Dating Age Difference

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I don’t date women who are older than me, because there’s always the chance that she could be what you Americans call a “cougar”.
 
My husband is 4.5 months older than me. We started dating in college after meeting in a class. I like it, because we are hitting milestones, etc together.

I had a boyfriend in high school two years older than me, and he was wonderful too. However, once he left for college that age difference became a much bigger deal and eventually was part of the reason we parted ways.

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nodito said:
Meh… I don’t agree.
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I don’t either. My mom was two years older than my dad, and I’m 3 and half years older than my husband. If the rest of the relationship is operating on all cylinders, an age gap in either direction doesn’t matter.
 
PatriceA said:
I don’t either. My mom was two years older than my dad, and I’m 3 and half years older than my husband. If the rest of the relationship is operating on all cylinders, an age gap in either direction doesn’t matter.
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So it’s okay if an older woman dates/marries a younger man? :eek:
 
Crescentinus said:
I don’t date women who are older than me, because there’s always the chance that she could be what you Americans call a “cougar”.
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That…doesn’t make any sense. Age isn’t going to have a substantial impact as to whether a woman is pursuing a sexual relationship, character is.
 
Crescentinus said:
How so? o:
confused
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This might be a cultural difference.

When I was single, I didn’t ask someone how old they were before I got to know them. I looked for the way they conducted themselves…were they honest, were they dependable, were they responsible, were they living out their faith values and morals, how did they treat others, etc, etc. Age doesn’t guarantee any of that. People are so much more than just a biological number. If you look at someone’s age first and then dismiss them because they don’t meet some kind of age range you’ve constructed in your mind, then you are missing out on getting to know some really great people and maybe even your potential spouse.

I still do this with my friends, my friends span all ages. I don’t age discriminate.
 
PatriceA said:
This might be a cultural difference.

When I was single, I didn’t ask someone how old they were before I got to know them. I looked for the way they conducted themselves…were they honest, were they dependable, were they responsible, were they living out their faith values and morals, how did they treat others, etc, etc. Age doesn’t guarantee any of that. People are so much more than just a biological number. If you look at someone’s age first and then dismiss them because they don’t meet some kind of age range you’ve constructed in your mind, then you are missing out on getting to know some really great people and maybe even your potential spouse.

I still do this with my friends, my friends span all ages. I don’t age discriminate.
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In my case, there’s two reasons.
  1. Here in the Far East, younger women are generally seen as more desirable marriage-wise than older women.
  2. I am trying to avoid what you Americans call a “cougar”. And by that, I do not mean the animal kind.
 
Crescentinus said:
In my case, there’s two reasons.
  1. Here in the Far East, younger women are generally seen as more desirable marriage-wise than older women.
  2. I am trying to avoid what you Americans call a “cougar”. And by that, I do not mean the animal kind.
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  1. I already said I thought it was a cultural difference
  2. What is your definition of a “cougar”?
 
PatriceA said:
  1. I already said I thought it was a cultural difference
  2. What is your definition of a “cougar”?
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  1. Of course, there are exceptions. 🙂
  2. Cougar, as in the sexually active older women who are mostly from the Far West.
 
Most women in the States are sexually active. There are many who are chaste. One’s age has no bearing on whether they are prepared to be chaste in a dating relationship.

I’m older than my husband, too, and we’ve been happily married for almost 5 years. He’d laugh if you told him he married a cougar. We were both virgins when we married, and none of my friends would use that term anyway.
 
Crescentinus said:
  1. Of course, there are exceptions. 🙂
  2. Cougar, as in the sexually active older women who are mostly from the Far West.
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Well why would you date a sexually active woman of any age for that matter. But “cougars” are by definition an older woman that is dating a man young enough to be her son. A woman a few years older than you wouldn’t meet that definition. Why wouldn’t you date a woman say only 3 or 4 years older than you if she was chaste and met all your other aspects you are looking for in a wife?
 
PatriceA said:
Well why would you date a sexually active woman of any age for that matter. But “cougars” are by definition an older woman that is dating a man young enough to be her son. A woman a few years older than you wouldn’t meet that definition. Why wouldn’t you date a woman say only 3 or 4 years older than you if she was chaste and met all your other aspects you are looking for in a wife?
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So women who are a few years older than me are not cougars? That’s a relief! 🙂
So why do I not date women who are a few years older than me? Simple. It’s because if one is a couple of years shy of 30, then it’s the typical age where one sees many a marriage here in the Far East. For all we know, they could already be married. :eek:
 
Crescentinus said:
So women who are a few years older than me are not cougars? That’s a relief! 🙂
So why do I not date women who are a few years older than me? Simple. It’s because if one is a couple of years shy of 30, then it’s the typical age where one sees many a marriage here in the Far East. For all we know, they could already be married. :eek:
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I feel like your understanding of dating and marriage is sort of… immature. If someone is married, of course you wouldn’t date them. There are plenty of young women under 30 who are not married.
 
nodito said:
I feel like your understanding of dating and marriage is sort of… immature. If someone is married, of course you wouldn’t date them. There are plenty of young women under 30 who are not married.
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True, but I am just careful. To me, dating a sexually active woman again is unacceptable.
 
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