that roleplay, my character may develop a romantic relationship with another character, and this can lead to sex. Many people to whom this roleplay happens do “fade to black”, which means they say it happened, but do not “rp it out”, meaning they do not use emotes to convey the specific sexual actions. But some do so, which is usually in slang called “cybering”, but is in fact sexual roleplay within the larger roleplay of character interactions.

My question is, if in that game I encounter romantic roleplay and sex becomes the next step in that roleplay, what should I do? Sometimes I have used fade to black, but I have most often used specific sexual emotes to describe the actions of my character. Should I completely avoid using sexual emotes for that roleplay? I do not gain real-life sexual satisfaction from the cybering; to me, it is purely roleplay, as a necessary extension of the romantic relationship within the roleplay. But, should I avoid it anyways? Would I be morally culpable, and would it be a sin, for me to cyber as I have described it?

This is very important to me, so any help would be deeply appreciated.

 

[flyingfish]

Just as a warning, this topic is sexual and may have adult content.

My question is, if in that game I encounter romantic roleplay and sex becomes the next step in that roleplay, what should I do? Sometimes I have used fade to black, but I have most often used specific sexual emotes to describe the actions of my character. Should I completely avoid using sexual emotes for that roleplay? I do not gain real-life sexual satisfaction from the cybering; to me, it is purely roleplay, as a necessary extension of the romantic relationship within the roleplay. But, should I avoid it anyways? Would I be morally culpable, and would it be a sin, for me to cyber as I have described it?

This is very important to me, so any help would be deeply appreciated.

How important is it to you to type out the emotes as opposed to “fade to black”?

 

[scameter18]

Well, it doesn’t matter at all to me. But the person I am roleplaying with may wish to use emotes.

 

[flyingfish]

Well, it doesn’t matter at all to me. But the person I am roleplaying with may wish to use emotes.

My guess is that Catholic teaching is that this kind of thing would be venially sinful. Serious sexual indiscretions like premaritial sex for example would obviously be a grave sin, but making your computer game character have sex probably doesn’t rise to the extent of a mortal sin. I am not 100% sure though, maybe read the Catechism to see if it says exactly what is venial and what is mortal.

I mean, if you were to write a novel that had a sex scene I don’t think it would be sinful, but then if you were to write an erotic story meant for people to masturbate to it would be.

 

[hellopeople]

Just as a warning, this topic is sexual and may have adult content.

I play a game online that involves roleplaying as a fictitious character within that game, as many MMORPGs do, like World of Warcraft, Star Wars Galaxies, etc. Sometimes in that roleplay, my character may develop a romantic relationship with another character, and this can lead to sex. Many people to whom this roleplay happens do “fade to black”, which means they say it happened, but do not “rp it out”, meaning they do not use emotes to convey the specific sexual actions. But some do so, which is usually in slang called “cybering”, but is in fact sexual roleplay within the larger roleplay of character interactions.

My question is, if in that game I encounter romantic roleplay and sex becomes the next step in that roleplay, what should I do? Sometimes I have used fade to black, but I have most often used specific sexual emotes to describe the actions of my character. Should I completely avoid using sexual emotes for that roleplay? I do not gain real-life sexual satisfaction from the cybering; to me, it is purely roleplay, as a necessary extension of the romantic relationship within the roleplay. But, should I avoid it anyways? Would I be morally culpable, and would it be a sin, for me to cyber as I have described it?

This is very important to me, so any help would be deeply appreciated.

I would say avoid it. I can’t help but imagine it would lead to lust. I am sure that there are some people that could be completely removed from the sexual element of it, but I would imagine most people lust from it…if nothing else you should avoid it because you are better safe than sorry.

 

[scameter18]

I would say avoid it. I can’t help but imagine it would lead to lust. I am sure that there are some people that could be completely removed from the sexual element of it, but I would imagine most people lust from it…if nothing else you should avoid it because you are better safe than sorry.

Thank you.

The main reason this is a big deal to me is because I am close friends out of character with one of the people my character is in a relationship with, and though I feel I have as you say completely removed myself from the sexual lust possibility from our cybering, I think if I told her I wouldn’t cyber anymore, she may stop roleplaying with me. Which I would like to avoid. But, I don’t want to sin… So, that’s why I’m trying to figure out if it is wrong for me to do it with her in roleplay.

 

[hellopeople]

Thank you.

The main reason this is a big deal to me is because I am close friends out of character with one of the people my character is in a relationship with, and though I feel I have as you say completely removed myself from the sexual lust possibility from our cybering, I think if I told her I wouldn’t cyber anymore, she may stop roleplaying with me. Which I would like to avoid. But, I don’t want to sin… So, that’s why I’m trying to figure out if it is wrong for me to do it with her in roleplay.

Another thing you could think about is if you yourself are not lusting, it is extremely possible that you are causing others to lust. Leading others into sin is as bad as sinning yourself. I would say black out for sure.

 

[scameter18]

Thank you for your help.

 

[mjs1987]

Remember the other gamers. You do not know how they are viewing the online cybering and sex. They might be using it for more than just gaming. I know I would feel guilty if my actions contributed to someone else committing a mortal sin and risking their immortal soul.

 

[nablaise]

I don’t play cyber games. But I think this could be a good opportunity to evangelize as well practice virtue.
How about making a ‘catholic life’ game. And do things only if they are catholically ok. For example ‘no sex’ before marriage. May be if you manage to fictionnally fall in love with an other character in such conditions that you look forward to marriage, then you can get married and procceed to have childreen. I think this would not be a sin.

However, I generally think most games involves killings and this is already a venial sin. I think gaming is practising something…and one eventually develop an attachement to it. So we have a duty to watch out things that involve ‘repetition’ because this is actually ‘practiding’.

God bless

 

[scameter18]

Most roleplay in RPG games is simply acting, so for example roleplaying as a villain who kills people is no different than acting as Hitler in a play or movie. It is fake, so there is no culpability. Especially as long as the actor makes it clear he doesn’t approve of the actions of his or her character, and as long as it does not tempt others to sin. This is why I think cybering is wrong, because it tempts others to sin. I am certain of this, both because they have told me they sin when they cyber, and before I converted to Catholicism, I cybered specifically with the intention of sinning, i.e. masturbation. So, though this was a very difficult choice for me because I risked losing a close friend on my RPG game, I would rather do what is right and follow God’s will, even if it means giving something up that I value. And, as mjs1987 said, I do not wish to be the cause of the other person sinning. If she sins on her own, I cannot force her to stop, and she knows that I believe masturbation is a sin. But I will not be her temptation.

I am thankful to God for giving me this opportunity to practice love and moral devotion. It was difficult and sacrificial, but I feel a deep, spiritual satisfaction knowing I did God’s will despite my own desires - and God’s will is truly what is important.

 

[Shadark]

Mate, if you are role-playing sexual escapades with a female friend, then I dare say she quite likes you…

Perhaps you should ask her out on a date?

 

[JimG]

Mate, if you are role-playing sexual escapades with a female friend, then I dare say she quite likes you…

Perhaps you should ask her out on a date?

Real life? What a concept!

 

[scameter18]

Sure, I’ll go borrow money and move to Norway.

 

[Shadark]

Real life? What a concept!

rofl

scameter18:

Sure, I’ll go borrow money and move to Norway.

Fjords, snow, saunas, hot woman, nude beaches, I could imagine worse things…I would go buy that ticket!

 

[BLeev]

Are you opposed to stop playing games that go there?

Even though it is just a game it still leads your imagination to what is happening in that game - regardless if you get anything from it or not. Even though you know this stuff is not real you are taking part in it by using emotes. I say you use the same rules for anything that leads down this road, whether it is a TV show, movie, any other distraction that could be a near occasion of sin - get away from them. I would say that there is a sin involved because you are not just playing a game but you are simulating (albeit on the computer) a sexual act or sexual affection, things that should not be shared with others even if it is only in a game. Sex is sacred and holy (as I am sure you know) and so playing a game that uses that as part of it definitely has some issues.

 

[scameter18]

I have been thinking about this issue for a long time, as it is very important to me. A sin is only a mortal if the motivations, the intention is sinful, and my intentions are not. If I tried to avoid anything that might possibly tempt someone to sin, I would have to kill myself - if that. I mean, for example, nuns wear alot of clothing to cover themselves, but some people actually have a sexual fetish for nuns - so they’re tempting people to lust. Is that a sin? Of course not! They’re not doing it on purpose. It’s the other person’s fault. Like I said, a sin is only mortal if done on purpose. But, whether me cybering with the intentions I listed before are a grave matter and possibly a venial sin, I don’t think so. It isn’t real, and the other person specifically knows I am not specifically approving of anything I do in character. For example, if I cyber, have a homosexual relationship, or roleplay as a villain, I do not necessarily approve of any of those out of character - but that doesn’t mean to do them in roleplay is sinful. It’s fake; no different than acting. But, it is actually not as bad. If someone acts a sex scene in a movie, it’s pornography. But this isn’t even real people; it’s just images with words for emotes.

So, as far as I can rationally tell right now, this isn’t a sin. Now, yes, I know that the other person might masturbate - might. I can’t be certain of that, and she knows that I believe masturbation is wrong, so I’m not giving her approval for that. It is her choice, but she knows my personal intentions for the cybering - to have greater roleplay intimacy and accuracy - and her friendship towards me has been tested, because even after I stopped cybering with her, she continued being my friend and wanting to roleplay a relationship with me. So, she’s not just doing it for the cyber. I don’t lust or masturbate from this, so I am exempt from personal sin, and my intent is not to make her lust or sin in any way. So, as I said I see no sin here. If anyone thinks otherwise, please tell me.

 

[baltobetsy]

The fact that you are so anxious to justify this activity says a couple of things to me.

First, that you are not completely convinced it is not sinful in some way.

Second, that you might be too attached to the activity. Is it part of your livelihood, or a leisure-time activity for you? Why is it so important to you?

Betsy

 

[CFXDrummer]

Well, for starters, you said it well yourself – you’re just playing a role, and that’s it. My World of Warcraft character is a stark raving mad racist… I don’t commit any sin by hating Trolls or Orcs just because of their race, no more than you commit a sin by playing a character who has sex with his significant other.

But just like there are tasteful sex scenes and untasteful sex scenes in movies, there’s also a boundary of taste when it comes to your character’s sexuality. Just stick with the fade to back – once you’re sitting there typing out all the details of sexual intercourse, you’re just in weird territory. It adds nothing to your character development, it has the potential of leading your partner into sin (way too many people actually think a Draenei and a Night Elf on top of each other is the hottest thing ever… gross), and, if nothing else, you’re lumping yourself into the category of “ERPers” which will just get you made fun of in the long run.

Sure you’re not committing a sin youself, but if your RP partner is really going to be OOC’ly upset with you that you won’t RP out your IC sex, then you’re better off cutting them off anyway, because they’ve got some SERIOUS over-immersion issues.

So take the advice of a long-time WoW RPer… Just don’t do it. It might not be sinful, but it’s definitely not a good idea.

 

[scameter18]

The fact that you are so anxious to justify this activity says a couple of things to me.

First, that you are not completely convinced it is not sinful in some way.

Second, that you might be too attached to the activity. Is it part of your livelihood, or a leisure-time activity for you? Why is it so important to you?

Betsy

Well, it is a difficult issue. Just like many ancient Christians had a hard time thinking sex was permissable at all. Sex is a difficult issue in general. It has taken a long time for people to understand it better. Even St. Augustine and Origen could make errors about it. And sin is one of the biggest aspects of human life. I’m anxious about it because I don’t want to sin, or cause them to sin. But for the reasons I described before, if it is not a sin, I will do it for better roleplay immersion. Some think it is odd yes; as do some people think roleplaying an evil character is weird. But if it isn’t a sin, then it’s a matter of preference, and is thus my choice.