Dating non-Christians

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In_Hoc_Signo312

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A quick glance on this forum can probably yield a few threads about the touch subject of dating or at the very least being interested in somebody who isn’t Catholic, but I don’t think I’ve ever come across any threads that deal with non-Christians. I guess I’m curious about that because I had recently been sort of attracted to one that now doesn’t appear to be going anywhere. I guess I don’t exactly have her in mind when I ask about this, but I think about it a bit now should it come up again later. Has anybody on here ever been attracted to somebody who wasn’t a Christian at some point?
 
Yes, I briefly dated a girl who was agnostic. It was really difficult because we wanted to be close, but couldn’t share the one thing that matters. I have known Christians who were married to atheists, and saw how miserable it was for them. My advice is, unless the other person shows genuine interest in the faith, I wouldn’t put yourself through it. There are plenty of good Catholic women looking for a husband. Never mind the sea.
 
Yes that has happened. Most of the times the non Christian women I met actually really showed interest in our religion and really liked a man with faith.

It has on occasion occured that a woman was really negative about the church which made me sad but that does mean that i cannot feel attracted to such a woman anymore.
 
When I first became Catholic, the priest who was instructing me said I shouldn’t date someone who wasn’t Catholic. His reasoning was that dating can lead to marriage & a marriage between a Catholic & a non-Catholic of any type, Christian or non-Christian, can be very difficult.

After 30 years of marriage to a Catholic, I would say that any marriage can be difficult, so why make it even harder? Having our faith in common has been a life-saver for us.
 
Ad_Orientem said:
Yes, I briefly dated a girl who was agnostic. It was really difficult because we wanted to be close, but couldn’t share the one thing that matters. I have known Christians who were married to atheists, and saw how miserable it was for them. My advice is, unless the other person shows genuine interest in the faith, I wouldn’t put yourself through it. There are plenty of good Catholic women looking for a husband. Never mind the sea.
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Well, the girl I’d mentioned said that she admired Christianity and was inclined to it, so who knows? It might ring a bit hollow for now, since we’ve kind of drifted apart. She and I would have to start talking again. Otherwise I might be going elsewhere with this soon.
 
I have seen it work when both parties are strong enough to live within the inevitable boundaries and limits and can and do respect the differences between their life values in that area.

They had a lot in common and that helped and they also had strong and fulfilling lives as individuals .

The strangest I saw was a vociferous atheist and a cradle catholic but that marriage survived healthy for many decades I think until death

And I know many strong church ladies whose husbands would never cross a church door or touch a bible.
 
When I was little, we got a 15 inch black and white tv and it was so exciting! It had rabbit ears (antennae) that you had to move this way and that to get the best reception possible. Watching hockey (a game all the way in Toronto!! Wow!) in that small screen that was so snowy you could not see the puck. It was hard enough to figure out which team was which with black and white, with the players so little, but you could figure out what end belonged to what team. It was awesome to have such a thing. What a big step from radio! At some point we had 3 stations !! and a dial that went up to 13 for the channels.

When someone asks if they should date a non-Christian, it tells me that their faith walk is in this ball park, a fuzzy black and white 15 inch tv. The great news is that you can have SO MUCH MORE!! Your faith walk has a lot of room to become much more dynamic and awesome! There can be the big flat screen tv equivalent in your faith. Who wouldn’t want that? I’m reading your post and thinking that you, looking for your life partner, the one who will raise your children, is going to settle for not even the black and white 15 inch. Man oh man, may you have a great shaking of the Holy Spirit! A renewal, refreshing! Want more in your faith life! I want you to want more in your life partner!

The saints you might wonder. They exist in a movie theater, big screen, with 3 D glasses on. This is their faith walk. Makes your big flat screen tv seem like it falls short, doesn’t it?

Want more from God. He’s looking for people who want more!

This is the grace I wish for you.
God is in our midst!
 
PennyinCanada said:
When I was little, we got a 15 inch black and white tv and it was so exciting! It had rabbit ears (antennae) that you had to move this way and that to get the best reception possible. Watching hockey (a game all the way in Toronto!! Wow!) in that small screen that was so snowy you could not see the puck. It was hard enough to figure out which team was which with black and white, with the players so little, but you could figure out what end belonged to what team. It was awesome to have such a thing. What a big step from radio! At some point we had 3 stations !! and a dial that went up to 13 for the channels.

When someone asks if they should date a non-Christian, it tells me that their faith walk is in this ball park, a fuzzy black and white 15 inch tv. The great news is that you can have SO MUCH MORE!! Your faith walk has a lot of room to become much more dynamic and awesome! There can be the big flat screen tv equivalent in your faith. Who wouldn’t want that? I’m reading your post and thinking that you, looking for your life partner, the one who will raise your children, is going to settle for not even the black and white 15 inch. Man oh man, may you have a great shaking of the Holy Spirit! A renewal, refreshing! Want more in your faith life! I want you to want more in your life partner!

The saints you might wonder. They exist in a movie theater, big screen, with 3 D glasses on. This is their faith walk. Makes your big flat screen tv seem like it falls short, doesn’t it?

Want more from God. He’s looking for people who want more!

This is the grace I wish for you.
God is in our midst!
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Exactly. Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you need to. You can drive your car with your feet if you want to, but that doesn’t make it a good idea.
 
I would not suggest it. My husband and I were both lapsed when we married. Then I returned and he did not. It’s been a definite strain at times.
 
Regardless of what happens, would you mind praying for her at least? From what I learned from her in our conversations, she might be what we would call a lost soul. 😦
 
I wanted to revive this thread because there’s something I didn’t think to ask when I first posted this. For those posters on here who have dated a non-Catholic, and later ended up marrying them and they converted before the wedding, how did it happen? When did it first come up in conversation? Did you ask them? Or did they ask you? Or did it come up on its own at some point?
 
I don’t know. To me date who you want and experience life. Then again I don’t date much. Really if you love someone deeply faith shouldn’t be an issue.
 
NM505StKate said:
I don’t know. To me date who you want and experience life. Then again I don’t date much. Really if you love someone deeply faith shouldn’t be an issue.
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I don’t agree with this in that the issues of chastity, child-rearing in the faith, and birth control require two strong commitments. How commited to these things are you? And is she willing to just go along with this?

I had to refuse a wonderful man who had rejected Catholicism before he met me. We connected on a deep level in so many different ways, but I wanted a father for my children who would have that tender heart for Christ like my dad did. My dad was not afraid to be vulnerable in sharing his intimacy with Jesus and Mary. All of us brothers and sisters have never strayed from the faith because of that, I believe. This is a long-term decision that will be yours and your children’s legacy.

Oh. I’m just realizing this was posted months ago!! Ack, this dad-burned new-fangled site!
 
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I was never attracted to a non-Christian in any big way. But I was also never really attracted to a non-Catholic either. I remember from a very young age getting it in my head that I would not marry anyone who wasn’t a practicing Catholic, committed to the faith. I did that in the end. But I have to agree with Bonnie. Being married to a Catholic, who shares your views on all the important issues can be hard enough, why make that harder by marrying someone who isn’t Catholic?
Dating is supposed to be preparation for marriage, so unless you’re prepared to marry a non-Catholic then I’d rule them out for dating.
 
Daisy said:
This is a long-term decision that will be yours and your children’s legacy.
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:arrow_up:This. If you choose to date and marry a non-Christian and subsequently have children, you need to consider the fact that this is the person that will partially or solely raise your children if you should divorce or die or become incapacitated in some other manner.
 
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