Quoting NCJohn
This line from the Jan 2 Word Among Us meditation really jumped out at me. I’m not sure if this thread is really the place for posting responses but I didn’t see anyplace else so I’ll try this here.
Hi John…great to catch up with you again and a very happy 2008 to you and yours. It probably would be better to post into a separate thread starting a new thread up in this Spirituality Forum, but no matter!
I have gone through this often where I get discouraged because I feel called to do something and then either fail miserably at it or feel like I’m getting stoned for doing what I thought I was called to do. Since I feel at those times like I was given the “chore” to do, it usually seems like people should just “get it” and act accordingly.
“Fail miserably” I know well and this is what astounds me about The Mercy of Christ that it is so welcoming and embracing to miserable failures…more and more I find myself taking refuge in His Mercy. The other thing I have learnt, and try to listen to, in my own journey is that whatever I do, I do it for The Lord - and I actively pray to be neither discouraged by criticism nor ‘inflated’ by praise. Others responses or lack of are their own responsibility and I try to stay detached from that too and in the main because I dont think we can gauge the true affect and effect on others. Where posts are concerned for example, I know that I may read a post that really impacts on me and I go off and have a good ponder “at the drawing board” but I may not communicate the great impact anothers words have had on me.
Where something I may Post hoping to have a positive response, or something I do because I think I should, I actively ask myself where is my investment, in doing what I think I should do and letting it rest - or is my investment in something else: in some sort of “payoff” for myself?
Of course they didn’t do so when Jesus himself was saying things so I don’t know why it is I would think they should respond to me differently. It is hard though to remember that WE aren’t saving anyone. WE are not the messiah. We are just the ones crying out in the desert to make straight the way of the Lord; mere planters of seeds whose growth we may never see, or may not recognize in our own blindness.
We do nothing, God’s Grace in us can accomplish much. And when God’s Grace working in a miserable failure, accomplishes something then His Grace shines the more, simply because He is working through a miserable failure. Sometimes it can come into my mind that others cannot see just what a miserable failure I indeed am…I can leave that peacefully in God’s Hands too who will reveal what is necessary His Time and His Way.
It’s tough in our culture to admit to weakness or failure. At least we know though that we can turn to the one who knew much greater “failure” and who knows our hearts.
I am in the very fortunate, I think, position of being able to distance myself from many of the ‘claims of our culture’ - simply because I live alone and have no one else to be concerned about and because I am not in employment with a boss to be concerned about. Hence my investment in The Gospel is a far lesser claim than someone who has all these concerns - and necessary concerns incidentally…in other words, it is easy for me to talk
.
The Cross of course in the time of Jesus was massive and collosal failure…yet it was glory later revealed. So too with our crosses united to the Cross, in our time massive and collosal failure…later glory will be revealed who have gloried in the Cross of Christ. But again, John, it is so easy for me to talk! In effect I had to choose to live alone and thank God that I do not have to worry about employment…else my story would be far far different. It is my weakness that God has blest by allowing me to live alone and not to have to worry about employment - He has led my by this path simply because I am so overwhelmingly weak - He had to make it as easy as possible for the likes of me.
This is why I think we deseperately need a spirituality for lay people. Until you actually live on a cloister one can have no idea just how easy in comparison it is to live the spirituality of the classics, and just how supportive a community actually is. One goes to pray for example simply because that is where everyone else is going. And there are many other supports flowing from religious life that we out here in “laity land” just do not have. Hence “to whom more is given more is expected”. I am very much aware of these things having lived on a cloister in religious life.
Blessings John, and again a happy new year to you and yours…Barb
