Date Idea

[ASawyer]

Hi, my name is Aaron and I’m 19. And recently I have taken a liking in one of my good friends who also is Catholic. Originally we were just going to have ice cream one night but I asked her to have dinner as well. Now we are going on a date. I have to admit, I’m a tad nervous because I have never dated a Catholic girl (other than a holiday Catholic prior to my conversion a year ago). We both love God and Church and everything the Church stands for.

So here’s the issue, she doesn’t like seeing movies in the theaters as she thinks they are overpriced and has no problem waiting til they come out on Netflix, etc. My first idea was to go to the parish after dinner and before walking down to this ice cream. Maybe pray with her.

I’d like any advice from what to do (like movies or some activity) to what we could pray together; like the rosary or a chaplet. Any idea is welcomed and appreciated . Thanks!

 

[JeraldW]

Heya Aaron

Sounds like you are off to a great start with planning your date! Especially since this is a first one, just take 'er easy and laid back, and see if there are any friendly qualities to this lovely lady. Be yourself, be a gentleman. Enjoy the female companionship!

I would maybe just stick with either dinner or the ice cream, I think both might be a bit to intense activity-wise for this first date. I would finish with going to go see Jesus at the local parish. Spend a holy hour in silence with her by your side in front of the tabernacle, at the end ask her if you would want to pray that quick chaplet or rosary. If she didnt bring her rosary, just tell her to use your fingers!( haha, just teasing) Good way to end the night, no better chaperone than the Lord! Take her home, ask her if she enjoyed herself. If she says yes, propose the next date ( HAVE ONE IN MIND ALREADY!) say goodnight and offer a quick, chaste hug! Its all good!

I wish some other good holy men had told me this in the beginning, but real ladies LOVE a man with a plan! Never say the dreaded line "So, what do you want to do??? 9/10 she will say “I dunno” then you look like a curmudgeon. A real man takes the helm and gets 'er done. Thats why I highlighted above, have your dates pre planned before you ask her out. Out of gentlemanly appreciation and attention, your lovely lady should only have to show up, and you should take care of the rest. It is the beginning of learn how to sacrificially love another in a truly masculine way (ever though at this point it will be merely fraternal)

Hopefully this helps! I am 23 and have been on many dates with some gorgeous practicing Catholic ladies. Once again, just lay back and enjoy her company!

 

[ASawyer]

Sounds like an idea. However I think you may have skipped over the part where I said we were good friends already , so I know she has some very good qualities and I know she’s of good character as well.

Again thanks for the advice!

 

[MaryT777]

Sounds like an idea. However I think you may have skipped over the part where I said we were good friends already , so I know she has some very good qualities and I know she’s of good character as well.

Again thanks for the advice!

Looks like you have great advice already! Enjoy yourselves,
Peace in Christ,
Mary.

 

[Jon_S_1]

Hi, my name is Aaron and I’m 19. And recently I have taken a liking in one of my good friends who also is Catholic. Originally we were just going to have ice cream one night but I asked her to have dinner as well. Now we are going on a date. I have to admit, I’m a tad nervous because I have never dated a Catholic girl (other than a holiday Catholic prior to my conversion a year ago). We both love God and Church and everything the Church stands for.

So here’s the issue, she doesn’t like seeing movies in the theaters as she thinks they are overpriced and has no problem waiting til they come out on Netflix, etc. My first idea was to go to the parish after dinner and before walking down to this ice cream. Maybe pray with her.

I’d like any advice from what to do (like movies or some activity) to what we could pray together; like the rosary or a chaplet. Any idea is welcomed and appreciated . Thanks!

I would say don’t over think it so much! Be yourself, and go and do something fun and social to get to know each other better. Consider taking her on an activity. My first date with my wife we took the train to downtown and saw the historic sites, had lunch and then went home. We remember it fondly still. Other fun things are mini golf or go carts or maybe an outdoor concert, or whatever else you guys might be in to. I am sure you know what she likes to do for fun or at least what you do so maybe consider doing one of those things.

If you both want to pray at church I think thats great, just don’t make her think your walking her down the aisle on the first date

 

[hsmomforlife]

It’s summer…is there a festival going on in your area? If you know what type of music she likes, is there a ‘concert in the park’ that you could attend and maybe have a picnic dinner? Maybe there’s a free movie in the park?? Between our suburb and others within a few minutes drive, you can see 5-6 movies in the park on any given Saturday night. Usually they are family friendly movies too
I’m assuming this is an evening date…so that nixes anything like a local farmers market/parish festival etc.
Hmmm, you are light years ahead of me in the ‘religious dating’ category…I never would have thought to pray with a date…but I’m glad you have!
Is there a shrine or Perpetual Adoration in your area? Perhaps stopping for a few minutes (15-30?) would be an idea?
I think it would be super sweet to do whatever you do in an area where you can have a short stroll from one thing to the next, where you can talk
I hope this helps…somewhat…

 

[McMcMe]

May I humbly suggest you refrain from praying together unless it is in a group worship setting? Prayer as a couple can be very intimate and therefore inappropriate for a first date. Going to mass together? Fine. Young adult event that includes prayer like a holy hour? Sure. But anything that could be the two of you joining in prayer alone…not a good idea. Even side by side alone in a prayer chapel (or feeling alone if the old lady in the corner keeps nodding off!) may not be wise.

My, now, husband and I did pray together when we were dating but it came very close to the end of our courtship and the beginning of our engagement. If you are looking into ways to grow in faith together, check out service and volunteer opportunities, educational events like Theology on Tap, or going to hear great works of music.

Anyway, that’s my advice from a woman’s perspective. Enjoy getting to know each other better!

 

[ctporrell]

You both sound young, and it seems you both like movies. I would suggest A Man for All Seasons. Available on Amazon Prime for Streaming. Excellent movie to talk about today’s troubles and the values you share, etc. Good Luck! Most importantly respect each other and no matter what you respect God.

 

[Rete]

There is somewhat of a point to that. Devout women are most beautiful when they are praying. If you are attracted to one, then it might not be wise to get too close when they are being beautiful like that.

Dinner, ice cream, and maybe a walk in a city park or downtown is always fun. You kind of have to find out what she likes to do since going to her apartment to watch Netflix is not a fantastic idea.

 

[daisybee]

I would say don’t over think it so much! Be yourself, and go and do something fun and social to get to know each other better. Consider taking her on an activity.

I agree with this suggestion about an activity because an activity helps in making conversation. On one of our first dates we went to a museum, where we could make comments about the displays, and point out things of interest to each other.

 

[underacloud]

May I humbly suggest you refrain from praying together unless it is in a group worship setting? Prayer as a couple can be very intimate and therefore inappropriate for a first date. Going to mass together? Fine. Young adult event that includes prayer like a holy hour? Sure. But anything that could be the two of you joining in prayer alone…not a good idea. Even side by side alone in a prayer chapel (or feeling alone if the old lady in the corner keeps nodding off!) may not be wise.

My, now, husband and I did pray together when we were dating but it came very close to the end of our courtship and the beginning of our engagement. If you are looking into ways to grow in faith together, check out service and volunteer opportunities, educational events like Theology on Tap, or going to hear great works of music.

Anyway, that’s my advice from a woman’s perspective. Enjoy getting to know each other better!

I have to agree with this advice. Praying together at this very early stage seems a bit too intimate and possibly intimidating. For some people prayer is a very personal experience and praying with others is difficult, so I think you’d want to get to know her better before exploring this (even noting you are already friends).

Just spend time getting to know each other. Do things where conversations will hopefully flow naturally. Don’t attempt activities at this stage (eg praying together) that many married couples struggle to do comfortably.

 

[Anglewannabe]

May I humbly suggest you refrain from praying together unless it is in a group worship setting? Prayer as a couple can be very intimate and therefore inappropriate for a first date. Going to mass together? Fine. Young adult event that includes prayer like a holy hour? Sure. But anything that could be the two of you joining in prayer alone…not a good idea. Even side by side alone in a prayer chapel (or feeling alone if the old lady in the corner keeps nodding off!) may not be wise.

My, now, husband and I did pray together when we were dating but it came very close to the end of our courtship and the beginning of our engagement. If you are looking into ways to grow in faith together, check out service and volunteer opportunities, educational events like Theology on Tap, or going to hear great works of music.

Anyway, that’s my advice from a woman’s perspective. Enjoy getting to know each other better!

I have always been a devout Catholic and want to know something, whenever a guy mentioned going to church or praying on a first date it was nothing but a BIG disappointment. All I could think was ‘what a stick in the mud’.

There reason are 2 reasons I am always upfront about my religious beliefs with a man
1-) to not waste his time if he thinks religion is for the birds
2-) to let him no I will not be having pre-marital sex, which sadly most men don’t get nowadays

Trust me, I have NEVER told a man about my religious beliefs in the hopes of being taken to church on a date. I still like having fun !

Also, I am so devout that I actually wanted to save going to church for my husband. I have gone to church with men, but honestly, I don’t like it. I am there to really open my heart to Jesus and I don’t want a man there.

As for women liking a man with a plan and not asking her what she wants to do. I would rephrase that to ‘women like to know ahead of time what will be happening so let her know a few days ahead of time what you will be doing. It is considerate to ask her if there is anything she wants to do but only if she says ‘I don’t know’ do you then bring up your plan’

And trust me, if you show up at her door saying ‘Guess what we are doing tonight’ chances are she will say ‘You should have let me know before, I am not dressed for it’. Trust me, something as innocent (to a man) as shooting pool will have a woman thinking ‘I should have worn a turtle neck instead of a V neck’ and make her not enjoy herself. (women worry when they have to bend over to take a shot how revealing they are being) Not to mention if there is walking involved and she is wearing heels, guess who will be carrying her all night

If it is nice, why not just get a couple of badminton rackets or roller blades or a basketball and go to a park with a net

Angie

 

[ASawyer]

There is somewhat of a point to that. Devout women are most beautiful when they are praying. If you are attracted to one, then it might not be wise to get too close when they are being beautiful like that.

It’s not as if I haven’t see her pray before. We were part of CCM and had the group prayer before meals and before leaving and we have been to evening Mass together several times because we are occasionally too lazy to get up in the morning for Mass (in which she usually goes with her parents and family). I have also been around her family too, between taking her and two of her younger siblings to the park, or going to one of her brothers baseball games with her, or going to the lake with her to keep her company since her brother brought two of his friends for his birthday.

In no means am I trying to get engaged to her, not at this point in our friendship, just trying to be respectful of her and her values. Don’t get me wrong, prayer is a deep thing, but being raised in a Baptist family we were used to praying in public, with strangers, etc. I didn’t mean to offend anyone with my comment about praying with her :/.

The ice cream place I had in mind is like a mile or so from the parish, figured we could park there and walk down to it. Gives plenty of time to talk and be goofy, and well, just enjoy each other. Then before we left, go inside and pray; whether that’s just a prayer of guidance, rosary, chaplet, w/e.

I just don’t want to step on any toes.

 

[underacloud]

I just don’t want to step on any toes.

It’s only her toes we’re worried about you stepping on, not ours.

I just think that prayer is serious business, whereas first dates should be anything but serious.

If you head to church for prayer at the end of your first date, it may come across as though you’re asking God to bless your relationship, and that may put a lot of pressure on her.

 

[QNDNNDQDCE]

Dinner and ice cream sounds like an eventful enough first date. I agree that asking her to pray could make her uncomfortable or send the wrong impression, but your idea of walkig down to the church is good. You don’t have to cram everything into one night. There will be others, God willing, and it is better to part early than to keep her out too long. “Withdraw thy foot from the house of thy neighbour, lest having his fill he hate thee.”

 

[cornbread_r2]

It’s tough to beat mini golf for a first date.

 

[Jon_S_1]

It’s only her toes we’re worried about you stepping on, not ours.

I just think that prayer is serious business, whereas first dates should be anything but serious.

If you head to church for prayer at the end of your first date, it may come across as though you’re asking God to bless your relationship, and that may put a lot of pressure on her.

Yes I agree.

I highly recommend something more engaging than just an ice cream and silent intimate prayer together. Just my 2 cents

 

[Cojuanco]

Hi, my name is Aaron and I’m 19. And recently I have taken a liking in one of my good friends who also is Catholic. Originally we were just going to have ice cream one night but I asked her to have dinner as well. Now we are going on a date. I have to admit, I’m a tad nervous because I have never dated a Catholic girl (other than a holiday Catholic prior to my conversion a year ago). We both love God and Church and everything the Church stands for.

So here’s the issue, she doesn’t like seeing movies in the theaters as she thinks they are overpriced and has no problem waiting til they come out on Netflix, etc. My first idea was to go to the parish after dinner and before walking down to this ice cream. Maybe pray with her.

I’d like any advice from what to do (like movies or some activity) to what we could pray together; like the rosary or a chaplet. Any idea is welcomed and appreciated . Thanks!

Picnic, perhaps a free concert if there is one in your local area.

And contrary to what others are saying, if you both wanna go to Mass or adoration, go ahead and do it! Of course you should respect her personal space, but that’s just common sense.

 

[slowconversion]

I am a 22-year-old, recently married Catholic, so that’s my perspective as I offer the following advice: I wouldn’t go to adoration or pray together on your first date, or first several dates, regardless of whether you’ve prayed together before in some setting (a prayer before a meal, Hail Mary if an ambulance passes, etc. would be fine). Mass, maybe, but I wouldn’t jump into the intimacy and seriousness of praying together alone right away. I would at least wait until you’ve been on several dates and have “defined the relationship” so to speak - and even after that I might wait longer. I agree with what others have said about private prayer with someone being a very intimate experience that probably isn’t a good idea at the very beginning of a relationship, and it just seems a little too serious to me for a first date. On my first few dates with my now-husband, we had coffee and played board games, went out to dinner and took a walk around the grounds and cemetery at our church. He planned those activities, and I think they’re great ideas - we were out in public, in daylight, having fun and sharing in some activity together. We didn’t go to adoration together or pray together (alone, that is) til we’d been seriously dating for awhile, and as a woman, I found it to be a very intimate, emotionally charged experience that probably would’ve done more harm than good early on in our dating.

 

[Rete]

It’s not as if I haven’t see her pray before. We were part of CCM and had the group prayer before meals and before leaving and we have been to evening Mass together several times because we are occasionally too lazy to get up in the morning for Mass (in which she usually goes with her parents and family). I have also been around her family too, between taking her and two of her younger siblings to the park, or going to one of her brothers baseball games with her, or going to the lake with her to keep her company since her brother brought two of his friends for his birthday.

In no means am I trying to get engaged to her, not at this point in our friendship, just trying to be respectful of her and her values. Don’t get me wrong, prayer is a deep thing, but being raised in a Baptist family we were used to praying in public, with strangers, etc. I didn’t mean to offend anyone with my comment about praying with her :/.

The ice cream place I had in mind is like a mile or so from the parish, figured we could park there and walk down to it. Gives plenty of time to talk and be goofy, and well, just enjoy each other. Then before we left, go inside and pray; whether that’s just a prayer of guidance, rosary, chaplet, w/e.

I just don’t want to step on any toes.

You didn’t offend any one with that. I was just pointing out that the poster before me was correct in that prayer is very intimate, and then noted that women can be extremely beautiful in that moment. I never saw that same quality when Protestant women pray. I am not saying their prayers are somehow less than, but there is something very different. If you think I am kidding, take a peek over at her when she shows up before mass and prays. Doing that together would be extremely intimate.

A group prayer is totally different, though. I think the walk is totally fine. So is going to church together. I just think you might want to avoid intimate prayer time.