Dating and Religion

[Joseph_L_Varga]

I mean, obviously you want to look at how good of a spouse some person would be. And if they are non-Catholic… well, wouldn’t run into a whoooole lot of problems?

Yes, I agree, you WILL run into a whole lot of problems. And if you are a serious Catholic, you better discuss the issues and see whether you can come to an agreement, BEFORE you get deeply involved on an emotional level, and possibly end up with your heart broken, because in the end the two of you are unable to find common ground. For example, where do you baptize the children God may bless you with? Your potential spouse may insist to baptize and raise the children in his/her Church, while you have a DUTY to baptize your children in the Catholic Church, and raise them as Catholics. If your date is not willing to do that, you may as well quit dating her right there. Also, will the two of you agree not to use artificial birth control? ABC is forbidden to us Catholics, but almost all Protestant and Orthodox Churches are OK with it. What if your potential spouse is also cool with In vitro fertilization, sex selection (selective abortion of embryos of the unwanted gender), and abortion in general? If so, you better run away, and run fast! I have learned recently that Southern Baptists, for example, were in favor of abortion in the 1970s and even in favor of taxpayer-funded abortion, before they turned pro-life more recently. Also, where will you attend church on Sundays? My uncle is Presbyterian, married to a Catholic woman, and they attend church alternately at the two places. In their case, this works because ecumenical relations in my native city and area are extremely good, we mutually respect each other, and nobody bashes the other person’s religion. But this is not the case always and everywhere. For example, many Protestants are extremely anti-Catholic, and when I dated a Russian Orthodox woman, I came to the point after some time that visiting her church felt like getting into a giant fishtank full of piranhas, eager to bite you and devour you. How are you going to handle that, if the Church of your potential spouse is very anti-Catholic?

 

[manualman]

I’m with the OP. This is your lifelong mate, folks. Why couple forever with someone who doesn’t share the same central, most important beliefs? I walked the walk too. I came to this conclusion senior year in college when I was dating an evangelical former catholic. Came to realize what a barrier it would be and broke it off. Could we have maybe worked around it? Sure! Other folks are evidence of that. She was a great and faithful woman. Today she’s an evangelical missionary in Siberia (!) wreaking havoc amongst our Russian Orthodox brethren.

But I discerned that God had a better match in store for me. Took another 6 years after that, but I found her! Who cares what the odds are? Odds are nothing to God. He’ll either serve you up a compatible mate or call you to exclusive relationship to Him. He’s not the type to simply leave you hanging for no good reason.

 

[torch621]

My current lady love is a non-Catholic (Methodist) who plans on converting soon. She’s dead set on becoming a Catholic, so I don’t think I’ll be running into many problems.

 

[brina1416]

Marrying someone of the same religion as me and holds the same values is very important to me. Only recently did I think this way. For example marrying and or dating a guy who is Catholic but thinks abortion is okay wouldn’t be the ideal relationship to me. I don’t believe that “mixed” marriages can’t still work out but it will definitely be harder especially one who is a serious Catholic. But then again marrige in general is hard work.

 

[justamoose89]

Remember, the Bible tells us to “not be unequally yolked”. (2 Corinthians 6:14). But I also believe that can mean different things. I once dated a man who was Catholic, but he was very apathetic about his faith. Now I am very close to a man who is a non-denominational Christian, and has a passion for the Lord like I’ve seen in no other man. We pray together often and are accountable to each other, unlike my relationship with the Catholic, who had no interest in God at all. I believe I am more equally yolked with this protestant than I was with my former apathetic Catholic boyfriend.

 

[manualman]

Remember, the Bible tells us to “not be unequally yolked”. (2 Corinthians 6:14). But I also believe that can mean different things. I once dated a man who was Catholic, but he was very apathetic about his faith. Now I am very close to a man who is a non-denominational Christian, and has a passion for the Lord like I’ve seen in no other man. We pray together often and are accountable to each other, unlike my relationship with the Catholic, who had no interest in God at all. I believe I am more equally yolked with this protestant than I was with my former apathetic Catholic boyfriend.

But whatcha gonna do when your first baby comes along and he says the child cannot be baptized because “the bible teaches that baptism must come AFTER a person accepts the faith” and then points out that there will be nocompromise because “the bible teaches that the man is the head of his household?”

There’s no doubt that boyfriend B is a better catch than boyrfriend A was. What I suggest is to pray for one who is BOTH faith filled AND catholic.

 

[justamoose89]

But whatcha gonna do when your first baby comes along and he says the child cannot be baptized because “the bible teaches that baptism must come AFTER a person accepts the faith” and then points out that there will be nocompromise because “the bible teaches that the man is the head of his household?”

There’s no doubt that boyfriend B is a better catch than boyrfriend A was. What I suggest is to pray for one who is BOTH faith filled AND catholic.

Of course, I agree you need to think ahead when you are dating, especially when it comes to kids. If you are a Catholic, then you should not get involved with someone unless they are willing to let you raise your kids Catholic. That is something that needs to be agreed upon way beforehand.

 

[Gearoidin]

If the Catholic church forbade the marriage of Catholics to non-Catholics I don’t know what would happen to the church in countries where Catholics, and Christians for that matter, are in the minority. When I moved to Japan I was almost 26. There were zero single men aged between 24-34 in my parish. There was only 1 married couple within that age group. Marriage to non-Christians (Buddhist/Shinto) is the norm in my parish. About 50-60% of the time the non-Catholic spouse converts. There is rarely any opposition from the non-Catholic spouse to bringing any children up Catholic but it is still not easy.
Gearoidin