Dating Suggestions?

[sjangelini]

This is getting ridiculous. There are plenty of men in their 30s who are looking for women of their own age. One of my friends is even thinking about marrying a woman who is several years older.

Marriages where the man is significantly younger than the woman are rare, and I think there are some good reasons for this (the chance for unhealthy relationship dynamics that don’t occur in the opposite scenario). However, it’s a gross exaggeration to say that a 31-year-old woman will no longer be able to find a worthwhile partner.

I always find it strange when members of this forum urge other members to ignore internet advice immediately after giving it…

Thank you Ack.

 

[JoeofCupertino]

I always make this point and I know it isnt very popular but the reason you are single is because you arent attractive to good Catholic men. I use attractive in a broad sense. Physically you may indeed be attractive yet there can easily be a quality that you have that turns off the opposite sex.

I say this because many people do find success and find people that are attracted to them. In your case, it may just be that you havent found someone that has been attracted enough to you.

However, analyze your failures and how you present yourself to others. It could easily be that something you say in conversations or on your profile turns men off. It could be that your expectations are too high. There are many possible issues.

It is popular to blame the lack of options but as dating sites go plenty of men and women remain there for years without finding anyone. The issue is everyone wants perfection. Those that realize nobody is perfect find someone faster than those looking for their prince or princess.

 

[sjangelini]

I am the OP and I have something to say to everyone, especially to women who may have read Bartolome Casas’s post.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, do not take what he says seriously about women in their 30’s. I am not hurt by what he said because I find his understanding of women (and men) laughable and sad.

But I realize (as he should have realized) that it was an extremely uncharitable, sexist and hurtful thing to say and could potentially make many women in my situation feel very bad. When I started this thread, the last thing I wanted was for it to add to anyone’s suffering.

I want you to know that what he said was untrue, both statistically (check out the average age of marriage in major cities in the last census) and more importantly, in the sense that it does NOT reflect how God sees you. And believe me, He does see you.

There are many messages to the contrary, in the Catholic community, in the culture, etc. These come from a dark place. Everyone moment of life is a gift that, with God’s help, moves us closer to Him. My life has not been perfect, but I would not give back a single day, for then I would not be myself.

We should all pray for each other, that God guides us to the people we are meant to be with and above all, to be the people we are meant to be.

 

[sjangelini]

(I almost assumed that Paddy was definitely a man’s name there) -

Good point!

 

[Paddy1989]

I took a look on Catholic Match for you, and there weren’t that many girls in Ireland signed up in your age group (I saw that you were 22, so I put 18 - 24). 10 total - 5 in Dublin, 1 in Cork, 2 in Killarney, and 1 in Tralee. I’m not sure if that is enough to make it worth getting CM.

Some of them were pretty cute though!

Thank you! for taking the time to do such a thing, was there none in Belfast, Derry etc in the North of Ireland. Can’t believe that there are so few Irish Catholic ladies on one of the world’s largest Catholic dating services

 

[Paddy1989]

Do you go to Youth 2000, Pro-Life events, Legion of Mary, Pure in Heart, etc Paddy? I am from Alba, not Erin, but have been in Dublin for a while I always found that there were plenty of young women - and men (I almost assumed that Paddy was definitely a man’s name there) - at these types of things. The Pro-Life Rally in Dublin last summer was really well attended with young people, and the next one this summer is in Belfast. Youth 2000 events in the North are incredible as well, and also in the South. Éirinn go Brách!

To be honest i am not a big fan of the Youth thing’s as they seem more like Pentecostal services’s with the whole Christian rock band music, hand’s up in the air invoking an emotional buzz. I don’t see much intelligence or much Catholicism in it. I love the richness of Catholicism in Philosophy, literature, music, art etc which is think these sort of thing’s abandon. As a female poster said here before which was very true, it seem’s only women generally go to event’s in the hope of meeting a Catholic spouse even if they have no interest in the event. If the man has no interest in the event it won’t matter how many beautiful single women there are he won’t turn up. Why? Because you end up going to these event’s with your head full of thought’s such as “will i meet the right person here” etc and therefore will be very disappointed if such a thing turn’s out to be merely the event that it was supposed to be and not the “Single Catholic arena” you hoped it would be

 

[Paddy1989]

KevJohn;8927297:

(I almost assumed that Paddy was definitely a man’s name there) -

Good point!

Yes i am male, what made some think i was a female poster LOL

 

[Norseman82]

Hold the phone -

You dated Ester Blomenbergenrosensteinenthal from the Hebrew Hammer, one of the greatest films of all time?! What a mensch.

I didn’t know she was Catholic.

When I saw “Ester” I thought of Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son! (don’t hit me!).

Seriously, check out a National Catholic Singles conference if it is convenient for you (they just held one in Denver recently, but don’t know if they will be having any more soon).

nationalcatholicsingles.com/