Dating Objectives for Single Catholics

[CountrySinger]

Bwahaha! Laughed out loud at your sarcasm, old chap. Actually, I support the Church’s position, but definitely see how being too “grim” about it can kill the enjoyment or rather “joy”. (It seems like I heard that term somewhere). Flirting is supposed to be fun, if one is being ethical about it! I also don’t get the zeroed-in focus on reproduction. Again, I support the Church’s stance, but last I checked, there were plenty of penniless orphans in Haiti.

Part of it is that dating is like finding a needle in a haystack. And hay is scratchy and annoying. A lot of times, you have to go through so many jerks to find a decent man. In the last couple years, I’ve met: workaholics, alcoholics, anti-Catholics, guys who practically raped me, men who were high on dates, a man who got deported, guy who never call again after meeting once, guys who only wanted to get to know me because of an attractive best friend, Mormons who were looking for a breeder, chubby chasers, drug dealers (now that was an intesting date, found it he was one when he got arrested during the date). I wonder why people are cynical? I found a decent guy, and you will have to pry him out of my cold dead hands. Unless he turns out to be a criminal as well. Now instead of worrying about that, I get to cook for him. We are having breakfast for dinner. Aw.

 

[dakotagirl]

Part of it is that dating is like finding a needle in a haystack. And hay is scratchy and annoying. A lot of times, you have to go through so many jerks to find a decent man. In the last couple years, I’ve met: workaholics, alcoholics, anti-Catholics, guys who practically raped me, men who were high on dates, a man who got deported, guy who never call again after meeting once, guys who only wanted to get to know me because of an attractive best friend, Mormons who were looking for a breeder, chubby chasers, drug dealers **(now that was an intesting date, found it he was one when he got arrested during the date). ** I wonder why people are cynical? I found a decent guy, and you will have to pry him out of my cold dead hands. Unless he turns out to be a criminal as well. Now instead of worrying about that, I get to cook for him. We are having breakfast for dinner. Aw.

Aw, indeed! I’m so happy you’re happy! Re: what you said above - . Especially the bolded part. You must have an exciting life!

 

[chevalier]

Yeah, that’s what happened the last time. A couple of friends and I were at a bar and I had left our table to get another drink at the bar. While I was waiting there, a girl there asked me how tall I am. Because I am so tall (6’6") it’s not an uncommon question I get by people of all ages and both genders. I answered and she asked me something else about it (I don’t remember what now), I made a couple of jokes about how being tall isn’t as cool as people think and she laughed. I got my drink and went back to my table. My friends wanted to know if I got her number and I just said no. They told me she was flirting with me and I had no idea. I thought she just wanted to know how tall I was.

I’m afraid the correct answer is, “I don’t know.” That is, without seeing the body language, hearing the voice, the exact choice of words etc. If she mirrored your gesture, didn’t keep much distance physically and used a tone of voice that sounded as if she wanted to please your or make a favourable impression, then she was probably flirting. If not, she was probably just asking about your height. A man wouldn’t normally bother to do that, a woman might.

Even so, if a woman addresses you first without having any apparent business doing so, then you’re well within your right in concluding that asking her number at least wouldn’t cause offence.

 

[dakotagirl]

As a rule, if it somehow hints at your being an awesome specimen or at your and your interlocutor’s supposedly ever, just hypothetically, entering into a just hypothetical romantic relationship, then that’s flirting. Doesn’t apply to disinterested candid hypotheticals, e.g. by female relatives.

Respectfully, my nonsense-ometer is beeping wildly. I have a friend whose dear friend of the opposite sex teases her about getting married all the time. She thinks it’s funny. He’s a seminarian. I could go on and on, but whatever floats your boat. I’ll just say this: I think if there were hard and fast rules to flirting, it would be less of a challenge, and somewhat b00ring. That’s probably why there aren’t. Also, it’s news to me that saying one is an awesome specimen is flirting. If a male friend of mine says to me something to that effect, I thank him kindly for the compliment.

 

[CountrySinger]

Aw, indeed! I’m so happy you’re happy! Re: what you said above - . Especially the bolded part. You must have an exciting life!

It was pretty funny actually, once I knew I wasn’t getting arrested, I threw him right under the bus. “Officier, I don’t know him, he just wanted to have dinner and sleep with me.” Salem, Oregon doesn’t have good men. So I had to move.

And my life is so not exciting, I’m making french toast and watching “Dexter” with two cats.

 

[dakotagirl]

It was pretty funny actually, once I knew I wasn’t getting arrested, I threw him right under the bus. “Officier, I don’t know him, he just wanted to have dinner and sleep with me.” Salem, Oregon doesn’t have good men. So I had to move.

Lol!!

 

[CountrySinger]

Lol!!

Nice to know that I stand up for people. I will throw people under a bus if they hurt me.

 

[chevalier]

Respectfully, my nonsense-ometer is beeping wildly. I have a friend whose dear friend of the opposite sex teases her about getting married all the time. She thinks it’s funny. He’s a seminarian. I could go on and on, but whatever floats your boat. I’ll just say this: I think if there were hard and fast rules to flirting, it would be less of a challenge, and somewhat b00ring. That’s probably why there aren’t. Also, it’s news to me that saying one is an awesome specimen is flirting. If a male friend of mine says to me something to that effect, I thank him kindly for the compliment.

Speaking of nonsensometers, don’t argue a rule from an exception. “As a rule” means there are exceptions and seminarians teasing their friends are an exception, much like relatives, who are presumably just joking. As for the rest, ekhm… What part of “awesome specimen” is not flirting?

 

[dakotagirl]

Oh my Gawsh! Relatives “presumably” just joking? What does that mean? Oh I looove a good argument about semantics, but I really have to go do some chores.

 

[dakotagirl]

Whew- nothing like chores to interrupt a good fight. Basically, I just wanted to say re: “awesome specimen” that THE most conservative and holy priests whom I have interrogated have never been this scrupulous on sexual ethics. I think you need to rethink your position.
Also, I thought I just had bad luck by continually running into people with this attitude, but I’m starting to think they are more prevalent than that. It’s also a striking coincidence that I have permanently lost quite a few friends who insisted on believing similar nonsense. Anyway, it was nice knowing you. Have a good life.

 

[dakotagirl]

Nice to know that I stand up for people. I will throw people under a bus if they hurt me.

High five/ chest bump to CountrySinger. I get one awesome visual when you say “throw under a bus”. Is that a colloquialism that I am not aware of?

 

[CountrySinger]

High five/ chest bump to CountrySinger. I get one awesome visual when you say “throw under a bus”. Is that a colloquialism that I am not aware of?

It is a saying that one of my friends uses. It is basically letting someone else take the fall, or ruining someone’s reputation.
Sorry if I don’t make sense, I’m full of breakfast food and just plain giddiness.

 

[chevalier]

Whew- nothing like chores to interrupt a good fight. Basically, I just wanted to say re: “awesome specimen” that THE most conservative and holy priests whom I have interrogated have never been this scrupulous on sexual ethics. I think you need to rethink your position.

I think you’re making a mental connection that flirting = verbal sex and or something like that. And at any rate, the only thing I’ve said is, “this and that behaviour is flirting,” now you’re reading a whole lot of sexual scrupulosity into it basing on how you understand flirting internally.

Also, I thought I just had bad luck by continually running into people with this attitude, but I’m starting to think they are more prevalent than that. It’s also a striking coincidence that I have permanently lost quite a few friends who insisted on believing similar nonsense. Anyway, it was nice knowing you. Have a good life.

The “nonsense” is exclusively in what you read into it between the verses or what you refuse to read despite its clearly been there. “Awesome specimen” is patently flirtacious language that I chose for a reason. It was demonstrative of a general rule. Now you’re seeking to debunk the example and the rule by arguing from unrelated premises (moral culpability of a priest saying a compliment to a woman) and by arguing a rule from an exception (priests can’t marry, ergo when they’re complimenting a woman, they obviously aren’t flirting). Your logic is kindly requested to report for maintenance before it enters combat.

 

[LilyElain]

I don’t recognize flirting. People always have to tell me after the fact that someone was flirting with me.

Me either~ I will walk away, and my friends will say he was flirting…I never believe them, because I did not get it!

 

[CountrySinger]

Me either~ I will walk away, and my friends will say he was flirting…I never believe them, because I did not get it!

I never believe that a guy could be flirting with ME (they must be desperate). I always look and see if there is a hot woman behind me, and I happen to be blocking them. So I don’t get it when someone is flirting with me as well. Low self esteem caused by countless guys rejecting me. My boyfriend doesn’t understand it.

 

[dakotagirl]

It is a saying that one of my friends uses. It is basically letting someone else take the fall, or ruining someone’s reputation.
Sorry if I don’t make sense, I’m full of breakfast food and just plain giddiness.

Nah, you didn’t lose me. I especially loved the comment “Officer, I don’t know him…” I’ll take a giddy CountrySinger any day.

 

[dakotagirl]

Lily and Country: I kinda feel you re: men flirting. The one time I abandoned my policy of not assuming someone was flirting, he wasn’t, got really embarrassed, and never let me forget about it. (The punk! )

 

[CountrySinger]

Nah, you didn’t lose me. I especially loved the comment “Officer, I don’t know him…” I’ll take a giddy CountrySinger any day.

I was at the police station, and I wanted to go home. But that wasn’t the worst date ever, the polic officers were cute. The worst in my opinion, is when you go out with a guy, and then the guy disappears afterwards. At least the drug dealer had an excuse (he’s doing 5 to 10).

 

[LilyElain]

Lily and Country: I kinda feel you re: men flirting. The one time I abandoned my policy of not assuming someone was flirting, he wasn’t, got really embarrassed, and never let me forget about it. (The punk! )

oh how embarrassing…
I just assume they are being “nice”…my sister is always making fun of how oblivious I am around men…

 

[LilyElain]

I also really enjoy talking to people… although I am an introvert, people fascinate me…and so I just assume we were having a friendly conversation, and walking away my sister will smack me and say “he was totally hitting on you, and you walked away!” Oops…I thought the conversation was done…