Dating Catholic women

[900MHZ]

On the one hand, I can understand where you’re coming from. On the other hand, I’m kind of disappointed by people who think that way. I’ve been rejected by two Catholic girls, solely because I’m going through RCIA, and not yet a bona fide Catholic.

They were probably full of hoooey. That was an easy excuse to use, believe me, if they were interested in you, they would have gone out with you, no question.

No reason why they could not date you, if you were going through the classes and such.

 

[900MHZ]

I should explain that comment

Before Mass one day, my priest asked a couple people to bring the hosts forwards. One of them wasn’t Catholic. They told him that they were surprised he asked them, because the previous pastor wouldn’t let them do that, since one of them wasn’t Catholic.

My priest said “Oh no, you don’t have to be Catholic to bring the hosts forward, you could even be German!”

Our priest tries to involve people as much as possible, even people who are going through hard times, to keep them in touch.

Didn’t mean to sidetrack the thread, sorry!

Um…I’m not sure what one has to do with the other, the one is from a country, the other is a religion

I was talking about dating different Christian religions, not people from different countries.

 

[dulcissima]

Um…I’m not sure what one has to do with the other, the one is from a country, the other is a religion

I was talking about dating different Christian religions, not people from different countries.

Pretty sure he was being funny.

 

[Johndigger]

The problem with marrying a non-Catholic for me is that Catholicism is such an integral part of my life that any marriage with someone that did not understand and agree with Church would lack intimacy. They wouldn’t be able to share my life with me.

Besides, I think it’s completely ludicrous to risk your children’s souls.

Love, although at times intensely emotional, ultimately resides with the will. You choose to love someone.

However, am I willing to gamble my childrens’ souls by marrying a non-Catholic? Am I heck!

JD

 

[900MHZ]

The problem with marrying a non-Catholic for me is that Catholicism is such an integral part of my life that any marriage with someone that did not understand and agree with Church would lack intimacy. They wouldn’t be able to share my life with me.

Besides, I think it’s completely ludicrous to risk your children’s souls.

Love, although at times intensely emotional, ultimately resides with the will. You choose to love someone.

However, am I willing to gamble my childrens’ souls by marrying a non-Catholic? Am I heck!

JD

What could possibly happen to your children’s souls??

 

[Johndigger]

Well, the first is an opposition to being baptised. (I was baptised when I was 4 because my Dad was a Protestant.) Baptism is necessary for salvation (Although, water baptism is normative, there are other means…matrydom, for instance. But I think I’d prefer the water)

The second is, it would be a divided home - with mixed messages given out. At best, this means copious amounts of confusion for children who probably won’t have the skills to assess for themselves yet. At worse, indifferentism or outright rejection of the Catholic Faith.

If my wife didn’t agree with my beliefs on contraception, divorce, family values etc - then our marriage would be in a lot of trouble.

All in all, even if you think you can put up with it. It’s unfair on the kids.

JD

 

[Norseman82]

It’s better to marry late, but marry with a good person who you love until the end than to marry when you’re 25 and get divorced.

Unfortunately, the people who marry late are considered “Elmer Fudds” or “balding old men seeking trophy wives” who are criticized for waiting too long. And some of that comes from other threads here at CAF!

Anyway 900MHZ, I’m from up north, and I can tell you, it’s difficult even in the second largest archdiocese in the US! It seems like a common problem today in dating problems is aversion to committment.

 

[THutch04]

I’m only 21, so take this for whatever it’s worth:

I’ve dated a total of 6 people (actually, most of my relationshps have been pretty longterm, I started dating when I was young). Only when I started my 5th relationship was it with someone who also shared my faith. I dated two Catholics while I was still Anglican (one whose parents didn’t like me specifically because I wasn’t Catholic…quite a harsh reality when you’re only 16), a Unitarian (who up until my last relationship was probably the best one I dated), and a non-denominational Christian. There was one person while I was still Anglican who was of the same faith that I wanted to date, but it was too complicated so nothing materialized. I actually thought I would end up in only mixed-faith relationships because I never had any luck finding someone of my faith.

I’ve definitely learned that you can’t get into a relationship thinking that one person will change. If they don’t share your faith you have to assume they never will, and determine if that’s something that you can accept. I made that mistake in my second relationship, where he thought he could make me become Catholic (I have a hard time calling him a Catholic though, because he only attended Mass because he went to a Catholic high school, and is now non-practicing), and I thought that if we ever were married, our children would be raised in MY religion because I actually practiced my faith. It caused a lot of problems and arguments in our relationship. I definitely agree that this issue should be discussed in the beginning. If we had done that, we would have avoided the yearlong mess that happened. I had another relationship which resulted in arguments because I wasn’t what he thought a Catholic convert should be. But that relationship was abusive in general (physically and psychologically), and again, I have a hard time considering him a “true” Catholic. Real Catholics (and other Christians) don’t try to upset or hurt people they care about.

I don’t know that I would personally limit myself to only Catholics. It’s definitely my preference, but the truth is I just can’t see myself being attracted to non-Catholics. I will say that my last relationship was with a practicing Catholic, and it was definitely my best one. I also think that my being a convert, I have more of an obligation to marry another Catholic (but maybe that’s just me being paranoid). I do hope though, that I never find myself in the situation again where I have to decide if I’m going to take a risk with someone who doesn’t share my faith.

 

[Romans12]

Well, I understand what you’re saying…but…you see, I’m having a hard time trying to explain this.

I’m just saying, that’s why it’s better to broaden your dating pool to more than just Catholic prospects, because face it, these Catholic women are probably dating outside the Catholic church as well.

I live in the southern states, and well, it might be possible to start dating people who are more protestants than Catholics

Hope you get my meaning…I’m saying, chances are, the woman I marry, will not likely be Catholic…unless I move up north or something…if even that is.

Would you really prefer someone treats you wonderfully, and got along with great and fell in love with, but go “Oh, she/he not Catholic…No can do!”

Im just curious here… if you did find a beautiful Godly women who pretty much fitted the bill… so to speak but was Protestant.

Would you be prepared to become a Protestant??? Im asking this as a hyperthetical… I mean assuming she was a full on Protestant also… I’d think she wouldn’t be about to swap camps so to speak…

Im in a similar position… but I know there is no way I could denounce my Catholic faith and move to another denomination… that being said, you would have alot of heart ache if you were both focused on God and couldn’t resolve this one very important issue… love to here your views on this.

 

[900MHZ]

Im just curious here… if you did find a beautiful Godly women who pretty much fitted the bill… so to speak but was Protestant.

Would you be prepared to become a Protestant??? Im asking this as a hyperthetical… I mean assuming she was a full on Protestant also… I’d think she wouldn’t be about to swap camps so to speak…

Im in a similar position… but I know there is no way I could denounce my Catholic faith and move to another denomination… that being said, you would have alot of heart ache if you were both focused on God and couldn’t resolve this one very important issue… love to here your views on this.

I know a single lady in my OWN parrish that did this. And she was a member of some positions in said church, she met a single man, who I think was Presbyterian, got married in HIS church (not the parrish) had a kid, and lived happily ever after.

So see, there are indeed happy endings!

 

[chevalier]

Unfortunately, the people who marry late are considered “Elmer Fudds” or “balding old men seeking trophy wives” who are criticized for waiting too long. And some of that comes from other threads here at CAF!

Anyway 900MHZ, I’m from up north, and I can tell you, it’s difficult even in the second largest archdiocese in the US! It seems like a common problem today in dating problems is aversion to committment.

I live in a Catholic country (90%+ classified Catholic), in the 2 million populated capital and it’s still difficult to find a girl to go out with. And I’m actually not ugly or anything - quite the opposite, if I can go by what people say. These times it just is difficult.

Unfortunately, the people who marry late are considered “Elmer Fudds” or “balding old men seeking trophy wives” who are criticized for waiting too long. And some of that comes from other threads here at CAF!

But some of them are lawyers with big digits in bank, 40 years of age and asthma to top it off.