Dating and the age thing

[whatevergirl]

I think my generation, all want sex (even the women). I love my roommate to death, but she reminds me of Samantha Jones from “Sex and the City”, who goes through men. And my single co-workers go out to bars, get drunk, and end up with guys they don’t know.
And then I have men who try to much, and end up having fruity drink all over them. I don’t know who has it better. Oh wait, I do. I have two cuties I cuddle with. My Cats.

Cats will never let you down, that’s so true!

Re: the sex thing…yeah, it is a different age. My parents’ and my dh’s parents’ era…it seemed simpler. Women married typically men who were roughly their ages, or a little older, and these men were very mature, responsible, and appreciated a woman’s virginity. In many cases, the men back then were virgins themselves. Dating was different. Men took a woman out for a nice dinner…they both dressed to the nines. They went for starlit walks…and didn’t kiss for dates to come. I sometimes wish we could venture back to those years. I would like that type of era to come back for the youth of today. *

 

[Serap]

Hi Serap–yes, that’s true…but, sometimes a man in his 20’s…isn’t ready to settle down, until he is older…but, I see your point. It’s just my own experiences…and those have shaped my thoughts. I think everyone’s experiences will vary, indeed…

I’m glad you’re in a happy marriage Whatevergirl. You deserve it.

 

[CountrySinger]

Cats will never let you down, that’s so true!

Re: the sex thing…yeah, it is a different age. My parents’ and my dh’s parents’ era…it seemed simpler. Women married typically men who were roughly their ages, or a little older, and these men were very mature, responsible, and appreciated a woman’s virginity. In many cases, the men back then were virgins themselves. Dating was different. Men took a woman out for a nice dinner…they both dressed to the nines. They went for starlit walks…and didn’t kiss for dates to come. I sometimes wish we could venture back to those years. I would like that type of era to come back for the youth of today. *

That would be nice. I remember when I met my first boyfriend (7 years ago). Our hands would brush accidently, and that was a big deal. Lol. Now, guys expect you to put out within five minutes of meeting them.

 

[whatevergirl]

That would be nice. I remember when I met my first boyfriend (7 years ago). Our hands would brush accidently, and that was a big deal. Lol. Now, guys expect you to put out within five minutes of meeting them.

*The right man is out there…I think that holding steadfast to your values and principles will pay off, because water tends to seek its own level. (well, one can hope!)

I know that nothing happens overnight, but it seems like the pendulum has swung from men and women being ‘one way,’ (my parents’ era and before) to today, being totally different. Perhaps, the 60’s sexual ‘revolution’ did this. Feminism. Men behaving like man-children. It all seems to have culminated all of a sudden, but again, nothing happens overnight. The overall respect from one human being to another, also seems to be a culprit. Just being kind to one’s neighbor seems to be missing. Men and women suspicious of one another…I dunno. *

 

[whatevergirl]

*Oh, and the age of the internet…text messaging, etc. I love the internet, it’s great. I am sure I’m not alone. BUT…the technology age has caused many to become socially inept…in business, in their personal life. I see teens texting to each other, sitting right across from each other at a restaurant…I see people not making eye contact on elevators, too busy texting…I see people in business, coming out of college, having no idea how to conduct a face to face presentation with a client…or prospect…but they can put together a great email. Business relationships, as well as personal ones are not built over email. Or over the phone. They are built with eye contact, a smile, a genuine conversation face to face. We need to get back to basics.

Anything in excess is bad, and I wonder before long, if we’ll all be replaced with robots, someday. *

 

[chevalier]

I agree CS. Now there are men nowadays, who are in their 50’s who want to act like they are 25 again. I wouldn’t recommend those kinds. lol But, I think that say if you’re a woman, 25 to 30, a man who is in his late 30’s/early 40’s…it’s not that out there, really. He knows who he is…isn’t insecure…isn’t playing games–KNOWS HOW TO COURT a woman. Again, there are exceptions, I know. But, for the most part, I think many women complain that they can’t meet a decent man these days, because their peer group is the problem. I think men in their 20’s…on average, are very immature these days. Have no idea how to court a woman, whatsoever. Think the woman should do the courting, in many cases. I think it’s how they are raised though. You have to teach boys how to become men, and I don’t think enough parents are doing that these days. So, boys are remaining boys well into their late 20’s. Grown women don’t want to date boys, (typically.) Not saying girls aren’t doing the same, they send mixed messages too. AND I know there are exceptions.

I think what’s sorely lacking in ‘this generation’ (ha, I sound old) is that boys are not being taught how to be chivlarous, and galant. I don’t see this with men who go off to war. I find that those types of men, (again, there are exceptions) are galant, almost by nature. They were brought up with a sense of pride for country, a sense of devotion for others, a sense of putting others’ needs before their own. This generation, on average, is a very selfish one…I see it with my 27 yr old nephew, brilliant guy…but I am always scolding him for how he treats women. Intelligence doesn’t replace maturity. The two are not related. I have known some uneducated men who were very mature, and educated guys (like my nephew) who are very immature, when it comes to women. He doesn’t know how to court them…he thinks they are disposable, and filled with drama. He isn’t alone in his peer group…My sister didn’t teach him though how to treat women, and she let both her sons walk all over her when they were living at home, so there you go. But, that’s what’s missing…teaching boys how to be galant men. How to take initiative…how to be leaders. I think many today, I work with some who are around 28/30, think they are leaders…but they haven’t a clue. Being a leader has nothing to do with commanding people to do what you want…it’s about getting people to respect you. But, respect begets respect. Another thing lacking…and I told my son, you will not leave this house not knowing how to treat a woman! Ok, my rant is over.

I don’t recall dating being this difficult. lol

Yeah, I agree with all you say about men of my unfortunate generation… though there are exceptions, as you noted. Sadly, it’s equally as bad with women in terms of being a lady.

 

[Serap]

Yeah, I agree with all you say about men of my unfortunate generation… though there are exceptions, as you noted. Sadly, it’s equally as bad with women in terms of being a lady.

I agree that women are not ladies anymore. When I was single (8 years ago), it was common to see two people making out after they had just met eachother.

I had an acquaintance that would get drunk and ask men to touch her breasts for a laugh. Then then men would think I was like that too and I’d run away and go home.

Let’s just say, I didn’t hang out with this girl for long

 

[whatevergirl]

Agree with you Serap, and chev. I think it definitely goes both ways. But, for you who are single, do not give up hope. Stay true to your morals and values…the right person will take notice…just keep doing the right things. Being ladies and gentlemen, and maybe the world can change, one person at a time.

 

[chevalier]

Agree with you Serap, and chev. I think it definitely goes both ways. But, for you who are single, do not give up hope. Stay true to your morals and values…the right person will take notice…just keep doing the right things. Being ladies and gentlemen, and maybe the world can change, one person at a time.

Don’t worry, whatevergirl, I’m gonna fly the colours regardless of what folks think. At the worst, I’ll flee to the 17th century Caribbean onboard my flagship Bachelor’s Delight!

 

[CountrySinger]

Agree with you Serap, and chev. I think it definitely goes both ways. But, for you who are single, do not give up hope. Stay true to your morals and values…the right person will take notice…just keep doing the right things. Being ladies and gentlemen, and maybe the world can change, one person at a time.

It just gets so frustrating. I guess I’m burning out on the Catholic rules anyway. I see people who lead immoral lives, and they get eveything they want. It would be easier and require less energy to just compromise. I’m tired of men saying they won’t date a Catholic girl.

 

[chevalier]

It just gets so frustrating. I guess I’m burning out on the Catholic rules anyway. I see people who lead immoral lives, and they get eveything they want. It would be easier and require less energy to just compromise. I’m tired of men saying they won’t date a Catholic girl.

Don’t let those thoughts bring you down or take you over. Look at those men and tell me you really want to date them… They won’t date a Catholic girl precisely for what reason? Say s, say e… Yeah. Precisely. Those of them who will actually respect a girl will date a Catholic girl. Otherwise… you’re better off single. But do become more active if it’s getting to you!

 

[whatevergirl]

It just gets so frustrating. I guess I’m burning out on the Catholic rules anyway. I see people who lead immoral lives, and they get eveything they want. It would be easier and require less energy to just compromise. I’m tired of men saying they won’t date a Catholic girl.

*Who’s saying that, though? Non Catholic men? The Catholic Church always takes the moral high road. Taking the moral high road, can sometimes be lonely. It can be frustrating, because in the distance, you see others taking different ‘roads’ and as you say, getting what they want. I see immoral/unethical people in business all day long, ‘getting what they want.’ But, getting what we want, is not always what God wants for us. People who only care about their own selves, miss the mark, and trust me…sooner or later, they will be sad they didn’t walk the higher moral road. If you take the lower road, you will meet people who are not in line with God, not in line with Church teachings…and then, what have you gained, you know? Hang in there, stay the course. Slow and steady wins the race. God bless you! You seem like such a sweet person, I wish I knew a solid Catholic single man in my life here, to set you up with! I know single men in my social circles, but not Catholic single men. *

 

[whatevergirl]

Don’t worry, whatevergirl, I’m gonna fly the colours regardless of what folks think. At the worst, I’ll flee to the 17th century Caribbean onboard my flagship Bachelor’s Delight!

aye aye capt’n. lol *

 

[CountrySinger]

Don’t let those thoughts bring you down or take you over. Look at those men and tell me you really want to date them… They won’t date a Catholic girl precisely for what reason? Say s, say e… Yeah. Precisely. Those of them who will actually respect a girl will date a Catholic girl. Otherwise… you’re better off single. But do become more active if it’s getting to you!

I am active, I actually had to stop doing some things because I am burned out (never having a day off between work, church, volunteer work, working out, applying to graduate school, job interviews, my friends weren’t seeing me at all). Most weeks, I would have maybe an hour to do something fun. Most of my posting is on my phone during my commute or while at work between customers cursing me out.

 

[aball1035]

Anybody feel like when you try to go after girls and date, it doesn’t work out but when you let it be, it always does? Or is it me?

 

[Serap]

Anybody feel like when you try to go after girls and date, it doesn’t work out but when you let it be, it always does? Or is it me?

A bit of both. To make things happen in life, you have to go for what you want, but you don’t want to try too hard either and set yourself up for disappointment.

 

[Sierrah]

A bit of both. To make things happen in life, you have to go for what you want, but you don’t want to try too hard either and set yourself up for disappointment.

Agreed it wasn’t till I gave it completely up to GOD that I met a nice guy…but on a dating site where I was only seeking catholic friends. Sometime he works in weird ways I guess. You still have to make yourself availible and not hide in your house. Prospective dates won’t come knocking on your door so to speak.

 

[SeekingWisdom]

Anybody feel like when you try to go after girls and date, it doesn’t work out but when you let it be, it always does? Or is it me?

It depends. Certainly you must go after what you want. However, what you “want”, might not be that which is good for you or what God has in mind for you, if that makes sense. We have free will, but even our free will cannot force certain things to happen. There’s sort of a learning curve involved in the way of the self will. My learning curve has been quite long.