Dating non-catholics or finding catholics

  • Thread starter Thread starter pwlj_christ87
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
P

pwlj_christ87

Guest
i am looking to start and build my life, obviously i take catholicism seriously but i know that being out in the real world not everyone is, so the question goes, do i have to stick to searching in catholic zones, or is it ok to venture to other places and try to see if i can pull some girl into it?
 
First of all, pray. 😃
“Pulling a girl into it” doesn’t mean you’ll be successful, and in the mean time, while you’re waiting for her to ‘get it’, you can get very emotionally attached. And her too. There are plenty of people who get engaged and then say “I don’t know what to do, my fiance is not at all interested in the faith or even is willing to have a church wedding”. Don’t do that. Honor God in your singleness, in your dating, and in your marriage and family life. Tell him that you are serious about following him and that you need his help in guidance in staying on track and if it’s his will, finding a practicing Catholic young lady. Pray for your future wife every day, that God guide and keep her in his care.

I like your question. 😃
 
Naturally you do not have to do anything…you are not bound by any Church law to seek out only Catholics…and you also do not need our permission to go elsewhere…but what I sense you are after is advice.

The advice I am able to offer is that a marriage of mixed religions is fine until children arrive…at which point one of you will have to realize that your faith or lack thereof will have to be set aside in order for the children to avoid confusion. As a Catholic you have an obligation to ensure that your children are brought up in the faith. Therefore what you must really ask yourself is if you are comfortable with the concept of seeking out a potential spouse outside of the Catholic Church with a view of making her accept that her children will be brought up Catholic. If you believe you are strong enough for such a challenge, by all means cast a wider net. If not, it might be helpful to join more church groups in order to find a girl within your own faith community…

Good luck!
 
Thinking back, when I was single and working, on my own, I told God I was serious about being faithful and following him. There were guys that came along. One guy I knew was Jehovah Witness, and although handsome and kind, I said No Thanks. Gave me an opportunity to go on my knees and say, “See God, I’m serious about following you.” Another guy was divorced and asked me out. I said No thanks. Again, another opportunity to go on my knees before God. My point is that there will be opportunities along the way that will pull you off your path. Certainly a pretty girl will be one of them!! 😛 Sometimes it’s up to us to close a door and not even go there.
 
thanks Penny, i am a single male ijust started living alone and have a job for the most part, so i have been following god, it just seems that when i am at church its hard to meet a girl and then i go out into the real world and feel like talking to alot of people i see at malls or what have you but i dont know if i even should because i cant tell if they are good or bad catholic or not, obvioulsy i want gods will
 
pwlj_christ87 said:
thanks Penny, i am a single male ijust started living alone and have a job for the most part, so i have been following god, it just seems that when i am at church its hard to meet a girl and then i go out into the real world and feel like talking to alot of people i see at malls or what have you but i dont know if i even should because i cant tell if they are good or bad catholic or not, obvioulsy i want gods will
Click to expand...
Find that out on the first date. If you say “Let’s go to church on Sunday and then lunch”, you’ll get a lot of information right there.
 
what if i just take out a crucifix and hold it to their face and say may be power of christ compel you!!! and see if they melt on the spot :D:confused::cool:
 
pwlj_christ87 said:
i am looking to start and build my life, obviously i take catholicism seriously but i know that being out in the real world not everyone is, so the question goes, do i have to stick to searching in catholic zones, or is it ok to venture to other places and try to see if i can pull some girl into it?
Click to expand...
Think about how you see your married life. Consider what you want the mother of your children to be like. Do you see her helping you get the kids ready for church and leading them in prayers? If so, you should stick to dating Catholic women only.

Never date someone with the intentions of changing them. There will only be hurt feelings and it will not be successful. As an Agnostic, I would be incredibly hurt to know that someone had been dating me so they could “pull me” into their religion. It’s not respectful, and if having a Catholic wife is so important to you, you should not date non-Catholics.

Lou
 
Ha! I feel your pain. I have dated Catholics and non-Catholics, and the closer you get to a person the more painful it gets to have a disparity of religion. Also, sons tend to follow in the footsteps of their father and daughters of their mother. If Mom isn’t on board with the faith that can turn into a really big problem down the road. I’ve forsworn non-Catholics myself, and I’d suggest it to you as well, but each person is different of course.
 
I would suggest looking for a Catholic to marry since that is one of the precepts of the Church. This will make it a lot easier to raise children in the Church.
 
I met my husband online through Catholic Match. We are very compatible. Catholic Match has you answer 7 questions about your Catholic beliefs so that you find matches that are equally as devout as you.
 
If you are looking to date a Catholic girl, I believe there are Catholic singles around. I don’t know what exactly it is called, but I remember I had a friend who filled out her information for Catholic Singles and she was matched up with a Catholic man. They later married (I was at their wedding), and they are still married today, at least 20 years later. If you are registered at a Catholic parish, I’m sure that the office would be able to help you.
 
A bloke who’s in plenty of healthy friendships with singles and couples of all ages can pull a girl.

Does your parish make a point of connecting you with all those people?

If and when it is you will get a better feel for the question you are asking.

Shopping mallmanagers arn’t insightful spiritual pastors!

Also Penny’s idea of beseeching God (post 4) looks good - for me too.
 
PennyinCanada said:
Another guy was divorced and asked me out. I said No thanks. Again, another opportunity to go on my knees before God. My point is that there will be opportunities along the way that will pull you off your path. Certainly a pretty girl will be one of them!! 😛 Sometimes it’s up to us to close a door and not even go there.
Click to expand...
Just curious - why refuse to date a person because they’re divorced? That’s how an annulment can get going. I think to not date someone solely because they’re divorced, without knowing the story or situation, is really limiting yourself.

For example, you can call in love with a divorced person and they can obtain an annulment. Then you can be free to marry them in the Church.
 
GreyWings said:
Just curious - why refuse to date a person because they’re divorced? That’s how an annulment can get going. I think to not date someone solely because they’re divorced, without knowing the story or situation, is really limiting yourself.

For example, you can call in love with a divorced person and they can obtain an annulment. Then you can be free to marry them in the Church.
Click to expand...
There is a long process to get through, and then they may be declined. That’s a big gamble to play with my heart if I wish to follow God, honor him in my dating, my marriage, and family life. Until the annulment has gone through, I would be dating a married man. I don’t need to get to know all the details.

The process of dating is exactly that, to narrow down the options to one.
If I met someone who already had an annulment and was available for marriage, that would be a different situation.
 
PennyinCanada said:
There is a long process to get through, and then they may be declined. That’s a big gamble to play with my heart if I wish to follow God, honor him in my dating, my marriage, and family life. Until the annulment has gone through, I would be dating a married man. I don’t need to get to know all the details.

The process of dating is exactly that, to narrow down the options to one.
If I met someone who already had an annulment and was available for marriage, that would be a different situation.
Click to expand...
My own annulment took a matter of weeks, due to “lack of form.” Ergo it doesn’t always take so long, as it depends on a lot of factors. The Pope His Holiness recently set forth a change to make annulments easier and quicker, it’s been in the news.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top