Daddy-Daughter problems: Boyfriends

[Mary_Gail_36]

When I was 17 I would tell my father: “Daddy you don’t trust me!”

His response would be, “I trust you. It’s the other people I no trust.” (with Sicilian accent)

be grateful that your father does allow you to spend time with your friend, albeit with your younger brother.

When my parents were engaged, they would watch TV on the couch, with my grandmother seated between them.

 

[thewanderer]

You mention in your post that you are saving yourself for marriage and he respects your position. But my question would be does he hold the same position?

Is he a Catholic committed to chastity and purity out of love for God? Or is he agreeing to you saving yourself for marriage while not particularly believing in it himself?

This makes a difference.

I definately agree with this. It is a lot easier to remain chaste if you are both 100% dedicated to chastity. This is especially important if you will have to wait a while before getting married.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

You mention in your post that you are saving yourself for marriage and he respects your position. But my question would be does he hold the same position?

Is he a Catholic committed to chastity and purity out of love for God? Or is he agreeing to you saving yourself for marriage while not particularly believing in it himself?

This makes a difference.

I also think this is an important question. For a couple of reasons:
–One, remaining a virgin is not the same as chastity. It is possible to avoid sex, but to still commit serious sexual sins, and to create a false sense of closeness based on those actions. Sexual activity, even the kind that never leads to the loss of your virginity, can have far-reaching effects on a person. It can affect you physically and emotionally for years. This is something that good Catholics don’t always understand, but it is even harder for others. It is possible that your father is feeling protective of not just your virginity, but your chastity.

–Two, a large difference in opinion on what sorts of activities are right or wrong, is likely to go along with a large difference of opinion on other issues of morality. Since the purpose of dating is to discern marriage, and since you have stated that you love him, one should assume that this is something that you and your boyfriend are considering. It is wonderful that he is respectful of you and willing to wait. But when a couple gets married, it is best for them to agree on the major moral issues - not just to agree to tolerate each other’s differences. Not agreeing can cause major difficulties in a marriage. It is possible that your father is thinking ahead in this way.

Forgetting about your father’s reaction, these are things to think about for yourself as you get older and start taking full responsibility for your decisions.

 

[AnneElizabeth]

OP, please listen to your father. I believe what he is doing is the best thing for you.

You may be feeling frustrated with me for saying that, but please know I was once 17 too. I understand that you feel you are old enough to be making certain decisions, but the truth is that you are quite young and while you have spoken with clarity about your wishes, your father still knows best. This is a great age- but it will only be great as long as you stay on a path of caution. Please heed my warning. Sometimes, even if the young girl has a good head on her shoulders, things can go wrong quickly.

One thing I wish my father or mother would have clearly conveyed to me was just how different men and women see things at that age. (EDIT: I should state on their behalf, that at least one of them tried to tell me, but I didn’t understand then.) 17 is a tender age. I thought I had it together too. I didn’t. Hindsight is 20/20.

So PLEASE, listen and obey your father. I have no doubts it is for your own good. Please listen to me- a 35 year old female- as I have your total wellbeing in concern.

You should hug and kiss him and thank your father for what he is doing. Some daughters are not as lucky to have such a caring father. I speak this from clarity from the other end of youth.

Best wishes.