Dad cheating..please help

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taylort771

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I know my dad is cheating on my mom, but not in the traditional sense. He is paying a whore to dominate him. She has a website, uses paypal etc. It is quite frankly disgusting and i think this changes the typical cheating scenario as there is not someone who could replace my mother. I’m 21 years old and my dad has 6 other kids and a wife of 23 years that he is the sole provider for. I don’t want to jeopardize our family by confronting him, but i also feel the need to try and put a stop to him wasting money on whores that the family needs. Do I confront him? Tell my Mom? Tell my 20 year old brother?. help…
 
I am very sorry to hear you are facing this situation. This would be difficult for anyone to handle.

My advice, before doing anything, Pray. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. Ask our Blessed Mother to intercede for you. This situation does not seem to demand immediate attention. I know this is a heavy burden; but, I wouldn’t involve your brother if you can avoid it. Take your time and possibly discuss with your priest.

Last of all Pray for your Father. We all face demons at different points in our lives and I’m sure he could use your sincere prayers.

God Bless You, Your Father and your Family.
 
taylort771 said:
I know my dad is cheating on my mom, but not in the traditional sense. He is paying a whore to dominate him. She has a website, uses paypal etc. It is quite frankly disgusting and i think this changes the typical cheating scenario as there is not someone who could replace my mother. I’m 21 years old and my dad has 6 other kids and a wife of 23 years that he is the sole provider for. I don’t want to jeopardize our family by confronting him, but i also feel the need to try and put a stop to him wasting money on whores that the family needs. Do I confront him? Tell my Mom? Tell my 20 year old brother?. help…
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Is he actually meeting with this other woman? If so, it is imperative that your mother find out so that she can be guarded from potential STDs. This is going to disrupt your family, but no more so than allowing him to live a lie and potentially infect your mother. Later, if the truth is ever revealed and it is discovered that you knew and did nothing to protect her she will feel doubly betrayed.

At this moment, the betrayal has happened. It is too late to pretend otherwise. Discuss it with your mother and then be a strong support for her. It is up to her to decide how best to proceed from there. It is unfortunate that your father chose this strategy, but this is not your fault. Please proceed with all due haste. Good luck.
 
Let it be for now. It may resolve itself. There is such a thing as middle age crisis for men. You have my prayers.
 
If it was me I wouldn’t tell the mother anything yet. I would pray and then confront the father. I wouldn’t show anger but talk to him making him know that he must stop right away before he destroys the family. Of he stops no need to tell your mother anything. I would also maybe ask a priest and see what he will say he might say the same thing not to tell the mother.
 
This may be a situation where you pretend to be naïve. You can tell him this really horrible x rated website somehow got on the computer’s history and ask him how to get it off and block it so your brothers and sisters don’t see it.

The embarrassment of this without directly accusing may be enough to make him stop. He also knows you are not stupid, so it will make him think…
 
How did you find out?

I think if it were me I’d probably tell him that I know about it and not say anything more. I’d just let it percolate in his mind and hope that it was a wake-up call.
 
First, I am praying for you as you have received quite a blow in realizing what is happening both to your father and to your family. Secondly, since you are an adult, I would advise you to arrange a meeting with your father away from the household in a private setting. If you have been at all close with Dad, this will be easy enough to arrange. if not, it may be problematic. would bring up the subject of your awareness of certain inappropriate and dangerous behavior of a sexual nature that could be devastating to your mother and siblings. let him know that you are discussing this with him only and ask him to meet with a priest to sort this out, confess and get help. You concern for his welfare is the reason you are bringing up the subject. If you know, how long will it be before his family in general becomes aware and destroys his life as he knows it. Do what you have to do for yourself during this process and may God be with you.
 
mommy_k said:
This may be a situation where you pretend to be naïve. You can tell him this really horrible x rated website somehow got on the computer’s history and ask him how to get it off and block it so your brothers and sisters don’t see it.
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That is exactly what I would do in her case.
 
If there is physical sex happening, then the mother needs to be notified ASAP. As her life could be in danger. Period.
 
This is for E 7. There is actually a condition called middle age crisis for men. It is not the same as for women who are undergoing changes in the body as well as mental state due to hormonal changes. For men it is more of a change in their perceived manhood/mental status. It is up to you to look it up.
 
I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

I would do what a previous poster said about pretending you ran across the website in the browser history and you think it’s a virus or something. That’s about all you can do.

Also, you might want to consider counseling. This is a heavy burden, but unfortunately, I don’t think you should share it if you can help it. Counseling might help you talk it out without putting the burden on other family members.

Again, I’m sorry you have to deal with this.
 
Mary_Estelle said:
This is for E 7. There is actually a condition called middle age crisis for men. It is not the same as for women who are undergoing changes in the body as well as mental state due to hormonal changes. For men it is more of a change in their perceived manhood/mental status. It is up to you to look it up.
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Scapegoat psychobabble dribble. Sin is sin.
 
Used2beSherryG said:
First, I am praying for you as you have received quite a blow in realizing what is happening both to your father and to your family. Secondly, since you are an adult, I would advise you to arrange a meeting with your father away from the household in a private setting. If you have been at all close with Dad, this will be easy enough to arrange. if not, it may be problematic. would bring up the subject of your awareness of certain inappropriate and dangerous behavior of a sexual nature that could be devastating to your mother and siblings. let him know that you are discussing this with him only and ask him to meet with a priest to sort this out, confess and get help. You concern for his welfare is the reason you are bringing up the subject. If you know, how long will it be before his family in general becomes aware and destroys his life as he knows it. Do what you have to do for yourself during this process and may God be with you.
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👍

Talk to your priest, set up meeting with dad and priest or dad, priest and you.
 
Your mother deserves to know. I think that most people would prefer to know if their spouse was cheating on them. If her family keeps this from her then I think that it shows a lack of respect for her and for her ability to deal with the information.
 
Casilda-I never said it wasn’t a sin, however, often sin has deeper roots that we do not regognize. I forgive you for your insults. Peace
 
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