Dark Night of Soul - or More?

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I started posting last night under another topic but changed my mind. I’m in a bad place right now and wondering what’s wrong. I find I can’t pray more than just my Morning Offering and a quick prayer for my parents’ souls. My daily Rosary of the Holy Wounds - has stopped. Our Lady’s Rosary - once all month - otherwise, not at all. What’s wrong? Is it laziness, too many distractions or a dark night of the soul? I use holy water every night before going to sleep.

I’m afraid that I’m lulling myself into a sense of non-prayer, while seeing you all doing your part despite what I read are busy schedules. Even if I get into some small prayer regimen, it eases away after a bit. Death can come at any time - and dismissing myself from what God must expect of me is only damaging my soul’s eternal life. What’s wrong with me? Is anyone else having this problem, and if so, how do you define it - how do you deal with it?
Thanks and God bless.
 
(((((Conservative))))))

I’ve been feeling like this lately myself. 😦 I have all-day morning sickness, I hate my job, my husband can’t find a job, and I long to stay home with our daughter (and new little one when he or she arrives). I know God’s plans are perfect, yet I have been unhappy and wanting to be home with my child for so long, that I can’t understand why He won’t help us. I’m not asking for riches and worldly things, I just want my husband to be able to work so I can be home with our children where I should be. :crying:

My nearly daily Rosary has stopped, as has my chaplet of Divine Mercy. I KNOW that this isn’t good, but it’s like I can’t bring myself to pray them because I’m so upset and feel like I wouldn’t be genuine in praying them. :o 😦 I still pray little, spontaneous prayers, but my prayer life has definitely changed.

I KNOW that Jesus is with me and loves me and is helping me, but I don’t FEEL Him. Thankfully I KNOW He is there and I will never turn away from Him, but it certainly is difficult when everything seems to be going wrong and no help comes. 😦

(Sorry I don’t have any advice for you. 😦 )

Edited to add: I fear this is an attack by Satan because I am not only not praying for myself as much, but I’m not praying for family, friends, and those in need as much anymore either. I just don’t know how to combat this. 😦
 
Conservative said:
I started posting last night under another topic but changed my mind. I’m in a bad place right now and wondering what’s wrong. I find I can’t pray more than just my Morning Offering and a quick prayer for my parents’ souls. My daily Rosary of the Holy Wounds - has stopped. Our Lady’s Rosary - once all month - otherwise, not at all. What’s wrong? Is it laziness, too many distractions or a dark night of the soul? I use holy water every night before going to sleep.

I’m afraid that I’m lulling myself into a sense of non-prayer, while seeing you all doing your part despite what I read are busy schedules. Even if I get into some small prayer regimen, it eases away after a bit. Death can come at any time - and dismissing myself from what God must expect of me is only damaging my soul’s eternal life. What’s wrong with me? Is anyone else having this problem, and if so, how do you define it - how do you deal with it?
Thanks and God bless.
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I think we all have ups and downs in our prayer life.

I find it helps to build prayer into some unavoidable down time.
I have a 20 min subway ride, where I can’t do anything, so I try to say the rosary.

God Bless
 
My prayer life has pretty much ended. I find that in my case it’s because of my own sins. I feel hypocritical in prayer and empty. I feel like a true prayer would be to stop sinning.

I’m not saying that is the case with you. It’s just the spot I’m in.
 
d_floyd77 said:
My prayer life has pretty much ended. I find that in my case it’s because of my own sins. I feel hypocritical in prayer and empty.
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Sometimes that’s the best time to pray, especially if we want to break the sins-the evil one loves it when we don’t ask…
 
Bouts of difficulty in prayer – prayer drying up – are very, very common even for serious pray-ers.

If you don’t have one, you should consider finding a spiritual director. You mentioned that sin in your life was a reason for your difficulty in praying. Perhaps there are other reasons as well. For example, as you grow in the spiritual life, you may find that your prayer simplifies and that tried-and-true methods of praying don’t "work’ any more. Depression, fatigue, and so on can also be factors. If sin is the reason, a good, thorough confession should help. If it doesn’t, there may be another cause. Problems with prayer can be very difficult to self-diagnose.
Conservative said:
I started posting last night under another topic but changed my mind. I’m in a bad place right now and wondering what’s wrong. I find I can’t pray more than just my Morning Offering and a quick prayer for my parents’ souls. My daily Rosary of the Holy Wounds - has stopped. Our Lady’s Rosary - once all month - otherwise, not at all. What’s wrong? Is it laziness, too many distractions or a dark night of the soul? I use holy water every night before going to sleep.

I’m afraid that I’m lulling myself into a sense of non-prayer, while seeing you all doing your part despite what I read are busy schedules. Even if I get into some small prayer regimen, it eases away after a bit. Death can come at any time - and dismissing myself from what God must expect of me is only damaging my soul’s eternal life. What’s wrong with me? Is anyone else having this problem, and if so, how do you define it - how do you deal with it?
Thanks and God bless.
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I would like to share to everyone what happened to me last year. Perhaps, you may realize how important praying to the Blessed Mother (and Her Rosary) is to me.

I was born and lived in a province since childhood, but after getting a job in Manila, Philippines (9 years ago), I started living a sinful life. If I had died earlier, I would surely have plunged into the burning sulfur of hell without any doubt or question.

I sinned and sinned, and didn’t even bother to pray, stayed away from God, forgot God, worked myself to death, focused on my career, increased my knowledge by going to a graduate school and increased my wealth and worldy possessions.

However, our Lord God had mercy on my soul and started calling me back, thru the Blessed Mother Mary:

1st Call: Two years ago, my college friend died. He was my classmate, same age as mine (32), with the same promising career as a chemical engineer. He and his career is gone now, at a very young age. I was shocked and felt fear. What if it was I who died?

Effect : I only felt fear, but did nothing to repent.

2nd Call: Last year, I received an email from my college friend that our dearest and most intelligent professor died at the age of 40+. He and his intelligence is gone now, also at a very young age.

Effect : My fear increased, but did not repent.

3rd Call: In August of last year, my very rich boss suddenly died of cancer at the age of 49. Her money and enormous wealth did not save her.

Effect : This time I was really struck hard, started to pray a little and started reflecting on my life, but did not repent.

4th Call: Last year again, I was bed ridden for a week due to kidney problem. The pain I had, felt like I was gonna die. I started praying hard to God, to forgive me for my transgressions. But after few weeks of being healed, I went back to my sinful life.

5th and Final Call: One week after celebrating the 75th birthday of my mother last year, she became very ill. She was brought to the hospital and was struggling between life and death. The hospital bills have drained all my savings, and left me with loans. After two months of struggle, and with no more resources to fight for her life, she died before Christmas, and so we had the most sorrowful Christmas ever.

This recent events moved me to change my life. It made me realize many things:
  1. First, our life is very short, and death which seems to be far away is really approaching to each one of us.
  2. Second, What is professional career for, if God takes away my life right now.
  3. Third, Worldy intelligence will be blotted out once the Lord God called us back.
  4. Fourth, Money and Wealth cannot save us from death, once the Lord has retrieved the life He gave us.
  5. Fifth, not to invoke the Lord God to anger, for His hands are mighty and powerful.
  6. Lastly, that I should be thankful to the Lord and the Blessed Mother in bringing me back to grace.
But, the temptation is very strong. It seems like a magnet pulling me down. And the Wretched One does not want me to lead a better life. So, I realized going back to grace is a gift from Heaven. But remaining in grace is another hard thing to accomplish.

So what I did is I prayed the 15 mysteries of the Holy Rosary everyday. I told the Blessed Mother sincerely that I will pray Her 15 mysteries everyday, in return for the favor of protecting me and not abandoning me especially in times of trouble. And she did, now I am completely changed. The Blessed Mother showered bountiful graces upon me which I do not deserve. And everytime I look back at my past, I felt sorrow for having mislead my life for so long and for having hurt God with my sins.

The spiritual battle is still ON and the temptations are still lurking around. But I guess it will never end while I am alive. But the most important thing is I have the Blessed Mother by my side now thru the Holy Rosary. I also have Jesus by my side, thru the Sacred Heart and Divine Mercy Chaplet (which gives me so much peace) and the Holy Eucharist (which is the food of my soul).

And we have all the angels and saints by our side who desires as much to save our souls.

Now, these are the reasons why I am praying the Rosary, and why I am urging others to do so also.
 
Conservative said:
I started posting last night under another topic but changed my mind. I’m in a bad place right now and wondering what’s wrong. I find I can’t pray more than just my Morning Offering and a quick prayer for my parents’ souls. My daily Rosary of the Holy Wounds - has stopped. Our Lady’s Rosary - once all month - otherwise, not at all. What’s wrong? Is it laziness, too many distractions or a dark night of the soul? I use holy water every night before going to sleep.

I’m afraid that I’m lulling myself into a sense of non-prayer, while seeing you all doing your part despite what I read are busy schedules. Even if I get into some small prayer regimen, it eases away after a bit. Death can come at any time - and dismissing myself from what God must expect of me is only damaging my soul’s eternal life. What’s wrong with me? Is anyone else having this problem, and if so, how do you define it - how do you deal with it?
Thanks and God bless.
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Wow!!! Just by writting this----this is a prayer and I’m sure it gives our Lord great delight to have one of His children call out to Him. You’re not alone in this (many of us are there, if not all at one time or another) and from what Sacred Scripture says,:bible1: “Be calm but vigilant, because your enemy the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to eat. Stand up to him, strong in faith and in the knowledege that your brothers all over the world are suffering the same things.You will have to suffer only for a little while: the God of all grace who called you to eternal glory in Christ will see that all is well again: He will confirm, strengthen and support you.” (1 Peter 5 8-11) I see you already do this, anyway here is a quote from St. Bernard " When you want to offer anything to God take care to offer it by the most agreeable and worthy hands of Mary, unless you wish to have it rejected.":signofcross: :amen: 👍
:heaven: Remember our Lords Passion
 
We musn’t rely on sentiments for prayer. I think that’s the problem, many people pray just when they “feel it” and you must be like a soldier, like it or not, you must be constant. The saints say that is more worthy a prayer in dryness that one in great fervor.
 
I know that I need to pray and cry out to God especially during times when I don’t feel like praying. I must keep to my routine of Morning Prayer, meditation, and Mass.

The Divind Mercy chaplet is so simple, and helps me to keep my focus.

If we rely on our feelings in order to pray, then we can just drift further and further away from God. Some spiritual reading and guidance from your confessor can help as well.

In the true “Dark Night of the Soul” a person continues to pray and reach out to the Lord in spite of no feelings whatsoever. This is how a soul is purged of its attachments to consolations in prayer.
 
I agree with Dorothy, the Dark Night of the Soul is a term that is a little misleading.

When one enters the Dark Night (DN or DNoS), it is because it is time for the person to enter a period of spiritual purification, and, if it is major, it can be seen as a sort of ‘spiritual puberty’, where it is time to stop being a child in the faith, with all it’s goodness and warmth, and time to become an adult, where ultimately we are drawn infinitely closer to God and able to give ourselves to Him unconditionally.

A key factor in the the DN is that one clings to the sacraments and yearns for the sacramentals. Indeed, at first, one may become adverse to them, becoming nonchalant and maybe even despising them, but what you must NEVER do is give up. Because then you will never grow, you will never draw closer to Him, who is love and truth itself.

I suggest finding the online version of the DNoS (it’s floating around somewhere), and if there is any hint that you do not fit that pattern, then I, in my experience, would conclude that it is your run-of-the-mill attack from Satan. Even if you feel ‘bleah’ to praying, do it, even if it means saying to God ‘I really hate praying’.

Go to confession, frequently, because the sacrament is not so much about saying what you did wrong, but getting help on how you can become better.
 
Dorothy:
In the true “Dark Night of the Soul” a person continues to pray and reach out to the Lord in spite of no feelings whatsoever. This is how a soul is purged of its attachments to consolations in prayer.
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In The Dark Night of The Soul all that once gave the soul a ‘sense of security’ seems to dissipate, and not only consolations - as Dorothy states above, also “attachments” including those attachments to our concepts and understandings in connection with what Faith may tell us that do bring comfort - as with Mother Teresa of Calcutta and her Dark Night of The Soul : Faith itself can seem to disappear, rather it is our concepts connected to our Faith that are dissipated …yet the person continues to reach out to God lovingly and very painfully so ardent is the love and so absent seems God…what is absent is all that was once experienced as God and His Presence and also Faith in what it tells us and the concepts we have formed. God is in fact present in a new and very painful manner so new and strange to experience is it in the early stages that it seems the pure absence of God. Faith in its pure essence is still very much present and active which is why the person loves and so painfully longingly.
The Cloud of Unknowing is a good read.

Blessings and regards…Barb:)
 
I can’t thank you all enough for your replies and suggestions - I am reading and re-reading each one for help. As there are so many quotes with excellent advice, I’ll do this from memory.

First, let me say you may recall me speaking often of having lost my mother and father in six months time. In your replies about the evil one, I have no doubt he is attempting to keep me from God. I mention my mother’s passing here because I believe that in her last weeks my judgement was impaired - almost assuredly because of evil lurking here. In her last months, my mother even pointed to something she called “malevolo”, which in Italian means evil one or evil thing. Was it imagination? Poor eyesight? Or what? Did I sprinkle holy water? No. Why not? (and yet in her last months, she continued to pray for or recommend me to God and Our Lady). But my decisions at her end - were all so wrong based on what we both believed. She had taught me so well - I still can’t believe how blind I became to the most obvious on what she would have wanted or done for me at the end - Plus, I have seen evidence once of something appearing to look like an evil symbol (weeks after she died) traced in dust in my house - I wasn’t looking for it - not my imagination - it petrified me.

I have always been lazy about prayer (no excuse for me) - but I will say that I’ve discovered how much I love the Blessed Sacrament, particularly when exposed in the Monstrance during Benediction and afterwards. (I love “The Divine Praises”.) I love to be there when no one else is there - for the quiet, privacy of being with Him - though my prayer or attention span is lacking, and I know God understands, I still feel lacking for just sitting there. I love being in Church when no one is there, and I can just be with God and Our Lady. But I don’t often go when I sometimes have the thought to during off hours. Also, my preferred Church is further than the normal distance.

I have the book, Dark Night of the Soul, somewhere in the house - many books were packed and rearranged when Mom got sick. I must search it out but my attention span either for prayer or reading - is short. After both my parents died, however, I said the Rosary of the Holy Wounds daily for both their souls - the first thing in the day. Even that I’ve stopped - again perhaps out of laziness or whatever. I can only imagine how God is disappointed in me, putting earthly things above the most important. I believe that people are too quick to stop praying for departed souls (particularly newly-departed ones) - and how they must thirst for prayer. My parents only have me, and now my laziness fails them, if they’re in need.

I agree with you all and did before my inital post - that I need a spiritual advisor / confessor who knows and understands my spiritual dilemma. I’m also aware that even a decade of the Rosary would be preferable to none at all. Selfishly, I ask for your prayers. And to the poster who suggested I ask in the name of Our Lady - When asking God for something, I pray, “by Thy Divine Grace and Mercy, through Our Lady’s intercession and in the Name of Thy Divine Son, Jesus.” May God bless you all.
 
Conservative:

I have put you on my prayer list and will remember you in my prayers.

Peace,

Dorothy
 
Conservative said:
First, let me say you may recall me speaking often of having lost my mother and father in six months time. In your replies about the evil one, I have no doubt he is attempting to keep me from God. I mention my mother’s passing here because I believe that in her last weeks my judgement was impaired - almost assuredly because of evil lurking here. In her last months, my mother even pointed to something she called “malevolo”, which in Italian means evil one or evil thing. Was it imagination? Poor eyesight? Or what? Did I sprinkle holy water? No. Why not? (and yet in her last months, she continued to pray for or recommend me to God and Our Lady). But my decisions at her end - were all so wrong based on what we both believed. She had taught me so well - I still can’t believe how blind I became to the most obvious on what she would have wanted or done for me at the end - Plus, I have seen evidence once of something appearing to look like an evil symbol (weeks after she died) traced in dust in my house - I wasn’t looking for it - not my imagination - it petrified me.
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In that case, I recommend the deliverance resources on the Saint Pio Center for Deliverance Counseling, particularly the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. You can find that information on their Help Page.

Even if demons aren’t involved in this situation, you’ll be a better Catholic when you finish the seven steps.

God bless you.
 
beckycmarie said:
In that case, I recommend the deliverance resources on the Saint Pio Center for Deliverance Counseling, particularly the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. You can find that information on their Help Page.

Even if demons aren’t involved in this situation, you’ll be a better Catholic when you finish the seven steps.

God bless you.
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Thank you. My mother was a spirtual child of Padre Pio, and we went to San Giovanni Rotondo some years after he was interred there. His image/books are in the house; his statue in my Mom’s room. Thanks for the link.
 
Dear Conservative,
I’ll pray for you.I’m sorry for the loss of your folks. I’ll pray for them too,help take up some of your slack,O.K.?

God bless you! I would highly recommend those seven steps that beckycmarie told you about.I’ve done them and the difference is like nite and day. I’ve been experiencing a very similar situation for close to a year and a half, don’t give in or give up.God is helping you right now. He hears you right now.

Love in Christ! Tom
 
sawman said:
Dear Conservative,
I’ll pray for you.I’m sorry for the loss of your folks. I’ll pray for them too,help take up some of your slack,O.K.?

God bless you! I would highly recommend those seven steps that beckycmarie told you about.I’ve done them and the difference is like nite and day. I’ve been experiencing a very similar situation for close to a year and a half, don’t give in or give up.God is helping you right now. He hears you right now.

Love in Christ! Tom
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That’s great news, Sawman. The steps changed my life too, which is why I mention them all the time to folks who sound like they need those steps.
 
sawman said:
Dear Conservative,
I’ll pray for you.I’m sorry for the loss of your folks. I’ll pray for them too,help take up some of your slack,O.K.?

God bless you! I would highly recommend those seven steps that beckycmarie told you about.I’ve done them and the difference is like nite and day. I’ve been experiencing a very similar situation for close to a year and a half, don’t give in or give up.God is helping you right now. He hears you right now.

Love in Christ! Tom
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Thanks, Sawman -
No, I never give up on God - that would the ultimate sin. (I may disappoint Him - or keep Him waiting - but I know He’s the One, True Resolution and Answer.) I know He hears me but I’m disappointed in myself - I know better and maybe not trying hard enough and at this point, can’t help but ask ‘what am I waiting for?’ And I’m fearful of the evil in the world - all too prevalent - and perhaps too close to home - I need God in my life…knowing that, why am I so lazy to prayer? (It’s easy to blame evil - could it just be me?) I appreciate all your prayers.
God and Our Lady Bless you.
 
While I am not your spiritual director, what you describe does not sound like the dark night of the soul, experienced by many of our saints. Those who experience a true dark night of the soul, are usually quite advanced in spirituality. It is a period of spiritual growth in which these saints keep yearning for the spiritual fulfillment they have experienced with their prayers and ascetical practices. But as we say, seem to have hit a brick wall in growth. Contrary to what they think, or feel, their spiritual growth during these times is tremendous, because intellectually, they know that they should keep doing what they did and do so, even though they feel nothing. We have all heard the phrase that love is a decision. Their continued practice of their devotions and spiritual works stem from that decision, even though they may feel spiritually dry and empty and abandoned. This takes a strong ascent of the will and action on what they know is right, but for which they feel nothing but dryness and abandonment. Those who undergo this are usually far advanced in the stages of spiritual growth. Your continuing to do what you did before, even with these feelings is where you will make your spiritual growth, not by abandoning them. Pray as you did before and keep praying as you did before. You will also be in my prayers, and I ask that you keep me in yours.
Prayers & Blessings
Deacon Ed B
 
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