Dad not exepting Engagement

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My fiancee asked for permission this last April that we get married next August. My dad agreed because I would only be going to school for about 9 months after we were married. THen of course he asked permission again when he planned on actually proposing to me, and again my father said ok. My dad is doing better now, I think there were some outside factors (work, money) that were affecting him. He and my fiance are getting along like they used to (it’s funny how college football can bring guys together 🙂 ) I also think my mom might have told him how he was hurting my feelings, I’;m not sure tho. Anyways, thanks for all the advice, if it becomes an issue again I will try some of the things you suggested!
 
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migurl:
My fiancee asked for permission this last April that we get married next August. My dad agreed because I would only be going to school for about 9 months after we were married. THen of course he asked permission again when he planned on actually proposing to me, and again my father said ok. My dad is doing better now, I think there were some outside factors (work, money) that were affecting him. He and my fiance are getting along like they used to (it’s funny how college football can bring guys together 🙂 ) I also think my mom might have told him how he was hurting my feelings, I’;m not sure tho. Anyways, thanks for all the advice, if it becomes an issue again I will try some of the things you suggested!
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Parents can experience a myriad of emotions when it comes to a child getting married. He may be accepting of the idea of you getting married but be overwhelmed with everything that goes into planning a wedding. Or, it could be like you deduced - other things factoring in and added stress. You just be the best darn daughter you can be, prepare for your future marriage and make Christ the center of your life. All will be well. Congrats!
 
When I first got engaged, I would babble to anyone who would listen about wedding plans.

When I started gushing to my sister, I noticed my dad looking very distressed. I could tell he was upset about the conversation, because his baby girl is leaving.

He loves my fiance and is so happy for me, but we don’t talk much about wedding plans. I know he doesn’t want me to see him cry. Not to worry, though, we’ll all be boo-hooing full force as we walk down the aisle.

Maybe your dad is just trying to put on the “man” face and not get too emotional even if that isn’t his normal demeanor to be sensitive like that.
 
OK, now you’ve all got me crying thinking about the “Daddy’s Little Girl” dance at my own wedding. :crying: And that was over 8 years ago!! 🙂
 
Has anyone else in your immediate family married yet? Will you be moving away after the wedding?

I know as the oldest in my family and as the first to get married that it takes time for families, parents especially, to get used to the idea of change. When my husband asked my father for permission to marry me, we had already gone through alot of tension and were still under alot of unspoken and therefore unresolved issues related to just not knowing exactly how things would be changing. Sometimes, since men are not typically talkers, it just takes continued effort to communicate, and, more importantly, time, to get everyone used to the idea.

I will stop with the personal sharing soon, but just to give you hope, we have just celebrated our first wedding anniversary and are expecting our first baby in February or March. It took my parents until we announced our first pregnancy (a nearly-honeymoon baby that we lost to miscarriage only a few weeks after we announced the good news) to really adjust to the changes in family dynamics.

Also, it helped my dad very much to entrust him with the parts of wedding planning that he found enjoyable. In our case, we had an outdoor reception and he got to buy and assemble canopy tents and build massive picinic tables and benches to accomodate the nearly 500 guests…

I will pray for you. I remember what it is like to live under the tensions, and how awkward it makes just ordinary conversation. I know especially the grief of trying to console one you love who loses you in one sense as you are joined to the one you love for the rest of your lives.

May God bless you always and abundantly!
 
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