I
indymb
Guest
After recent years of multiple affairs and two decades of falsehoods and lying since the start of our marriage, I am now pushing hard to end it through divorce. Have tried everything. Really. Still hard now, after a year of her delaying the process, to cut one more thread of support for her. We made great kids. But, I cannot live her lie any longer.
I’ve lost so many nights of sleep praying, worrying, praying, trying, praying, asking friends, and trying every way to penetrate the reasons and understand her motivations. I came to the point of wishing my end, if God would have me. But I have more to give, and I know that, except on these dark nights.
Lord, I know Your cry from the Cross, hanging before Your people You so loved in this world. I’ve found solace there because I knew Your love too had brought You there. To love without regard of our sinful nature, is Your example, but I couldn’t make that work for my marriage. I prayed to give my life for her salvation, if that was the cost. I’ve tried praying with her and always for her.
I sit here with work tasks before me this day, already so drained, so fatigued. I want to run away, but others depend on me.
You know my heart. You’ve provided Your aid through those who have so ministered to me. I’ve known Your real presence, though the feeling of those memories does not penetrate this dark night.
Lord, shall I again extend the love You showed on the Cross? Does the unrequited love in marriage still require that same effort? My heart is broken, and I am the brunt of false accusations. Yet, so were You. I look for Your Cross, Lord. May I find Your will, this night, and those days in the future that I may serve You.
Forgive the smallness of my trial among so many who come to You with lives cradled in their hands, for whom I should add my prayers. Thank you Lord for Your community of believers and the dedication of souls who are the mortar binding we bricks into the walls of Your Church.
May I offer my small suffering and add my prayers to others for the cure of Bill Robinson’s cancer. As in all things, thy will be done.
I’ve lost so many nights of sleep praying, worrying, praying, trying, praying, asking friends, and trying every way to penetrate the reasons and understand her motivations. I came to the point of wishing my end, if God would have me. But I have more to give, and I know that, except on these dark nights.
Lord, I know Your cry from the Cross, hanging before Your people You so loved in this world. I’ve found solace there because I knew Your love too had brought You there. To love without regard of our sinful nature, is Your example, but I couldn’t make that work for my marriage. I prayed to give my life for her salvation, if that was the cost. I’ve tried praying with her and always for her.
I sit here with work tasks before me this day, already so drained, so fatigued. I want to run away, but others depend on me.
You know my heart. You’ve provided Your aid through those who have so ministered to me. I’ve known Your real presence, though the feeling of those memories does not penetrate this dark night.
Lord, shall I again extend the love You showed on the Cross? Does the unrequited love in marriage still require that same effort? My heart is broken, and I am the brunt of false accusations. Yet, so were You. I look for Your Cross, Lord. May I find Your will, this night, and those days in the future that I may serve You.
Forgive the smallness of my trial among so many who come to You with lives cradled in their hands, for whom I should add my prayers. Thank you Lord for Your community of believers and the dedication of souls who are the mortar binding we bricks into the walls of Your Church.
May I offer my small suffering and add my prayers to others for the cure of Bill Robinson’s cancer. As in all things, thy will be done.
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