Dating In College

[sjmb]

Hi Everybody,

Mboyfriend and are are assisting in the planning and execution of the freshman welcome retreat at my school (it’s a day-long welcome to the incoming Catholics), and we are giving the “Dating In College” talk. We’re very excited to give it because we want to share the happiness felt by living a chaste, Christ-centered relationship with the new students, but I want to see what other people, especially students, think we should include in the talk. We need to remember that many of these students are probably not going to be enveloped in their Faith (yet! ), and the last thing we want to do is push them away. The hookup culture is MORE than prevalent at my school, so we want to focus primarily on chastity, but also get into some other things, maybe about how easy it is to feel “in love” in your first college relationship without being in love, how easy it is to get caught up in your bf/gf and ignore your other responsibilities, the dangers of temptations caused by living in closer proximity (dorms) to your bf/gf, etc etc… Anyway, any suggestions about what we should discuss regarding chastity and other things would be greatly appreciated. The talk will probably only be about 20 to 30 minutes.

Thanks!

-sj

 

[Joe_5859]

Hi Everybody,

Mboyfriend and are are assisting in the planning and execution of the freshman welcome retreat at my school (it’s a day-long welcome to the incoming Catholics), and we are giving the “Dating In College” talk. We’re very excited to give it because we want to share the happiness felt by living a chaste, Christ-centered relationship with the new students, but I want to see what other people, especially students, think we should include in the talk. We need to remember that many of these students are probably not going to be enveloped in their Faith (yet! ), and the last thing we want to do is push them away. The hookup culture is MORE than prevalent at my school, so we want to focus primarily on chastity, but also get into some other things, maybe about how easy it is to feel “in love” in your first college relationship without being in love, how easy it is to get caught up in your bf/gf and ignore your other responsibilities, the dangers of temptations caused by living in closer proximity (dorms) to your bf/gf, etc etc… Anyway, any suggestions about what we should discuss regarding chastity and other things would be greatly appreciated. The talk will probably only be about 20 to 30 minutes.

Thanks!

-sj

Don’t be boring.

Seriously, though, I think it’s great that you’re doing this. What will speak the most to these students beyond the words that you say is how much of a witness you are. Be personable, joy-filled, and genuine. If they see that you two are joy-filled (yet normal) people that are actively trying to live out the Church’s teaching on chastity, that will speak volumes.

College certainly does present temptations that were not previously present (lack of parental oversight, etc.) Encourage students to get involved in what your Catholic community is doing and to make good Christian friendships. (That’s a necessary precursor to dating, anyway…in most cases. )

I’m not sure if I’d give them a “do’s and don’ts” list. You’ll have to think about that. On the one hand, it is nice to have some practical, concrete advice from those who are living through it. On the other hand, many people (especially college freshmen) have great difficulty when others are seemingly telling them what to do. I don’t really have a solution for you, but it’s something to keep in mind.

 

[BrokenFortress]

That’s awesome that you’re giving such a speech!

I agree that you probably shouldn’t do too much of a do and don’ts type thing or else you may sound like you’re preaching to them. I also think it’d be a great time to tell them of great Catholic opportunities that are present (if any) at your college and surrounding area. So that they can make friends with like-minded individuals.

I graduated from college a year ago, so I definitely understand the culture of hookups and dating in college. Thankfully I was able to find a great Catholic boyfriend and stay away from any sort of temptation (and am still with him, 4.5 years going strong!) So it is very possible to be in a long term relationship and still remain chaste.

I’m not sure this has much to do with your speech, but may be a good idea for college aged kids, like maybe doing a social where singles and those dating can get together and spend time doing something fun. Maybe games, movies whatever. But just so that it’s a fun environment without the partying and hookups.

I do think that your witness will definitely help some of the students! So good for you for doing this!