Dating a Protestant pastor

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He is not just a Protestant. He is a Protestant pastor. When he is the head of the household, with awareness of his own authority, he WILL take it, and there goes the Catholic upbringing of the children. Most run-of-the-mill Protestant husbands would probably do it as you describe. Not this one. If he is a pastor worth his salt, he WILL be a stumbling block to his family’s Catholic faith.

And this is not “may” or speculation. This is a foregone conclusion. His faith, while having elements in common, is actually opposed to the Catholic faith. For one in authority in that particular faith, this is NOT a good thing in the making.

That’s why I speak only to this situation, not others.
 
My thought is “how can anyone take those associated with Jimmy Swaggart seriously?” You must know what Jimmy Swaggart is famous for.
 
When I’ve asked about his experience, he’s said he learned allot but also had to take allot of what he learned and cast it away. He didn’t exactly agree with all the dogma.
 
I’ve often thought about becoming a Deacon. However, my wife if Jewish and so far refuses to allow me to raise my kids Catholic (we married when I was away from the Church).

The pain of not having Catholic Children hurts me greatly, but the thought of being a Catholic Deacon with non-Catholic children concerns me greatly about the possibility of being a Deacon.

While it’s not a requirement, if I were to become a Deacon with a Jewish wife and non-Catholic Children, how can I expect parishioners to take me seriously when talking about evangelization and the truths of the Catholic Church? And while it may not be an issue for everyone, I can easily see it being an issue for some people in the pews.

So even if he has no issue with your Catholic faith, it MAY cause him stress with his flock. And since Protestants go wherever they like the preacher, your faith may or may not negatively impact his job as a protestant minister.

NOTE: I’m not saying you should break up right now. Give him time to explore the Catholic faith too see if he may want to convert. Who knows, perhaps he might one day become a Catholic Deacon?

However, regardless, it is very important for the two of you to remember that this would be more than a simple mixed marriage as long as his remains a Protestant minister.

God Bless and God speed!
 
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Trust me, this is easier said than done.

As someone in a interfaith marriage, what I thought and how I felt before we got married has changed after having kids.

It is VERY HARD for a person of faith to sit back and watch their own children be raised in another faith without it causing them heartache, sorrow, and regret.
 
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My Catholic grandma married a Protestant in the 1930s. Her whole family criticised her. They said she wasn’t really married. One of the family used to line up the grandchildren and give them pocket money and miss out my mother in the line because they saw her as an outsider. I grew up without a faith until I was 14/15 when I was led into a Methodist youth group and got saved thanks to Godly Protestants. I’m now catholic after doing an RCIA. I’ve come home. This would never have happened without holy Protestants guiding me to know Jesus. If a Godly man wants to marry you there are worse things in the world. Look at the fruit of this person . I’d be the last person to tell you not to marry a Protestant if my grandma had listened id have never been born. Praise God
 
Well I’ve asked him several times is he sure he wants to still see me. I know what this entails. I know how it could end. That’s why I was straight forward since the very beginning I will not convert or try to be converted. Neither will my kids. He hasn’t tried, but his family has with like I said little things. They’ve even got mad at him for telling them to stay out of it it’s our relationship. He’s a good guy. He really is, but I do know that he has agreed to find a common ground. Even if we where to have kids, has agreed to me to baptize them. Personally I think it’s because he doesn’t think I know that deep down inside him he doesn’t believe our baptism valid anyway because a baby can’t make a public confession of faith. I know this is a huge stumbling block not just for me but for him as well. And I pray always about the situation, and every time I talk to him about our faith he always listens and comes off as understanding, even asks questions like what does the Catholic Church teach on this or that and I’ll explain to him even using the Bible to show why we do or believe things. I’ve even heard him preach on things we’ve talked about in his sermons! He’s even preached on accepting other who Serve the lord. He’s told his congregation put all the differences aside and serve together. I think he got an Amen out of me on that day.
 
I think these things are very concerning and you should seek counsel from your priest BEFORE you get any closer to marrying. Of course you would need to do premarital preparation before marriage, but even before that-- there is a LOT going on here.

Especially if you are still of child bearing age and contemplate having children with him. THAT would be a very difficult future. You will need to raise your children Catholic, and he would likely not want to do that. Also having anti-Catholic ideas in the household is not healthy for you, your current children, or future children.

I also wonder long term at how happy he will be with a wife who is not a member of his church and if that will put any pressure on him as pastor. Usually pastor’s wives lead the women or the singing or the children or bible study groups, etc. There are a lot of pastor’s wives and children who are expected to be models of their church.

Mixed marriages are difficult at best. This one sounds particularly fraught with issues and landmines.

Have you talked about the practice of your faith and future children?
 
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Beliefs change.

The most important thing to consider is… does he respect you? Does he stand up for you (when others are disparaging your faith, does he step in?)? Is he patient? Is he kind? Does he show love and compassion towards your children? Does he try to impose his faith on them (even in subtle ways)? Does he put your needs above his own? Does he value your (name removed by moderator)ut?

Who he is at his core, how he treats you (subtly and overtly) will be the indicator of how he will behave after marriage.

Stop attending the Protestant church UNLESS/UNTIL he attends Mass with you and/or agrees to do something overtly Catholic to show his support of you (prayer the rosary with you or something). This one-sided support is not wise or healthy.
 
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Since his family started the church and asked him to be the pastor, there is a lot of family pressure here. It all comes down to how you and he will handle that pressure. As others have mentioned, if you marry and become the pastor’s wife, you will be under the microscope. More than likely, the congregation will have strong opinions which could lead to division. (our pastor is married to a non-christian, etc.) How will you and he handle this? Will he be asked to give up pastoring the church? On another note - you mention daughters. If you were married, has your marriage been annulled?
 
No no no no no no!

You NEVER use marriage as a tool to hopefully convert or change someone. Absolutely not.

He is a Protestant pastor. If he is one worth his salt, he will not stand by and allow his family to remain Catholic.

If he is to convert, he must convert out of conviction, not because he wants to keep this relationship. Unless this happens, this relationship must end.

I will stand firm on this.
 
A slight detour here from the OP’s question, but would your wife even support you becoming a deacon?
 
Mreyrey said:
I’ve been dating a non denominational bible Christian Protestant pastor. I knew him before he was a pastor and he has changed his life around and went to a jimmy swaggart bible college and his family started a church and asked him to pastor it. Now my question is I am a practicing Catholic and I attend mass every Sunday me and my daughters. And after mass I will go to his church as a support and listen to him preach.
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🤔 What is really going on?
Dating a Protestant Pastor:
I no longer let my children attend the other kids because they where told that non Christians (Catholics) would not be raptured, as they believe in a pre trib rapture. Also one asked my daughter how she knew so much and she said well I’m catholic and she was told you mean you where a catholic your a Christian now? And my daughter told her no I’m a catholic Christian! And she asked her so you haven’t left the church yet? And my daughter told her I will never leave the church. She also told her the reason she knows so much is because we read the same book (bible) lol little smart allec humor of my twelve year old.
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I like your daughter’s spunk, knowledge, and intellect 🤟😃 Knowing what he believes and is teaching as a pastor of his congregation, and that it is NOT good for your daughter to be around this, what exactly then, is in it for you?
Dating a Protestant Pastor:
Anyway am I wrong for attending there service after mass? I don’t allow my children to learn from them nor do I accept some of there dogma which I am not afraid to say so.
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There’s your answer. Move on
Dating a Protestant pastor:
Though they may have a similar foundation in Christ, they lack much on many other issues. This hasn’t exactly drove a wedge in between my relationship as I am very stern about not leaving my catholic faith, but it has made rocky ground for me and his family because sometimes they can be anti catholic.
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The wedge is already there. Do you think he will give up what he is doing?
Dating a Protestant Pastor:
I tell him all the time preach the gospel but don’t be anti catholic, we are trying to find a common ground because I told him he would have to marry me I’m the church so I can keep my sacraments. But I think he prays for my conversion. Am I in for one?
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Since you bring that point up, Are you a widow, or are you divorced and your previous marriage annulled?

either way, you’ll do well to Find a Catholic.
 
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I don’t ask him to give up what he’s doing, like I’ve said I’ve been stern on the fact that I’m not leaving my faith and my kids will be catholic. He choose to accept that. It’s his family that cannot. I go down to his church after mass you know Jesus two most important commandments love the lord with all your heart and soul then second love your neighbor as yourself. So I attend mass for adoration first then I’ll go support his sermon. They have the kids go learn separately from the sermon, I don’t allow my kids to go with them anymore after what was said to my daughter. She was also told she wasn’t allowed to speak to my kids like that. He said I had every right to be upset and he doesn’t agree with what was said to her.
 
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