Dark Night of the Soul- ocd/scrupulosity

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humble_catholic

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Please pray for me every as I am going through what I believe is a dark night of the soul. The pain has been excruciating. The thoughts are trying to confuse me and cause me doubts about God and I hate every one of those thoughts. I cry and shake in my bed , but I am praying the rosary almost daily and sometimes more begging and reaching for our Holy Mother and our Lord to deliver me from this. I feel numb, dark and empty . Fighting these thoughts has taken everything out of me and I feel no joy or happiness anymore, Just a pure emptiness. When someone mentions God, Jesus or Mary to me I get stress pains and its a pure battle of will to fight aginst the thoughts which is causing the pains.This has been going on for 5 months now:(

Please pray for me everyone. I know that If these thoughts will be coming against me every day for my whole life that I will never ever stop praying .
God Bless you all
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of our death,
Amen.

Blessed, Mary, ever Virgin, pray for us, and especially for your lost, despairing child, humble catholic.

Amen.
 
Humble:
Know what your going through, as I also have ocd. Many times during an examination of conscience before confession I painfully wonder what I have missed.
Stay strong and offer up your suffering, you are most definately carrying your cross try and find peace in it.
Praying for you.
Dave H
 
Mark, thank you so much for that Hail Mary Prayer. I nearly cried when I saw it. Every part of me is thirsting for her to hold me in her arms. I need her and I need our lord and savior. Big Thank you my friend.

Dave, thank you also for understanding the ocd issue. Yea your right, it is a devious disorder and on top of that you cant rely on your feelings and thoughts to get you through it. Right now im going on pure blind faith. Its scary, and all I want is for these thoughts to go away and even though my thoughts want me to rebel against my next statement, I shall now. Dont ask me how or why but I will follow this statement " LORD THY WILL BE DONE, NOT MY WILL"

Thank you so much Dave and Mark:(
Your prayers mean the world to me
 
I believe that I am going through the same thing right now and it has been happening to me off and on for a few months. I feel that we must double up our efforts in prayer and just like you I continue to pray the rosary. I am comforted by knowing that the Lord loves us so much that He died and rose from the dead and that nothing can separate us from the Love of God.

Praying for you …
 
humble_catholic said:
Please pray for me every as I am going through what I believe is a dark night of the soul. The pain has been excruciating. The thoughts are trying to confuse me and cause me doubts about God and I hate every one of those thoughts. I cry and shake in my bed , but I am praying the rosary almost daily and sometimes more begging and reaching for our Holy Mother and our Lord to deliver me from this. I feel numb, dark and empty . Fighting these thoughts has taken everything out of me and I feel no joy or happiness anymore, Just a pure emptiness. When someone mentions God, Jesus or Mary to me I get stress pains and its a pure battle of will to fight aginst the thoughts which is causing the pains.This has been going on for 5 months now:(

Please pray for me everyone. I know that If these thoughts will be coming against me every day for my whole life that I will never ever stop praying .
God Bless you all
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Hail, holy Queen,
mother of mercy,
our life, our sweetness,
and our hope.
To thee do we cry,
poor banished children of Eve.
To thee do we send up our sighs mourning
and weeping in this valley of tears.
Turn then, most gracious advocate,
thine eyes of mercy toward us,
and after this our exile
show us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.
Amen
 
Thank you so much KiloMike. God Bless you. I will remember to add you all to my daily rosary prayer intentions list. That list is starting to get huge:p
God Bless you all
 
Continued prayers for you HC…

Hail, Holy Queen,
mother of mercy,
our life, our sweetness,
and our hope.
To thee do we cry,
poor banished children of Eve.
To thee do we send up our sighs mourning
and weeping in this valley of tears.
Turn then, most gracious advocate,
thine eyes of mercy toward us,
and after this our exile
show us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.
Amen
 
Thank you smuch again KiloMike:(, I really think that I need to find a primary care doctor as the intrusive thoughts are getting worse again but I have a few people in my house that wont give me the privacy to get one:(. I hope meds will help with the intrusive thoughts.
 
Just do what you hvae to do to get better…we will continue praying for you…

Hail, Holy Queen,
mother of mercy,
our life, our sweetness,
and our hope.
To thee do we cry,
poor banished children of Eve.
To thee do we send up our sighs mourning
and weeping in this valley of tears.
Turn then, most gracious advocate,
thine eyes of mercy toward us,
and after this our exile
show us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.
Amen
 
Kilo1Mike and Luvu2 thank you so much for these continued prayers. When I came back to read your posts I was almost in tears. The numbness and unbelief thoughts have become so powerfull and the more they come the more I cry out to Jesus and our Holy Mother. It seems like things got even worse the last few days when I got off my herbal meds. I feel as if this is a combination of some evil, numbing force taking advantage of my weakened condition (ocd-anxiety attacks). The experience I had while laying in my tub of seeing our holy mother choking a grotesque creature felt so real. The good news is that I finally got the number of a primary care doctor which I will be calling today to setup an appointment. By his name its a good chance that he could be catholic also:)

I know I sound desperate folks but please keep up these prayers:)
I really need them now more then ever. I hope that one day the darkness will be over but for now I will never stop being obedient to my Lord, no matter what these thoughts and feelings are telling me.
God Bless you all
 
Samson, Thank you so much buddy, to me it means so much to hear you say that with everything that your going through my friend. Like I said before, Im drawing strength to just survive by your couragiousness:)
Praying for you also from now on.

Thank you so much everyone, I will beat this problem or keep praying till the day I day and the last words that will come out of my mouth will be I thirst for you my Lord, and Thank you my holy Mother for letting me see your face:)
 
=St Gabriel;6620120]I believe that I am going through the same thing right now and it has been happening to me off and on for a few months. I feel that we must double up our efforts in prayer and just like you I continue to pray the rosary. I am comforted by knowing that the Lord loves us so much that He died and rose from the dead and that nothing can separate us from the Love of God.
Click to expand...
Praying for you …
Click to expand...
It is at the same time a grace and a cross form God. Most, if not all of us experience similar feelings from time to time.:o

Spend time with the Eucharit in adoration and keep praying the Rosary.

May God grant you perservance and understanding.

Pat
 
PJM said:
It is at the same time a grace and a cross form God. Most, if not all of us experience similar feelings from time to time.:o

Spend time with the Eucharist in adoration and keep praying the Rosary.

May God grant you perservance and understanding.

Pat
Click to expand...
Thanks PJM,I will ask to start going to adoration. Just completed 1.5 rosaries today. Fell asleep yesterday night so I made up for it today. Might say one more rosary if I can. I believe also that my OCD has made things worse, but it also feels like something else is trying to enforce its will on me, but I have been fighting it every step of the way.
Im still trying to fully understand how this can be a grace, Just started reading up on the dark night of the soul by Saint John of the Cross

I had something similar to this happen before when I took an HIV test 18 years ago, and I had panic attacks over that fear (even though im a virgin and never had a blood transfusion), but this is much worse and much more numbing inside and out.
 
Humble, the dark night, as explained by a trusted person, is like being inside and then going outside just after a fresh snowstorm. The whiteness blinds for a short while, then as your eyes adjust, you can enjoy the splender of what you see. It may be a long storm, but when it passes, you get what I’m saying. You’ll do alright.🙂
 
Thank you Samson, its good to hear such encouraging froms you. My only fear is that these thought might have any chance of being mine, but if I ever get through this phase I will have developed some very nice habits from it , like praying the rosary every and Im planing on joining the Knights of Columbus:)
My prayers are with you each day my friend, we are always here for you
 
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