D
DailyAdoration
Guest
Hi, I am a failed Catholic Seminarian of 1973.
I find it strange that I did not meet-Jesus until after the Seminary when I was desperate in the military. I walked into a tiny chapel before the Catholic Tabernacle and begged Jesus to come to me.
I closed my eyes and there he was before me. I saw him with my heart’s-eyes from 8 pm to 6 am. At 6 am I went to my duties and did not feel tired.
This went on for weeks and weeks until I got discharged from the military with an honorable discharge.
Even though my heart had seen Jesus in the military, when I went back to college I turned into a sinful college student with all the vices of college,
In 2000 I read the Diary of St Faustina. I was so affected that I went to our tiny Catholic Church, and just like in the military, I begged Jesus to come to me.
I knelt, closed my eyes and for eight hours a day, again, there Jesus was before the eyes of my heart…
I was so happy and joyful for my heart to see Jesus, again that I layed prostrate on the floor for 30 minutes each day.
Needless to say this caused quite a stir. I stay away from socializing since I am epileptic so I was able to keep the stir at a low level.
Now when I do Adoration, the parish the time from 9 am to noon as three hours reserved for Adoration. I am sorry to say that I am the only one usually for those three hours.
In the middle of this burst of Adoration, I asked Jesus how many hours I should do Adoration?
I distinctly heard, “I was only on the cross for three hours and not one second more.”
So I do Adoration ‘on-Golgotha’ with Holy Mary, the Holy Women, and St John for the three-hours that Jesus hung on the cross.
The Diary of St Faustina re-awakened the eyes-of-my-heart.
Jesus ‘convicted’ me that I had to begin doing weekly confession to attain santity.
In the diary of St Faustina I found the ‘terror’ of confession, terrpor on the first one and terror in weekly. confessions.
Confessing my many sins of many years was terrifying for me.
My first confession after thirty years.terrified me.
Since then I have followed Jesus’ advice to St Faustina and gone to weekly confession.
Weekly confession of even my smallest sins so that constant contrition protect my heart and Adoration puts the Sweet Presence of Jesus into my heart…
Slowly I have gained the graces to give up my repetitive sins as of December 2011, except for my repetitive anger.
I still have a problem with unpredictablel anger.
In all my ‘sanctity’ today coming back from Golgotha Adoration somebody kept honking behind me over and over and over and over and over and over with a very angry face.
I could not get out of his way and my car is a one-wheel-drive ‘putt-putt.’ ‘I was pedaling as fast as I could…’
In anger I flipped-him-the-bird and immediately felt contrite. I could not get out of his way for another block. Honk, Honk, Honk, Honk. He had to prove to me that he was in a hurry.
I finally turned off to let him go by me.
So in my weekly confession I have something more than feelings of excess pride over my Prayer Life.
No matter how many sins I avoid, one sin catches even the best, the worst of all sins, pride in my prayer life.
My prayer life is not mine, it is Jesus in me. Pride. The worst of all sins. Then like St Faustina, I dive into and drown in the abyss of Jesus’ Mercy.
I have had to study the nature of confession and even correct my priest with the Catechism of the Catholic Church as to what sins were mortal sins and venial.
St Faustina wrote that she had many bad confessors and she stated in her diary that you may have to train you confessor…
Since 2000 in my weekly confessions, I have had many confessors. One even told me that Adoration was a sin.
Hearing confessions has become a lost virtue.
Vatican II has been greatly misunderstood.
Weekly confession and Adoration of the Real Presence of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, the Rosary upon waking, upon 3 pm Divine Mercy hour, and upon going to sleep has given me the same peace and joy that I found in my military Adoration.
I find it strange that I did not meet-Jesus until after the Seminary when I was desperate in the military. I walked into a tiny chapel before the Catholic Tabernacle and begged Jesus to come to me.
I closed my eyes and there he was before me. I saw him with my heart’s-eyes from 8 pm to 6 am. At 6 am I went to my duties and did not feel tired.
This went on for weeks and weeks until I got discharged from the military with an honorable discharge.
Even though my heart had seen Jesus in the military, when I went back to college I turned into a sinful college student with all the vices of college,
In 2000 I read the Diary of St Faustina. I was so affected that I went to our tiny Catholic Church, and just like in the military, I begged Jesus to come to me.
I knelt, closed my eyes and for eight hours a day, again, there Jesus was before the eyes of my heart…
I was so happy and joyful for my heart to see Jesus, again that I layed prostrate on the floor for 30 minutes each day.
Needless to say this caused quite a stir. I stay away from socializing since I am epileptic so I was able to keep the stir at a low level.
Now when I do Adoration, the parish the time from 9 am to noon as three hours reserved for Adoration. I am sorry to say that I am the only one usually for those three hours.
In the middle of this burst of Adoration, I asked Jesus how many hours I should do Adoration?
I distinctly heard, “I was only on the cross for three hours and not one second more.”
So I do Adoration ‘on-Golgotha’ with Holy Mary, the Holy Women, and St John for the three-hours that Jesus hung on the cross.
The Diary of St Faustina re-awakened the eyes-of-my-heart.
Jesus ‘convicted’ me that I had to begin doing weekly confession to attain santity.
In the diary of St Faustina I found the ‘terror’ of confession, terrpor on the first one and terror in weekly. confessions.
Confessing my many sins of many years was terrifying for me.
My first confession after thirty years.terrified me.
Since then I have followed Jesus’ advice to St Faustina and gone to weekly confession.
Weekly confession of even my smallest sins so that constant contrition protect my heart and Adoration puts the Sweet Presence of Jesus into my heart…
Slowly I have gained the graces to give up my repetitive sins as of December 2011, except for my repetitive anger.
I still have a problem with unpredictablel anger.
In all my ‘sanctity’ today coming back from Golgotha Adoration somebody kept honking behind me over and over and over and over and over and over with a very angry face.
I could not get out of his way and my car is a one-wheel-drive ‘putt-putt.’ ‘I was pedaling as fast as I could…’
In anger I flipped-him-the-bird and immediately felt contrite. I could not get out of his way for another block. Honk, Honk, Honk, Honk. He had to prove to me that he was in a hurry.
I finally turned off to let him go by me.
So in my weekly confession I have something more than feelings of excess pride over my Prayer Life.
No matter how many sins I avoid, one sin catches even the best, the worst of all sins, pride in my prayer life.
My prayer life is not mine, it is Jesus in me. Pride. The worst of all sins. Then like St Faustina, I dive into and drown in the abyss of Jesus’ Mercy.
I have had to study the nature of confession and even correct my priest with the Catechism of the Catholic Church as to what sins were mortal sins and venial.
St Faustina wrote that she had many bad confessors and she stated in her diary that you may have to train you confessor…
Since 2000 in my weekly confessions, I have had many confessors. One even told me that Adoration was a sin.
Hearing confessions has become a lost virtue.
Vatican II has been greatly misunderstood.
Weekly confession and Adoration of the Real Presence of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, the Rosary upon waking, upon 3 pm Divine Mercy hour, and upon going to sleep has given me the same peace and joy that I found in my military Adoration.