Dating

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holdencaulfield

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This is a hypothetical question. Assuming a couple is within the boundaries of abstinence until marriage, how far is too far in dating. When does it become a sin.
 
holdencaulfield said:
This is a hypothetical question. Assuming a couple is within the boundaries of abstinence until marriage, how far is too far in dating. When does it become a sin.
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I think approaching it from the perspective of how far is too far is the wrong way to look at it. It just seems too much like saying how close to the edge of this cliff can I carry my girlfriend before we fall off.

If you have to ask the question “is this too far” then chances are it is too far. That’s the way I try to look at it anyway.

James
 
James0235 said:
I think approaching it from the perspective of how far is too far is the wrong way to look at it. It just seems too much like saying how close to the edge of this cliff can I carry my girlfriend before we fall off.
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LOL, nice. 🙂
If you have to ask the question “is this too far” then chances are it is too far. That’s the way I try to look at it anyway.
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Well I know, I agree. It was mostly a hypothetical question. However I mean I have heard some people make the argument that kissing is too far. :cool: You know. I just wanted to get someones opinion on this.
 
Anything that causes arrousal is going too far.

For the best answer I’ve heard, check out Jason Everet’s talk Romance Without Regret at
pureloveclub.com
 
idrum677 said:
Anything that causes arrousal is going too far.
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And that’s a very fine line sometimes, isn’t it? :o For some, a “hot kiss” is all it takes, but for others…um…more in necessary.

It’s all too easy to say, well, let’s go this far and no farther, then we’ll stop. Suuuuurrrrrreeeee. 😃 A good standard is pretty much to avoid anything below the waist. 😉
 
no activity that belongs to marriage is permitted before marriage. That includes any sexual activity whatever. when a goodnight kiss becomes foreplay, that is the time to stop and go back to handholding.
 
Newbie2 said:
And that’s a very fine line sometimes, isn’t it? :o For some, a “hot kiss” is all it takes, but for others…um…more in necessary.

It’s all too easy to say, well, let’s go this far and no farther, then we’ll stop. Suuuuurrrrrreeeee. 😃 A good standard is pretty much to avoid anything below the waist. 😉
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I think that the answer varies according to the individual. Some people are more easily aroused then others. But I think that the individual has to be honest with themselves first. When I was younger I had girl friends say that they could cuddle with their boyfriends without any danger of having sex. Many of the same young women seemed perplexed that they somehow magically ended up having sex with the same boy at some point in their relationship.😊
 
Do you have to Stop your “dating activity” when someone walks into the room? If so, then you are going to far.

True enough, that what will arouse one may have no affect on another, but what ever activity is taking place in the context of a date, make sure this activity can take place (as an example) at your parish youth ministry meeting. Better to be to restrictive in your activity then to take a chance with temptation.👍
 
holdencaulfield said:
This is a hypothetical question. Assuming a couple is within the boundaries of abstinence until marriage, how far is too far in dating. When does it become a sin.
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I think this has less to do with religion and more to do with culture. What is normal for one culture will appear to be sexual or “too much” to another culture.

I remember being in a homeschool group and getting punished or lectured by group leaders when I hugged my now husband. Their cultural perspective held even hugging as a behavior only for family, while my culture held that hugging and even light kissing (cheek and lips) was normal for everyone from family to acquaintances. The issue of us being unchaste or sexual was non-existant (at least in our minds). We weren’t even dating at the time. :rolleyes:

In dating, we decided what was chaste by saying anything we felt uncomfortable doing in front of our little siblings was off-limits. This allowed for only light kissing and hugging.

I have heard others mention that visualizing respected people during a moment of temptation can help guide you. For example, how far would you go on the couch if your mother was sitting on it? Or if Jesus was standing in front of you? Or if a news camera was recording?
 
holdencaulfield said:
So in you alls opinion is kissing a sin?
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I don’t know that anyone is saying all kissing is a sin. It probably depends on the kissing. Furthermore, a good bit of it may be an unnecessary temptation to sin as opposed to sin itself.
 
It used to be standard Christian practice to kiss everyone (regardless of gender) on the lips as a greeting, so it’s clearly not sinful in itself. French kissing is open to debate whether it’s venially sinful or not, I think it depends on context, it may be mortally so in some situations
 
It is too far if a person looks at the other person as a means to some end. It does not matter what the end is, sex, security, safety, happiness. If a person uses another person in this way, then the relationship is irreparably flawed.

See Love and Responsibility by (former) Archbishop Karol Wojija, later Pope John Paul II.
 
JMBNH said:
It used to be standard Christian practice to kiss everyone (regardless of gender) on the lips as a greeting, so it’s clearly not sinful in itself. French kissing is open to debate whether it’s venially sinful or not, I think it depends on context, it may be mortally so in some situations
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I think it is sinful because it’s French. jk jk 😛
 
My favorite actor(Eduardo Verastegui) says he won’t kiss a woman until he’s married. I guess he thinks it is.
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Same with me. I have a beautiful girlfriend who I already know will be my wife, and I’ve promised her (on the lips) I won’t kiss her until we’re married.
 
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