Dating question

[Mperea75]

+JMJ

Ok question for everyone. What would you do if you had a daughter/son who started dating someone again they have dated in the past twice but it didn’t work out for one reason or another.
Now they are back together.
What would you do?

Remeber you been there through the hurt of both of them through the break up both times, the hurt both times they parted ways.

 

[1ke]

I think it would depend upon their ages, whether or not they live at home, and whether or not they ask for my (name removed by moderator)ut.

 

[yessisan]

I ditto 1ke’s response!

 

[cathgal]

Not much unless the son/daughter is willing to try to dispose bad companies. If they’re willing, the family has to help them to forget or be distracted by involving them with family activities, outings, or meet new people. They have to be distracted enough with other things in order for them to forget bad companies.

Sometimes they’re back to the same person because there is no better distraction, like meeting someone new or someone interesting. If they’re bored and lonely, they’re likely will seek ‘old’ company.

 

[rayne89]

How old is the daughter/son?
My husband and I dated in highschool. We broke up and got back together I think 4 or 5 times before me married. It’s been almost 17 years of marriage now so it worked out pretty good.

 

[rinnie]

i went thru the same thing. It drove me crazy. If you tell them not to date they will do it behind your back. I finally asked my daughter one day do you really love him she said no. I said then why do you keep going back its not going to work. But do what you want she was 22 at the time. finally she broke up for good and now met someone she really loves. sometimes it that they dont want to be alone and its easier then being alone. thier friends all have someone. Ask her that first if she really loves him. if she does you will just have to see her get hurt. thats all you can do. and i know its worse for you. But on the other hand maybe theres a reason they keep ending up back together. and when u are a mother there is no easy answer.

 

[CarrieH]

If it seems that they are only together by “default,” I’d try to get them involved in activities where they might meet someone new and more appropriate for them. But if they are young adults and on their own, I’d stay out of it unless they asked for my advice. In either case, I would pray for them and be ready to offer my condolences when they get their heart broken yet again. The tiger rarely changes his stripes, you know.

 

[Mperea75]

Ok for the conversation sake let us say the people who are in question are both in thier upper 20’s lower 30’s. They also have a very close family relationship.

 

[yessisan]

Ok for the conversation sake let us say the people who are in question are both in thier upper 20’s lower 30’s. They also have a very close family relationship.

Well, they are adults and you cannot do anything about it, exept tell him/her that you love him/her and want him/her to be happy. I dated a guy for 5 yrs, we broke up on and off and all my mom would say to me is that she wanted me to be happy. You can probably sit down with him/her and ask him/her if he/she loves this girl/guy. But since he/she is an adult, you cannot do anything but be loving and hope it’s for the best. Pray for his/her happiness.

 

[rinnie]

Well, they are adults and you cannot do anything about it, exept tell him/her that you love him/her and want him/her to be happy. I dated a guy for 5 yrs, we broke up on and off and all my mom would say to me is that she wanted me to be happy. You can probably sit down with him/her and ask him/her if he/she loves this girl/guy. But since he/she is an adult, you cannot do anything but be loving and hope it’s for the best. Pray for his/her happiness.

i totally agree with this last person. trust me i am in a situation right now with my daughter she is 24. Now just 2 weeks ago she has made a decision i dont agree with. Now we just talked 4 days ago. And thanks to alot of people on this site game me some good advice. some i agree with some i don t. but i thought about all of it. Now i gave her a choice. Now she didnt make the choice i wanted her to make. But i had to choose her way or Gods way. I have to go GOds way…now i told her she has to make her decision now its out of my hands. I pray in the next week she is going to choose GOds way. But if she doesnt there is nothing i can do. I do have enough faith in this wonderful Catholic religion that she knows the right way. but see im out of it. and it hurts trust me i know. But i will get my answer when GOd says not on my time. (i would much rather prefer my time). now as a parent you have to have enough faith in your religion and faith in God to let him finish this. Trust me you have to practice what you preach. and as sure GOd is in Heaven i am doing it now. So like me you have got to leave it up to her or him and trust GOD to work it all out now. your hands are tied.