It doesn’t have to be in close quarters. My parents generation danced with arms outstretched, one hand on the waist, the other arm outstretched holding hands. It was proper, and perfectly fine…and they didn’t have to ruin it with a bunch of thinking! Ladies and gentlemen have been dancing for centuries, with no sexual overtones.
Likewise. I never did much slow-dancing in high school (being homeschooled, I’d have had to dance with my brother
), but I’m picturing every old movie I’ve seen in which a fast song ends and a slow song starts up. Pairs of people suddenly all press their cheeks together and hug. Now I ask you, honestly … would touching your face to someone else’s, being held closely, and moving together from side to side be a near occasion of sin? Because it certainly would for me! 
Not if your heart is pure and there is no ill will or intent. Since when as a society are we so afraid to show affection to others?Likewise. I never did much slow-dancing in high school (being homeschooled, I’d have had to dance with my brother
Yes, even with a pure heart and a good will one can be tempted by being held closely by a member of the opposite sex. And why, as a society or otherwise, should we need to show physical affection to random strangers? Is physical affection really so cheap?
Yes, Diana, that’s why I differentiated the two situations. I will generally put one arm behind the girl and the other outstretch, if I dance with a stranger. If I know the person, I might hold both hands or even put both arms behind the girl, though the latter hasn’t really happened much since my earlier, more affectionate years. Just talking about my preference here, not morality. I just don’t really enjoy the idea of strangers dancing the way the youth today does.
Don’t know if I’d be sexually tempted… depends on the person and the day. It’d feel weird since it’d be so overstated. I think such “hugging” in close quarters, in a scenery in which people are doing their best to be attractive, it could carry some illusion of emotional intimacy. You know, like the thing people look for in sex if they aren’t after libido.Likewise. I never did much slow-dancing in high school (being homeschooled, I’d have had to dance with my brother
I think you’ve found the answer, though not in the way you thought you did. Basically, showing affection which is there is one thing, showing affection which isn’t there is another. I doubt there exists such affection between strangers. I doubt it exists between mere acquaintances or work colleagues for that matter, but in such cases it doesn’t look as weird.
I guess it depends on why. Like at a barn dance/ceilidh I wouldn’t have problem with relatively close dancing with strangers, like arms round them as it’s part of it, but I wouldn’t just go up to a stranger and started slow dancing with them if it weren’t an organised part
Can be tempted, perhaps, but I have never been tempted or aroused when harmlessly dancing with a male friend or a husband of a friend. There is no emotional connection for me that would even start the process. And it’s not that physical affection is so cheap. Mother Theresa held and hugged babies, women and men…let’s all learn from her example…that is is human nature to want to be loved and cared for. You are taking the most basic of human elements and turning it into something twisted. I have never read in the Bible “Embrace only those we are related to”.
These are my exact sentiments. I am a very warm and compassionate person, and I still do not care for the idea of such intimate contact with strangers. Also, as in the case of Mother Teresa, a dance and a hug are two very different things. The former is a true display of real affection, the latter is for personal entertainment. And if I went out dancing and then realized every man in the room wanted to show me affection by dancing with me, I’d probably make a very quiet and hasty exit.
No, I wouldn’t call it recreational affection. I would call it exercising, relieving stress from my day, living life and enjoying the company of new friends.
You’re reading more than I wrote. Hugging people is connected with some affection shown to them. Dancing figures are just that. I am not saying that affection may not exist between people who don’t know each other all that well. I’m saying that hugging a random stranger is not really what I imagine as affection of a personal kind which normally merits this kind of PDA. I don’t see why it would be wrong that I were, say, to hug a random girl at a random party. Question is, why would I? I don’t want to be anti-social here, but it just seems dancing involves a lot of fiction these days.
So why insist on shooting down what I say? I make clear difference between the more classical dancing (one arm together, one behind the person, or both hands joined, or similar), the hugging kind (arms around the neck and waist) and the groping kind (no description
). The “classical” way I will dance with pretty much anoyne, the hugging kind I’d need some inspiration for (say, a good friend I care for, a work colleague I like, some girl that’s been nice to talk to for a longer time, this kind of thing), the groping kind doeth not amuse me. In this, I might probably be more relaxed than you are when it comes to practical situations. I just don’t understand why people would go by convention and display some affection which isn’t there. Admittedly, I might be a little anti-social in this. There’s nothing wrong hugging a stranger, but what happens on dance floors is a mark of our bipolar times. That I can understand, although I still don’t think affection enters into the equation where strangers are involved. Also, slow dances are (or were) commonly done to romantic songs, so the theme of romance seems implicit in the dance. Of course, before there were love songs there was simply beautiful music, which I think is much more elegant and appropriate for dances between strangers.
Some people live as if they were living their last days. Those will dance romantic songs with strangers and I can’t say I blame them. I can’t say I have any concrete opinion on the matter and my own behaviour would probably differ day from day, but generally I find it somewhat strange, the idea of dancing love songs (undying devotion, throat-gripping affection, heart-wrenching emotion kind of thing) with someone I had only just seen for the first time. With enough wine and atmosphere, several hours into stopless dancing, I probably might, but I’ll still insist that people look rather hysterical when they exaggerate this.
And perhaps if this warm-fuzzy-but-not-sexual slow dancing actually existed in our 2008 culture we wouldn’t have such a hard time envisioning and discussing it … or at least we would all be talking about the same thing. But – and correct me, anybody, if I’m wrong – I think innocent slow dances are now virtually obsolete. And most of the slow-dancing crowd is under 18, which changes the hormone/temptation factor considerably, I should think.Some people live as if they were living their last days. Those will dance romantic songs with strangers and I can’t say I blame them. I can’t say I have any concrete opinion on the matter and my own behaviour would probably differ day from day, but generally I find it somewhat strange, the idea of dancing love songs (undying devotion, throat-gripping affection, heart-wrenching emotion kind of thing) with someone I had only just seen for the first time. With enough wine and atmosphere, several hours into stopless dancing, I probably might, but I’ll still insist that people look rather hysterical when they exaggerate this.
Actually, the most hormonal age is probably around 19. That’s the peak of reproductive ability for a man. Not sure about women, but I suppose most of the bad history happens around 18 and shortly after, say perhaps up until early twenties.And perhaps if this warm-fuzzy-but-not-sexual slow dancing actually existed in our 2008 culture we wouldn’t have such a hard time envisioning and discussing it … or at least we would all be talking about the same thing. But – and correct me, anybody, if I’m wrong – I think innocent slow dances are now virtually obsolete. And most of the slow-dancing crowd is under 18, which changes the hormone/temptation factor considerably, I should think.
I don’t know what you mean about warm and fuzzy without any connection but I think this thread is losing me.
dianaballein was describing a type of slow dance earlier, and “warm-and-fuzzy-but-not-sexual” is how I summed it up. And then I posted that the innocent sort of slow-dance has all but passed from the scene, and that the only people doing slow dancing these days are teens, who are already hormonal and excitable before holding each other closely and swaying to a love song.