Dating and Proselitism

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asquared:
The good thing here is that you are backing her up, she is communicating with you, and you and she can evaluate together what is going on so she can draw her own conclusions.
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Today the boy came over to apologize for his mother. We accepted it and reminded that we still want to talk to her mother.

We did commend him on doing the right thing and encouraged him to be our daughter’s “champion”, shielding her from his mother, without disrespecting her, of course.

We also made it clear to him that this proselitism has to stop, to which he answered that he was just doing what his mother insisted him to do. We’ll see, but he’s been warned.

All in all, I’m satisfied with him. Now we need to get his mother to stop avoiding my wife and meeting with her.

God bless y’all for your support and suggestions.
 
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Augustine:
Today the boy came over to apologize for his mother. We accepted it and reminded that we still want to talk to her mother.

We did commend him on doing the right thing and encouraged him to be our daughter’s “champion”, shielding her from his mother, without disrespecting her, of course.

We also made it clear to him that this proselitism has to stop, to which he answered that he was just doing what his mother insisted him to do. We’ll see, but he’s been warned.

All in all, I’m satisfied with him. Now we need to get his mother to stop avoiding my wife and meeting with her.

God bless y’all for your support and suggestions.
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Sounds like mama wants her cake and eat it too. The mother of this boy is being extremely manipulative. It is her desire that her future daughter-in-law be “like” them. She is really trying to drive her away. This is what I suspect, anyway. If your daughter does not “convert” then she can manipulate her son to drop her or this “show” of over zealoustness is just a rouse to get rid of her. The mother probably has a girl in her church she has her eye on for him and is hoping that he will view your daughter in a different light. She is trying to emphasis that she (your daughter) is not worthy because she will not accept God on their terms. This is a very slick lady and her ploy just might blow up in her face. Her son just might turn around and become a Catholic.

I would suggest you just stay cool and true to yourselves. Don’t be demanding. I have the impression your daughter is already on to them. If this boy truly loves her he will not force her to convert or else. If he does this it is obvious that this is not the right mate for your daughter. If their love can survive his mother’s manipulative “attacks” then they will be a stronger couple for it. This is a turning and growing point in their relationship. If they can get past this they will probably be OK. The boy seems to have his heart in the right place. Maybe you should invite him to attend Mass and be ready to answer his questions. Let him know your church doors are always open to him with no strings attached.
 
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Augustine:
This weekend she was invited for a “party” at his house with his family. In the end, it turned out to be a ruse to corner her. They spent 2h watching a video and yelling back at it in much a way seen in the film “The Apostle”, which is quite weird for any Catholic. Then, his mother cornered her and asked her somehing that wen along the lines of accepting Jesus Chirst. At her answer that this was a very unusual question, she asked my daughter to pray together, what my daughter agreed to. After which, to my daughter astonishment, she went aloud asking everybody to thank for her conversion. Needless to say, I’m outraged at this tactic.

My daughter was outraged too and is thinking about breaking up with him. If she doesn’t I’ll have the boy over for a very serious conversation about undercutting our authority in such a sleazy way.
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This happened to me in college. I had been invited to a Campus Crusade for Christ meeting by a friend who reassured me that “of course Catholics are welcome!” Went to a few of the meetings, met several super-nice people, and as I was a freshman away from home, I was happy to make new friends.

One day, they stopped by my dorm room unexpected and uninvited. They sat me down and asked me if I would pray with them. I never say no if someone asks me to pray with or for them, so I did. One of them led the group in a prayer, we all said Amen, and then they all started congratulating me on being “saved” and accepting Jesus, and handed me a Protestant bible. (They all knew I was Catholic, and I had then and still have a copy of the NAB.) Needless to say, I didn’t go to any more meetings or associate with them again. I felt hurt and insulted, and like I had been tricked. I understand that they didn’t mean any harm, but it was still disrespectful and somewhat deceitful (they hadn’t told me that they were “saving” me).

I wish these deceit tactics weren’t so common. “By any means necessary”, including evasion, trickery, and omission of information, doesn’t seem fair or Christian.
 
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