Date after divorce?

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Dlee

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I’m 62, divorced coming up on 20 years. I was Baptist at the time. My ex remarried right away. I never considered dating because of my children. They are grown and on their own now. I recently converted to Catholicism. Should I be open to male friendships, dating, no marriage? I would enjoy the companionship and possible relationship within Church guidelines. Is it even possible? Or do I just wait and see hat happens?
 
You should speak with your pastor about the possibility of obtaining a decree of nullity of your marriage.
 
If your spouse is still living, then I can’t see what good would come of it. It would only create a temptation to enter an adulterous civil marriage.
 
Quote from our Pope:

“divorce is an evil…It is important that the divorced who have entered a new union should be made to feel part of the Church. They are not excommunicated and they should not be treated as such, since they remain part of the ecclesial community.”

Their exclusion “can be surmounted,” he says, adding that local priests and bishops can work with such couples to that end. "By thinking that everything is black and white, we sometimes close off the way of grace and of growth,”

Source:

 
The OP has not entered a new union. Using talk of how to reach out to sinners to encourage someone who is living rightly to commit a sin is vicious and uncharitable.
 
Firstly, as you are new to Catholicism, never let another human tell you aren’t welcome in God’s house. You are accountable to our judge, as i am, it is not for any of us to cast the first stone at you. Talk to your priest; if your conscious is clear and you are prepared to defend your actions to God then i would remarry in your situation.
 
Encouraging people to commit mortal sins is itself an execrable mortal sin of direct scandal. For the good of your own soul and of others who could be influenced by you, you should delete your posts.
 
God bless you for remaining faithful to your vows in the face of adversity.

Talk to your pastor about the nullity process. I suggest the book The Wedding That Was by Michael Smith Foster to help you understand it.

If you believe your first marriage was valid, then no do not date because it cannot lead to anything.

If you believe your marriage was not valid, then go down that path towards nullity and then see if dating is in the cards.

Certainly you are always welcome to have companionship from males and females alike. Not romantic companionship but that of friends.

Do not listen to those trying to confuse and lead you toward sin. You are currently not free to marry another, but with the help of your pastor that could change.
 
It is an error to think that being welcome means engaging in whatever sexual behavior you feel.

OP is not unwelcome in the church because of her prior divorce, far from it. However, as a Catholic, she would be expected to conform to church teaching on sex inside of marriage, not to remarry anyway because “God forgives.” OP’s path within the church is to either remain celibate or to seek a degree of nullity.

Friendship with both men and women is of course always allowed.
 
When you say “she would be expected to…” who is expecting this and how is it enforced?
 
Esteemed @Dlee, this is a subject many times subject to erroneous debate.
Dlee said:
Is it even possible?
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IT IS!!!
while their condition as persons who are divorced and remarried is per se manifest, they will be able to receive Eucharistic Communion only remoto scandalo.
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So, in a nutshell: Yes, you can have a new relationship and live a new love. Christs two commandments were to love. It makes perfect sense to want to love and desire to be loved. It is, however, not a marriage and requires therefore the abstinence from sin, hence adultery, and to avoid scandal - hence “remoto scandalo”.

I will say 1 thing only: In your Dioceses there will be 1 priest designated to marriage preparation and marriage counsel…He, that priest, is a specialist on these delicate and sometimes intricate problems. That priest, was chosen specifically by the bishop for his abundant knowledge and proven experience in counseling those needing help on these subjects. To council young and old, from all walks of life. Go to that priest, and don’t be afraid, “the truth will set you free”.

http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/p..._pc_intrptxt_doc_20000706_declaration_en.html

[To all those commenting, and reading, please be careful and prudent - this is one thing that requires “pastoral care” and is probably beyond the laic ability.]
 
If you can “date” in a strictly platonic way, go for it.

If you want to move outta the friendzone and into the endzone, or pursue engagement/marriage, you will need to obtain an annulment.

From the sound of it, it should be real easy for you to get a decree of nullity.
 
@stupidisasstupiddoes I’m with @Arkansan

You absolutely canNOT advocate for remarriage before obtaining an annulment.

Your post was scandalous and you should delete it.
 
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Some Catholics would do well to re-read chapter 19 of Matthew and understand that blind obedience to rules does not guarantee your salvation. I quoted our own Pope when i said that not everything is black and white. I agree with the poster above who said go speak to your priest because we are not qualified to give advice, and can only state our opinions.
 
It’s got literally nothing to do with blind obedience to rules, and everything to do with avoiding sin.

You quoted the Holy Father way out of context.

He wasn’t saying “go on ahead and remarry after divorce, no problemo”

He was saying certain situations where that did occur, its best to have them go through a period where they can reestablish Communion.

Merry Christmas
 
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I did not say that at all and it’s rather low of you to misquote me in such a way. If you read what i said, my advice was “talk to a priest”. As you said yourself and others have hinted, getting an annulment should be very easy. Your conscious must also be clear, as in some people might decide not to marry even if a priest said it would be ok, however i would. Nowhere did i say i wouldn’t get an annulment if i was in this situation.
 
stupidisasstupiddoes said:
As you said yourself and others have hinted, getting an annulment should be very easy
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Anyone who hinted or stated this is incorrect.

Nothing the OP has stated gives rise to the idea that a decree of nullity will be “easy to get”, in fact no grounds have been indicated at all.

The OP should certainly talk to their pastor to learn more and see if they do have any grounds to pursue nullity. But saying it “should be easy to get” is quite misleading to the OP, if the marriage is found to be valid it won’t be obtained at all.
 
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