Dating a non-practicing Catholic - Tempted to pre-marital sex

  • Thread starter Thread starter briang72
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
B

briang72

Guest
I am starting a new thread on this topic. It was inspired by an old thread that I have since learned should no longer be active 🤷

This is a hypothetical situation. A Catholic man has been dating a non-practicing Catholic woman for a while. The woman is well aware of the man’s strong adherence to Church teaching on pre-marital sex, yet she still tempts the man to have pre-marital sex.

What would your advice be to the man in this relationship?

My response would be to break up with her. This response is biased based on my own experience in life. The occasion of sin is very dangerous. Perhaps this woman could be brought back to the Church and acceptance of this teaching, but I would not advise the man to try to do this while in an intimate relationship with the woman.
 
If I were dating someone who pressured me for sex I would break up immediately.
 
briang72 said:
I am starting a new thread on this topic. It was inspired by an old thread that I have since learned should no longer be active 🤷

This is a hypothetical situation. A Catholic man has been dating a non-practicing Catholic woman for a while. The woman is well aware of the man’s strong adherence to Church teaching on pre-marital sex, yet she still tempts the man to have pre-marital sex.

What would your advice be to the man in this relationship?

My response would be to break up with her. This response is biased based on my own experience in life. The occasion of sin is very dangerous. Perhaps this woman could be brought back to the Church and acceptance of this teaching, but I would not advise the man to try to do this while in an intimate relationship with the woman.
Click to expand...
I’m thinking I tell her I’m on the bench for now and nothing else. That puts the ball back in her court, and if it makes her mad enough to leave, then so be it.

Man, times changed since I was single man.:yup:
 
Same as my advise to her would be if the situation were reversed.

“It’s my way, or the highway”

In any relationship there are those things that are nice to have, and those things that are mandatory. Acceptance and respect for one’s character falls into the mandatory category. To ask another to compromise his or her core or most deeply held principles shows an utter lack of respect, and a profound selfishness. It goes to the heart of disrespecting the dignity of the other person in a relationship.

And one more thing. I wouldn’t give him any advise. If he would choose to throw away his deepest held principles, all the advise in the world isn’t going to do him much good.

Look, any dating relationship between sexually healthy adults is, in effect, an occasion of sin. And chastity belts have gone out of style.

MY two cents.
 
joeybaggz said:
Look, any dating relationship between sexually healthy adults is, in effect, an occasion of sin. And chastity belts have gone out of style.

MY two cents.
Click to expand...
I agree whole-heartedly. But, if one of the people is pouring gasoline on the fire, it is all the more difficult to resist the temptation.
40.png
BamaRider:
I’m thinking I tell her I’m on the bench for now and nothing else. That puts the ball back in her court, and if it makes her mad enough to leave, then so be it.
Click to expand...
This is probably a better way of attacking it. Rather than an outright break-up, maybe stepping back and putting a hold on things is a better idea. Give her a chance to understand and respect your position.
 
Why would someone (aka practicing Catholic) date a non-practicing Catholic in the first place? 🤷
 
1ke said:
Why would someone (aka practicing Catholic) date a non-practicing Catholic in the first place? 🤷
Click to expand...
Good point 1ke. Has the pool of young or old, single Catholic adults shrunk so much that this is norm?🤷
 
1ke said:
Why would someone (aka practicing Catholic) date a non-practicing Catholic in the first place? 🤷
Click to expand...
Excellent question. Its just not a wise decision, but it happens. The emotions take over the decision-making process. One thing I have learned is that emotions can fade fast, and true love goes much deeper than emotions.
 
Yes! In the part of the country I live in, we have only a few single Catholics! However, one is called sister and the other one is called father!

🙂
 
briang72 said:
I am starting a new thread on this topic. It was inspired by an old thread that I have since learned should no longer be active 🤷

This is a hypothetical situation. A Catholic man has been dating a non-practicing Catholic woman for a while. The woman is well aware of the man’s strong adherence to Church teaching on pre-marital sex, yet she still tempts the man to have pre-marital sex.

What would your advice be to the man in this relationship?

My response would be to break up with her. This response is biased based on my own experience in life. The occasion of sin is very dangerous. Perhaps this woman could be brought back to the Church and acceptance of this teaching, but I would not advise the man to try to do this while in an intimate relationship with the woman.
Click to expand...
Tell him to remind the woman that the sinfulness of fornication does not only apply to Catholics.
 
I was dating a woman who goes to Mass every Sunday. I even met her on a Christian dating site. However, she still seemed to think there was no problem with pre-marital sex, even though she knows the Catholic Church teaches that it is a sin. Every time we met she would bring up sex. I stopped seeing her for these reasons.
 
I think it would be necessary to end the relationship, if it impedes your Christian walk, and impedes your ability to refrain from temptation. No one forces us to sin–we choose it, but we shouldn’t remain in situations where someone is tempting us to sin. If someone intially had a sexual past–but is willing to follow chastity with YOU, in your relationship, then that would not be grounds for breaking up. It really boils down to being with someone who becomes detrimental to your chastity walk…if the person was unwilling to change, then the relationship would be better ended.
 
If this dating partner does not share ones moral convictions with regard to pre-marital sex, it is quite likely there will be other unshared values that will surface later on in the relationship. One of them may be the permanency of the marriage bond. Hang on to your virginity against her wishes until marriage and then “boom” after a couple of years good-bye I’m off to greener pastures. While I am an old fogey who still believes it is better to marry in one’s own faith, I would say you would be better off with a practicing Christian from another faith that at least shares your values.
 
This is the exact reason that when you are dating someone and searching for a future spouse you need to seek out those that have the same moral/faith groundwork that you currently have. In seeking someone that does not, you will continue to run into problems like this. The problems will not end with the wedding vows, they may just be beginning.
 
briang72 said:
I

This is a hypothetical situation. A Catholic man has been dating a non-practicing Catholic woman for a while. The woman is well aware of the man’s strong adherence to Church teaching on pre-marital sex, yet she still tempts the man to have pre-marital sex.

What would your advice be to the man in this relationship?
.
Click to expand...
the gentleman is dating a woman, to the point of considering serious life-long commitment, who not only does not share the values closest to his heart, but actively attacks, disdains and demeans those values. that does not sound like the basis for a healthy relationship of any kind, including friendship.
 
i have a similar question but lets say that both are non-participating Catholics. the girl is a little more conservative, in the sense that she still prays but doesn’t go to church that much and a traditional view of relationships meaning sex until marriage.the girl is a virgin, the guy isn’t. they both do agree to wait as much as possible for sex.the guy he isn’t forcing her he just says he would like to some day and he is willing to wait until she is ready. they both have urges but prefer to foreplay to ease tension.
any advice, recommendation, etc?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top