Dating Fast advice

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Anybody ever gone on a dating fast/detox have advice for someone trying it in their teens/20s? I am probably going to buy Lisa Cotters book but this is planned to last about a year for me
 
What is the point of it? Assuming you’re not having sex on your dates, there’s no reason to take a whole year out of the most productive time in your life you have to work towards finding a spouse. Unless maybe you’re trying to discern a religious vocation or something. I notice Lisa Cotter’s plan is only 40 days which is a much more realistic time frame.
 
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Well Focus missionaries do a year but honestly I’m really tired of all the immature “good” Catholic men I meet and I’ve decided to focus on other things in my life than dating because I honestly find it very draining to date men that are scared of commitment (most men within 4 years of my age). I want to focus more on being my best self than looking for a “better half”
 
Well, that’s laudable. Sounds like maybe you just need to screen candidates better, rather than refusing to date at all for a whole year.
 
I do not understand this term as it relates to unmarried people.
 
Purity of heart and mind, not just physical chastity, but having a single heart for God.
 
Choosevirtue said:
I want to focus more on being my best self than looking for a “better half”
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I think this is a great idea.

But if a good, mature Catholic man who clicks with you does happen to come along during this time when you are not looking for him, don’t let him “escape” just because you feel you have to finish out a year or something. 🙂 Because life is short and dating gets harder once you enter your 30s. That would be my only tip.
 
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I’m sorry if my response wasn’t what you expected, but when you start a discussion thread, you’re going to get a wide variety of replies.

Anyway you asked for advice, I gave mine which is that I think a year is too long and depriving yourself of social activity, needlessly. If you don’t like the advice, feel free to not take it, but like I said there is no guarantee you’re just going to get advice you like when you start a thread.

Good luck with your "dating fast. "
 
1Lord1Faith said:
What is emotional chastity?
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Never could understand this one or see how it related to being a chaste Catholic.

I think it’s a very inaccurate and clumsy way of basically saying to “mind our feelings” or ensuring that we don’t allow ourselves to be swept up in an attraction to someone. Prudence…in other words.

Though sometimes I think what chastity speakers mean by the phrase goes a bit beyond anything in Catholic teaching.
 
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Choosevirtue said:
I’m really tired of all the immature “good” Catholic men I meet and I’ve decided to focus on other things in my life than dating because I honestly find it very draining to date men that are scared of commitment (most men within 4 years of my age).
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To be honest I don’t think a “fast” is the way to deal with that. Maybe try setting up a profile on a catholic dating website or even dating slightly older men. I can tell you this…there are plenty of commitment-minded catholic men out there. You just have to do a lot of searching.
 
Well for starters what you think and declare often becomes reality. If you preoccupy your thoughts with a person or the idea of being in love it can be very consuming and unfruitful. Not necessarily a solid Catholic teaching but basic logic reason and psychology
 
So glad to hear someone else in their teens/20s knows about emotional chastity and the importance of it haha. I think it’s always good to as you said, work on yourself and your virtues if other parts of your life aren’t working exactly how you have wanted. I’ve taken that approach myself, as a 20YO guy I’ve focused on working on my virtues and my faith and my struggles and therefore never entered into a relationship before while at the same time believing I am called to the vocation of marriage. I think I’ve reallt grown in my faith because of this and I’m very thankful.

During your fast, I suggest if you don’t already, to keep St. Ann in your prayers, a great saint for those who want to find their future spouse, as well as St. Raphael, St. Gabriel, and St. Valentine. I ask them for help in my own search.

As you enter into this fast, a great source for you might be Cameron Fradd’s podcast Among The Lillies. It’s a podcast devoted specially for women who are either recently married or dating or believe they have a vocation to marriage. Here is the link to the podcast if you are interested, it’s a very good podcast and her husband Matt Fradd is fantastic also.


I hope that this fast is very beneficial for you in terms of becoming the best person you can become and growing in your own virtue. I hope that you find success on your journey to the vocation of marriage. I think the problem of commitment especially among guys is becoming an increasing epidemic among our generation.

If you want any further suggestions on podcasts or religious resources, just let me know, I know plenty haha. You will be in my prayers,
  • Matt
 
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