Dating a non-Catholic, and the topic of sex came up

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JReiher

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I have been dating my gf for just over 2 years now. She is a non-denominational Christian and believes very strongly in her faith. I love her a lot, and she has agreed to come to church with me in the next few months, but that is a long way from conversion. We have been able to compromise on many topics, however there is one topic she will not budge on: sex. She believes that once a couple is married, they have the God-given right to have sex whenever they want; that sex is God’s gift to married couples. In my opinion, sexual intercourse is largely an Earthly pleasure and shouldn’t be taken that lightly. We have argued about this many times, and I would very much like to come to a solution. Is there any way solve this issue, or should I simply end it now?
 
ehm…I don´t really understand on which days you won´t have sex, but she? fasting times/special holidays?
 
I might be thinking about this all wrong, so just let me know if I am. We aren’t married yet. Once we are, she says that we can use contraceptives until we want to have kids so that we can have sex whenever we want. It’s a very complicated issue. I thought that raising children was God’s gift to married couples, but let me know if I’m wrong. Thank you for your replies!
 
You can have sex whenever you want. It is a gift, but you both must be open to the consequence. In other words, accept children lovingly from God.
They are also a gift. You don’t tell a gift-giver, gee I want that from you, but NOT NOW, Later.

peace.
 
Right. If you plan on marrying in the Catholic Church, you will have to discuss this with the priest during marriage prep…
 
Do not count on her converting or accepting that she should not use contraceptives…so, yeah, it might be a deal breaker. It’s too bad that you didn’t know this 2 years ago.
 
Avoid trying to solve this for everyone else. Focus you as a couple, and each of your expectations for your potential marriage.
 
JReiher said:
might be thinking about this all wrong, so just let me know if I am. We aren’t married yet. Once we are, she says that we can use contraceptives until we want to have kids so that we can have sex whenever we want. It’s a very complicated issue. I thought that raising children was God’s gift to married couples, but let me know if I’m wrong. Thank you for your replies!
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You can have sex whenever you want.

You can never contracept.

So, if she is set on contraception, I would say that’s a non-starter as far as a future marriage. So, yeah, probably not the girl for you. In fact, I would advise against marrying anyone who isn’t fully on board with the Church’s teaching on sexuality, and really believe what the Church teaches, because even if they agree to not use contraception, they may change their minds.
 
As it turns out, she is on board with the Church’s teachings on sexuality! I just discussed it with her and we now agree on a lot. Thank you for your help!
 
She is right. Married couples are allowed and owed to share in a sexual relationship

You may have a few issues that require counselling.
 
@JReiher I married a Baptist woman. I love her more than anything. Just know that through prayer and faith in God y’all can make it work. Communication with each other is key. Do not count on her converting. She may say she will, and even believe she will, but there are circumstances which may change her mind. There will be compromises, but do not compromise your faith. Be sure to respect hers as well. Good luck and God bless.
 
Blessings,
Well, after marriage, you can be as frisky as you want to be. Before kids, you can be like bunnies.
After kids, when kids are asleep and behind locked doors.
Get instruction on the rhythm method. If she has a regular menses, you can plot it out. There is eight days in which you can get pregnant.
The menstrual cycle, which is counted from the first day of one period to the first day of the next, isn’t the same for every woman. Menstrual flow might occur every 21 to 35 days and last two to seven days. For the first few years after menstruation begins, long cycles are common.

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You can discuss her menstrual cycle now. Knowing her pattern is important.
If a cycle is 30 Days. Divide by 2 to find Center day. 30/2=15. Check what date the 15 th day between cycles is—-Jan 28 to Feb 28. That’s 31 Days= 15!is acceptable. Go back 4 Days. That’s Feb. 11. Count front 4 Days=Feb 19th. Those are the days she is ovulating.
A sperm lives 5-7days. An egg lives 12 yo 24 hours.
If a sperm lives 5-7 Days and if you enjoy sex within those 7 Days=you’ll be parents. Natural birth control is taught by church. The color of mucus membrane changes. She gets a whitish discharge. Her temp will go up the day before.
They have devices I’m told that help you plot this out. I’m sure, worth their weight in gold.
Now, Pope Benedict XVI gave permission for condom use to prevent disease. Is that still in effect? Pope Francis gave permission for birth control w Zika virus. Is that still in effect?
It’ll be fun researching all this.
Will she let you raise kids Catholic??
In Christ’s love
Tweedlealice
 
JReiher said:
As it turns out, she is on board with the Church’s teachings on sexuality! I just discussed it with her and we now agree on a lot. Thank you for your help!
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That’s an awfully big turn around in an awfully short amount of time.

Did you misunderstand her position before?
 
tweedlealice said:
Get instruction on the rhythm method. If she has a regular menses, you can plot it out. There is eight days in which you can get pregnant.

The menstrual cycle, which is counted from the first day of one period to the first day of the next, isn’t the same for every woman. Menstrual flow might occur every 21 to 35 days and last two to seven days. For the first few years after menstruation begins, long cycles are common.
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You know what they call married ladies who use the rhythm method? Mom.

This is very outdated, unscientific advice.

Modern Natural Family Planning or Fertility Awareness Methods are part of marriage preparation in just about every Diocese. If not, the couple can research methods from Billings to the high-tech Daisy, from Sympto Thermal to Marquette and the low tech Billings method.
 
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