Dating during annulment process?

[rpp]

(Sigh). Time for Sacraments 101 again.

3 things are necessary for something to be a mortal sin: 1) it must be serious; 2) you must know that it is serious and 3) you must will the act.

So far, you have only indicated that one of the conditions were fulfilled; you willed the act.

Depending on how one defines “dating”, you may or may not have fulfilled the second qualififcation - the first. However, by your own statements it appears that you did not know the matter was serious, so no mortal sin, and nothing to confess.

If it makes yopu feel better, you are certainly welcome to bring it up in confession, but be careful of not going off on a tangent of scrupulosity. Move forward; don’t get caught in a downdraft of revisiting everything you have done in the light of new information.

I am completely aware of what a sin requires t be mortal.

I merely made my finaly comment to indicate how I now feel about this subject.

Besides, I, unfortunately, always have much to confess.

 

[rpp]

I am glad that this thread was helpful in different ways.

Thank you, Whatevergirl, you, at least seem to get it.

May God richly bless you,.

 

[palmas85]

I decided to ask this question on here, since reading a few threads that deal with people who are dating others, but are going through the annulment process. What is the Church’s stance on being in the process of getting an annulment (and you are offiically legally divorced) and pursuing a dating relationship? Not just friendship with a member of the opposite sex, but a romantic relationship? Obviously we know the Church’s stance on sexuality outside of marriage, but if the couple is kissing, holding hands, basically exhibiting signs that they are exclusively dating–is that acceptable in the eyes of The Church? Reply when you can…thanks

As far as I know you are still legally married in the eyes of the Church until the annulment is granted. The Church takes marriage very seriously as you may have noticed. The existence or non existence of a civil divorce really means nothing at all in the scheme of things from a religious perspective.

 

[EasterJoy]

As far as I know you are still legally married in the eyes of the Church until the annulment is granted. The Church takes marriage very seriously as you may have noticed. The existence or non existence of a civil divorce really means nothing at all in the scheme of things from a religious perspective.

Well, you can’t get the annulment process started until you get a civil divorce, so yes, it does mean something.

 

[catharina]

After much thought and reflection on this, I have solidified my opinion on this.

When I dated while was awaiting my annulment, I was not merely making a mistake, I was committing the very grave sin of adultery. In addition, this meant that I also received the Body and Blood of our Lord unworthily on countless occasions.

I have much to confess.

Thank you all who contributed hear in helping me to better form my conscience.

I haven’t yet read all of the reponses to this post but PLEASE, tell us that you understand you can NOT have committed a grave sin if you didn’t know - in advance - that it WAS a grave sin.

Also b sure your confessor understands that you were acting in ignorance. OK?

 

[palmas85]

Well, you can’t get the annulment process started until you get a civil divorce, so yes, it does mean something.

In the eyes of the church then a civil divorce is binding ? So a person civilly divorced is free to date, have relations or re-marry? Is that what you are saying? I certainly hope not.

 

[catharina]

In the eyes of the church then a civil divorce is binding ? So a person civilly divorced is free to date, have relations or re-marry? Is that what you are saying? I certainly hope not.

No. She’s saying the opposite.

She said that one must be divorced in the State before one files for annulment in the Church.

Dating and such WAITS until after an annulment is granted by the Church.

 

[EasterJoy]

In the eyes of the church then a civil divorce is binding? So a person civilly divorced is free to date, have relations or re-marry? Is that what you are saying? I certainly hope not.

You wrote: “The existence or non existence of a civil divorce really means *nothing at all *in the scheme of things from a religious perspective.” (italics mine)

This is not true. Civil divorce has great meaning from a religious perspective. First off, obtaining a civil divorce is itself a grave matter. It is only to be sought under particular and serious circumstances. Secondly, the Church will not investigate whether a marriage is null or not unless the marriage has been dissolved or declared null by the state.

 

[rpp]

I haven’t yet read all of the reponses to this post but PLEASE, tell us that you understand you can NOT have committed a grave sin if you didn’t know - in advance - that it WAS a grave sin.

Also b sure your confessor understands that you were acting in ignorance. OK?

mortal sin = Grave matter + knowledge that it is grave + time to consider it choose to do it anyway.

I may have committed a grave sin, but, in my honest ignorance, I did not realize it was grave. Therefore, the conditions for my grave sin to be mortal were not met, I believe.

Nevertheless, I wish to speak to my confessor about it.

 

[EasterJoy]

You wrote: “The existence or non existence of a civil divorce really means *nothing at all *in the scheme of things from a religious perspective.” (italics mine)

This is not true. Civil divorce has great meaning from a religious perspective. First off, obtaining a civil divorce is itself a grave matter. It is only to be sought under particular and serious circumstances. Secondly, the Church will not investigate whether a marriage is null or not unless the civil marriage has been dissolved or declared null by the state.

 

[Just_Lurking]

Secondly, the Church will not investigate whether a marriage is null or not unless the marriage has been dissolved or declared null by the state.

In other words, obtaining a civil divorce has the canon law effect of moving a person from the category of “people who cannot apply for an annulment” to the category of “people who can apply for an annulment”.

 

[catharina]

In other words, obtaining a civil divorce has the canon law effect of moving a person from the category of “people who cannot apply for an annulment” to the category of “people who can apply for an annulment”.

The Church can not “annul” a marriage that is still a marriage under the laws of the State.

The Church can’t nullify a marriage that is legal under State laws. If the State says there is no marriage, then the Church can investigate to see if that is so under Church laws.

The Church recognizes the reality that State laws exist.

 

[Jean_Anthony]

This thread is closed. Thank you all.