Dating and sin

[Robert_Caritas]

Hello all,

I’m looking for some advice about avoiding sin in a dating situation. Since I’ve been practicing Catholicism seriously I have been in this situation for the first time, and there has certainly been a learning curve on how to approach this.

At first I committed a few mortal sins, or at least grave ones, but as I kept going to confession I learned how to avoid these situations completely. Now, I’m struggling with borderline situations. I’m really not sure what is a sin and what isn’t in subtler situations

As I said, I have managed to avoid the temptation to do anything overtly sexual and that I could easily recognize as sinful, but when it comes to simple non-French kissing I’m not sure when the line has been crossed. I really think that it is possible to sinfully kiss without being overtly sexual, but I have no idea how to recognize it!

I like the girl that I am dating, and at least a few kisses every now and then are very important to her so I want to figure this out. She is also learning about chastity for the first time, so we’re kind of figuring it out together.

Thanks for your point of view!

  Robert

 

[Bookcat]

First off – it is wonderful that you are seeking to follow Jesus Christ faithfully! Remain close to him (indeed living in him as Paul describes the Christian) in a life of prayer, reading Sacred Scripture and the Sacraments.

Secondly – turn to Our Lady.

Thirdly --it is important to note that mortal sins and grave sins are the same thing. They are also called serious sins. All are synonyms. This confusion though pops up now and then. A grave sin/mortal sin/serious sin is committed when there is grave matter, full knowledge and deliberate (complete) consent. (See CCC 1855-1964 and Compendium 395 and 396 vatican.va/archive/compendium_ccc/documents/archive_2005_compendium-ccc_en.html)

Fourthly – As to dating: this from a writer at the EWTN Theology dept …will be of great help!

ewtn.com/expert/answers/dating.htm

(One note though on this reading…I would note that when they say “as soon as he begins to enjoy…” under “pure intent”… it would mean before knowing consent…)

Keep following Jesus of Nazareth in him is true life!

(and read the various world youth day messages from Pope Benedict XVI - be you young or less young… vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/messages/youth/index_en.htm)

 

[Dara]

I recommend How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul
by Jason Evert, Crystalina Evert. I know the book was directed to younger female audiences, but being in a similar situation, I read it anyway. I found several useful tips on how to react in a relationship.

You may want to try it.

 

[Robert_Caritas]

Thanks for the encouragements and recommendations!

 

[JLM28]

The reason for a relationship is to bring each other to God. I would try to save everything for marriage, even a kiss. How romantic will it be if your first kiss was on your honey moon? But most importantly you should save the girls soul. Don’t do anything you would not want the girls dad to know about or to see. God

 

[VeritasLuxMea]

The reason for a relationship is to bring each other to God. I would try to save everything for marriage, even a kiss. How romantic will it be if your first kiss was on your honey moon? But most importantly you should save the girls soul. Don’t do anything you would not want the girls dad to know about or to see. God

Hm? They wouldn’t kiss after the Priest announces them husband and wife? Or at some point during the reception?

 

[JLM28]

Hm? They wouldn’t kiss after the Priest announces them husband and wife? Or at some point during the reception?

At the mass I go to they don’t kiss during the wedding.(I go the Extraordinary form of the roman rite, or Latin Mass)