Dating non-Catholics

[Pedro_1987]

I’ve heard it said its ill advised to get into a dating relationship with Protestants, since the fundamental differences will drive a wedge into the relationship eventually. I learned this the hard way recently.

But I was wondering, are Catholics and Greek Orthodox more compatible? I mean, they’re a lot more similar than Catholics to any Protestant branch. Thoughts?

 

[crystal_waters]

Im not an expert but i would think so since its so similar,

 

[Basilios]

I’ve heard it said its ill advised to get into a dating relationship with Protestants, since the fundamental differences will drive a wedge into the relationship eventually. I learned this the hard way recently.

But I was wondering, are Catholics and Greek Orthodox more compatible? I mean, they’re a lot more similar than Catholics to any Protestant branch. Thoughts?

Depends on how Orthodox the person is if you know what I mean. If they are a believing Orthodox practicing their faith devoutly it would be a problem (for me anyway). The Orthodox still think we’re schismatics and heretics for the most part. Some of them don’t always use that language, but they still think the same thing. They wouldn’t want to convert to Catholicism - and in fact they’d probably be more reluctant to convert than most Protestants. Protestants, 80% of the time, can be brought around if they are in good faith because they don’t understand what we believe. Orthodox understand, and believe similar things but that pushes them further away. It’s strange, but it’s as if they are so close yet so far precisely because we are so similar. As they see it, why be Catholic when you can be Orthodox and have the fullness of truth? Whereas a Protestant doesn’t even speak that language, he just says “Catholics are idol worshipers!” or something like that. It’s a bit easier in a sense. This is just my experience with the Orthodox. I love them by the way, I always said that when Our Lady converts Russia the first thing I am doing is canonically transferring to the Russian Church.

As for me, I would never date a non-Catholic. Ever.

God Bless!

 

[St_Francis]

One has to consider what the end, or purpose/goal, of dating is. Is it to have a good time? Is it to have a boy/girlfriend?

Or is it to discern marriage with a particular person?

The problem is that in our society (US), we think of dating as filling a temporary purpose. That’s why we tend to get over-involved. We get very involved with someone as a way of getting to know them, when we should be getting to know them *before *we get involved with them.

If the purpose of dating is to discern marriage with a particular person, then one must also consider the end of marriage itself. The main purposes of marriage are for the two to aid each other in attaining Heaven and the bearing and raising of children and helping them to attain Heaven.

Now, how precisely will marrying a non-Catholic help one to attain Heaven, and how will it work in one’s helping one’s spouse to attain Heaven?

And how will marrying a non-Catholic affect helping one’s children attain Heaven?

So, it seems that dating even an Orthodox non-Catholic is a good idea.

 

[VanSensei]

Honestly, my view on it is that as long as the person is of excellent moral character, and at the same time respectful of your Catholic faith, then it’d be fine.

I’d be fine dating a non-Catholic, also because it’d be nice to see other parts of Christianity/other religions.

 

[angelic06]

One has to consider what the end, or purpose/goal, of dating is. Is it to have a good time? Is it to have a boy/girlfriend?

Or is it to discern marriage with a particular person?

The problem is that in our society (US), we think of dating as filling a temporary purpose. That’s why we tend to get over-involved. We get very involved with someone as a way of getting to know them, when we should be getting to know them *before *we get involved with them.

If the purpose of dating is to discern marriage with a particular person, then one must also consider the end of marriage itself. The main purposes of marriage are for the two to aid each other in attaining Heaven and the bearing and raising of children and helping them to attain Heaven.

Now, how precisely will marrying a non-Catholic help one to attain Heaven, and how will it work in one’s helping one’s spouse to attain Heaven?

And how will marrying a non-Catholic affect helping one’s children attain Heaven?

So, it seems that dating even an Orthodox non-Catholic is a good idea.

I am in agreement with St Francis, that the purposes of marriages chiefly spiritual, to to assist our spouses, our children, and ourselves in attaining to everlasting bliss, that we may behold our Lord and Master for all eternity.

Therefore, I do not see much profit to be gained from marrying a non-Catholic. While I do not know of marriages between Catholics and Orthodox, I do know several who have married Protestants. In these cases, the children usually end up being Protestant, and therefore without access to the Holy Sacrament of the Eucharist. While Orthodox have the Eucharist, we should also consider that many Orthodox do not recognize Catholics as having it, and therefore if the children should be raised Catholic, from their point of view it would be considered that the children do not have access to true sacraments. As a person who believes the Catholic Faith to be that of Christ, I have a severe problem with teaching my future children a faith which is not Catholic, even that of the closest non-Catholic faith. Furthermore, I also believe in the family as the “Domestic Church” within the unity of the Church universal, that is the Church Catholic. I believe this universal Church actually exists, not that this church is simply an ideal that no Christian community measures up to.

 

[JackieMom]

When discerning a potential spouse, look down the line. Where does the family attend liturgy every Sunday? Whose catechism is followed? How are the kids raised? Where are the babies baptized and where are sacraments recieved? Are they told one parent is wrong and one is correct, or are they lied to and told that both faiths are equally valid and it doesn’t matter which they choose? Either way, it’s a disservice to the kids and creates a lack of integrity within the family. If you are a Catholic, you want your kids to grow up to be Catholic. This is less likely to happen when one parent does not practice the faith. Why would you knowingly set your kids up for that?

 

[St_Francis]

Honestly, my view on it is that as long as the person is of excellent moral character, and at the same time respectful of your Catholic faith, then it’d be fine.

I’d be fine dating a non-Catholic, also because it’d be nice to see other parts of Christianity/other religions.

Do you think it is fair to date someone just to find out more about their religion?

 

[Ridgerunner]

I’ve heard it said its ill advised to get into a dating relationship with Protestants, since the fundamental differences will drive a wedge into the relationship eventually. I learned this the hard way recently.

But I was wondering, are Catholics and Greek Orthodox more compatible? I mean, they’re a lot more similar than Catholics to any Protestant branch. Thoughts?

If you had seen some of the bitter things said in various threads here at times, you would NEVER think it a good idea to marry a Greek Orthodox (Eastern Orthodox) Right below the surface there is a tremendous amount of ill will. Most of it has to do with historical things about which Catholics know almost nothing and wouldn’t know how to dispute, but which many Orthodox carry around in their heads. And if the person you’re dating doesn’t know all the old hatreds, somebody in her congregation will. But in fairness, I should say there are differences between at least some Eastern Orthodox whose Church is Russian Orthodox versus those Eastern Orthodox whose Church heritage is Greek.

I don’t think it’s a good idea to marry a Protestant either, and I always avoided getting too deeply involved with one when I was dating. Having said that, I would also say that some of the more fundamentalist-type protestants really do learn that what they believe isn’t all that far from what Cathoics believe. We have a lot of converts from southern fundamentalism in our parish.

 

[eyesopening]

I agree with much of what has been said to the effect of marriage being vocational in nature. Priests have the Church in a way that the lay person will never have in this life. I personally believe that the Catholic experience is (or should be) the pinnacle or highlight of daily life. A Catholic should attend Mass almost everyday (when possible) because it is truly heaven on earth. Much of one’s day should be occupied with prayer and one’s commitment to Christ and his One, Holy, Apostolic, Church on earth should be strong and growing. (Sadly many Catholics are Catholic in name only.)

With that in mind, how could a devout Catholic enter into a non-Catholic vocation? (Marriage.) It would be like a Catholic Priest who fulfills all of his duties, but who enjoys a protestant bible study one night a week.

I think the problem is (and another poster pointed it out) that our society (and sadly many Catholics) see marriage as self fulfilling rather than “other”-fulfilling. I’m sorry, marriage is not merely for personal happiness. (As a married person I can tell you every moment is not pure bliss.) Marriage is a job, a vocation, a calling. If you are not called to it, you should not marry.

Another problem is that many people are Catholic, but don’t actually practice Catholicism. As a result they’ve bought into society’s version of marriage. This is even to the point where some Catholics will disagree with Church teaching on marriage. Archbishop Fulton Sheen once said, “When someone begins a statement with ‘I’m Catholic, but…,’ that person isn’t really Catholic.” Now, I understand that anyone who has had the sacrament of confirmation is technically a Catholic, but you know what he meant.

Conversely, if a person were a devout protestant, hindu, muslim, jew, or anything else, they would not want to marry a Catholic. Only those who are lukewarm in their beliefs want to marry out of their faith. Now, I’ll admit there are probably those who hope to convert their partner, and that is commendable, but not wise.

I know there are exceptions to all this. I’m sure there are some very happy devout Catholics who are married outside of Catholicism, but…no I take it back, how could you be truly happy if your partner was outside the Church?!?

Sorry for the disorganization of this post. Was hurrying to say a lot.

 

[SuperLuigi]

I’ve heard it said its ill advised to get into a dating relationship with Protestants, since the fundamental differences will drive a wedge into the relationship eventually. I learned this the hard way recently.

But I was wondering, are Catholics and Greek Orthodox more compatible? I mean, they’re a lot more similar than Catholics to any Protestant branch. Thoughts?

In my own personal experience, I found dating non-Catholics a waste of time. Then again, I wasn’t exactly the type of person who could have that special influence and get someone to convert.

After a while, I decided to stick to Catholic women because I didn’t want to have to fight every weekend or even daily to bring the kids to Mass.

Orthodox folks can be just as stubborn have as many issues with the Catholic faith as anyone else.

It **depends **more on the person, not the religion itself.

 

[hurting]

I’ve heard it said its ill advised to get into a dating relationship with Protestants, since the fundamental differences will drive a wedge into the relationship eventually. I learned this the hard way recently.

But I was wondering, are Catholics and Greek Orthodox more compatible? I mean, they’re a lot more similar than Catholics to any Protestant branch. Thoughts?

It is ill-advised to do so; this was routinely counseled by the Church but seems to have fallen by the wayside.

 

[Miss_Felicity]

I’m currently discerning marriage to a non Catholic. I’m a convert so I think I’m more inclined to a slightly different opinion on some things than a cradle Catholic. That may or may not be the case but some things I’ve come across on this forum make me think so.