I think there’s a few important things to think about here that can help us, because it is a difficult subject and forgiveness can be hard thing to do. It is easy to talk about when we are not in a situation of being wronged ourselves, but when we experience injustice first hand, it is different.
- We must not envy the wicked. It is so easy to fall into an attitude where we perceive a sinful lifestyle as though a person were getting away with something. As though a person who lived a sinful life and then repented on their deathbed got to enjoy things that a holy person did not. This isn’t true. Although sin - like a soft drink - can offer a rush of pleasure and energy, it is not a sustaining pleasure that offers true joy.
One gifted Catholic speaker described the distinction between pleasure and joy. Pleasure ceases as soon as the activity producing it ceases. For example, eating a pizza is pleasurable, but it ceases to be pleasurable once the pizza is consumed. Joy is something that is lasting: it penetrates & consolidates us even during moments of suffering.
So, in the case of men who commit crimes against women, either as harassment or as more atrocious rape, they are not in truth getting away with anything. Without an interior conversion, a toy is the best thing they will know a woman as. They will never understand her deeper beauty or her likeness to God. They will be deprived of that intimacy forever. They are like a dog listening to Mozart: the beauty escapes them and they are unable to discern it. To an animal, it is just noise.
- Purgatory. The forgiveness of sins is not a remission of temporary consequences & removal of impurities.
- Hell. When we contemplate hell, and its endless magnitude, even terrible crimes like rape and murder ought to leave us cold and move us towards prayer for those in most need of God’s mercy… God will continue to plea with a soul until that final decision is made. He does the same thing for us.