Dating advice

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1AspiringSaint1

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Hey all, just here looking for some helpful advice on dating.

So I recently started dating this girl, and we’ve been dating for a little over 2 weeks now. I am in my 20s, and she is actually my first girlfriend, so I am really new to this whole experience. We have only hugged one another, held hands, and I occasionally put my arm around her when sitting on the couch.Things are going really well so far, but I feel like societal pressures are starting to get to me a little now. For some reason, I kept thinking that I need to kiss her soon, and if I don’t she won’t think I “love” her.

But after doing a little bit of prayer and meditation, I realized that I may have been doing some things the wrong way. It is quite possible, that with only a few weeks of dating, I don’t actually love her right? Dating is the process by which we discover if we would like to marry a certain person, and should allow for a relationship to form. I mean, our society is so focused on portraying sex as love, that many people don’t even know what love is anymore. Doing lots of kissing, touching, and having sex so early in the dating process, is not a relationship at all. Kissing her, just because I feel like I have to, would seem to be pretty disrespectful to her human dignity and worth in my opinion.

Obviously I really like her and enjoy her company, and I want her to know this. So holding her hand, giving her hugs/compliments etc. in order to express these thoughts would seem to be morally okay, as long as it doesn’t involve into immoral acts/intentions (holding her hand only b/c I want to arouse her/be aroused myself).

Eventually, when the time is right, a quick kiss would seem appropriate, and probably shouldn’t be something I plan ahead of time correct? It would seem that the proper way to go about this is to sort of allow for it to gradually happen, that way it is mutually accepted.

So I guess what I am asking is… am I right in my line of thinking?

Please pray for me and for her, that we me learn how to grow closer to one another and to God, and that the love between us and God may be one that is meaningful and true. Thanks
 
Sounds like you are on the right track. She is a fortunate young lady to have such a respectful boyfriend.
 
Sounds like you have exactly the right approach and it’s lovely to hear !
 
Odds are you don’t love her yet. At least, you shouldn’t. If you fell in love with someone after only a few weeks, that would be cause for concern. That should be something that grows over time as you get to know each other. Don’t confuse love with infatuation. Infatuation is just the first rung on the ladder.

Anyway, there isn’t a deadline by which you must kiss her. So don’t stress and overthink it. That said…if you don’t for a long enough time, she may wonder about the relationship. She may start to think you view her as just a friend as opposed to a girlfriend. She may wonder if you aren’t attracted to her.

If you’re nervous, maybe consider just being honest with her. Tell her you like her, you’re attracted to her, but you don’t want to jeopardize things by getting too physical. You just don’t want to send the message that you view th
 
Yes, you are right and very respectful. There are many ways to show you care. Women appreciate iit when you listen to them without interrupting and ask questions.

You let her choose the restaurant or the movie. Laugh at her jokes. Give her a fllower. Write a poem for her when you are ready. Get to know her family. Bake her some cookies.

The kiss will come naturally when the time is right. No need to rush.
 
1AspiringSaint1 said:
Hey all, just here looking for some helpful advice on dating.

So I recently started dating this girl, and we’ve been dating for a little over 2 weeks now. I am in my 20s, and she is actually my first girlfriend, so I am really new to this whole experience. We have only hugged one another, held hands, and I occasionally put my arm around her when sitting on the couch.Things are going really well so far, but I feel like societal pressures are starting to get to me a little now. For some reason, I kept thinking that I need to kiss her soon, and if I don’t she won’t think I “love” her.

But after doing a little bit of prayer and meditation, I realized that I may have been doing some things the wrong way. It is quite possible, that with only a few weeks of dating, I don’t actually love her right? Dating is the process by which we discover if we would like to marry a certain person, and should allow for a relationship to form. I mean, our society is so focused on portraying sex as love, that many people don’t even know what love is anymore. Doing lots of kissing, touching, and having sex so early in the dating process, is not a relationship at all. Kissing her, just because I feel like I have to, would seem to be pretty disrespectful to her human dignity and worth in my opinion.

Obviously I really like her and enjoy her company, and I want her to know this. So holding her hand, giving her hugs/compliments etc. in order to express these thoughts would seem to be morally okay, as long as it doesn’t involve into immoral acts/intentions (holding her hand only b/c I want to arouse her/be aroused myself).

Eventually, when the time is right, a quick kiss would seem appropriate, and probably shouldn’t be something I plan ahead of time correct? It would seem that the proper way to go about this is to sort of allow for it to gradually happen, that way it is mutually accepted.

So I guess what I am asking is… am I right in my line of thinking?

Please pray for me and for her, that we me learn how to grow closer to one another and to God, and that the love between us and God may be one that is meaningful and true. Thanks
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don’t overthink it, there’s no pressure to do something you’re not ready for just to make it fast or conform to some social norm.

if you eventually feel the time is right for a kiss, you will know

and also, yes, you are most likely not in love after two weeks
 
The videos found on Sensus Fidelium on Youtube might make you feel good about your wanting to take things slowly.

youtu.be/r1V4w38v2mI 4 stages of Courtship by Fr. Ripperger

Company Keeping: youtu.be/MxgRMMSIQVk by another priest.

I wish they were around when I was a young person.

God Bless you and the young lady.
 
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