Dating

[SacredHeartFan]

I am 100% sure of my vocation to the Holy Priesthood. I know that all of you are going to say that I still need time to discern but there is a long story behind it and if your would like to hear p.m. me. Anyway my question is if I am this sure of my vocation should I date? I have dated in the past but then this amazing life-changing event happened. Thanks for your answers in advanced.

 

[CatholicCid]

As they say, you aren’t ordained until your head hits the marble.

I recall stories of now-Priests who dated even while in Seminary. Do you need too? I don’t think so. However, I think it can also be seen as a part of discernment. I would make sure that anyone you do date does know right off that you are heavily considering a call to the Priesthood.

I would also discuss this with your Spiritual Director, as he would know your situation better then us all combined.

Just my :twocents:

 

[Wings]

Second the above poster…talk to your spiritual director for the most informed opinion.

My personal opinion is that dating when you know (as much as one can know, this life is tough like that sometimes) that you want to be a priest (which seems to be the case), then you have no business dating. What is the end purpose of dating if you’re called to become a priest? What effect does that have on the woman you would be dating if you broke her heart? Is dating while discerning giving either discerning or dating a fair chance? I don’t believe so…I know it would confuse me quite a lot.

God bless you in finding your vocation.

 

[danjiri]

If you do date, please make it very clear to the woman that you are already in love – with the church.

I have recently been the girlfriend of someone who had checked out of the relationship to discern and didn’t have the guts to tell me. Fairly agonizing. One sentence (“Honey, I want to go to seminary”), nine months earlier, would have saved me all sorts of heartache, pain, energy, living-a-lie.

 

[amz]

My ex ended our 3 year relationship a few months ago because he is discerning a calling…or claiming he is at any rate. This has really traumatised me. Please leave girls out of the equation unless you let them know about your feelings in advance. (for more info I have a thread about him in this forum).

 

[Formosus]

As they say, you aren’t ordained until your head hits the marble.

I recall stories of now-Priests who **dated even while in Seminary. **
Just my :twocents:

Woah… unless this was like a high school minor seminary then I have to say that is not really acceptable. Dating as a college seminarian or a major seminarian in most seminaries would get you kicked outta seminary (or at least it should).

 

[SenorSalsa]

Speaking as another possible future priest, I would say this

Have I dated, yes.

Would I reccomend it. maybe.

It depends on what you mean by dating. If you are looking to get romantically involved with someone, than no. There is no end game, and trust me, your heart and mind will not be in it.

If you are simply looking to have the close companionship of a female, where you can go out and hang out together, than I say why not. Some of my best friends are girls. I dont necesarrily call it dating, but I have and will continue to go do things with them.

 

[Belgarion]

I’m going to just make a little analogy here…

Let’s say the girl I like is the Church…and even though I’m not “dating” her…I WANT to “date” her and even “marry” her someday.

Now, just because I CAN date other girls now…doesn’t mean I will. I want to remain devoted to her, since I’m sure she is everything I want. Other girls can be a distraction and may end up ruining what I wanted in the first place.

Now, the situation above is true for me, the only difference is that I’m talking about a girl for my case, the Church for yours.

Does it make sense?

I hope it does.

 

[danjiri]

Dating is not the same as doing things with your friends. I hang out with my friends but don’t kiss or feel romantic thoughts for them.

The analogy of the church being like a girl is exactly it. In this case, my boyfriend was cheating on and lying to me: He knew in his heart he wanted to be with another. I thought I was “competing” (in a joking, fun sense) with Beyonce. Instead it was God, and there was no way I was going to win.

There are very real emotions for all involved in these cases. You could spare everyone all sorts of heartache.

 

[amz]

Going to the cinema and hanging out with girls is completely different to dating girls. Dating would suggest kissing, holding hands and maybe some other stuff depending. I think it is healthy for priests to have female friends to hang out with. However, dating is a completely different ball game!!

 

[LtPaint]

Going to the cinema and hanging out with girls is completely different to dating girls. Dating would suggest kissing, holding hands and maybe some other stuff depending. I think it is healthy for priests to have female friends to hang out with. However, dating is a completely different ball game!!

That’s essentially what my spirtual director told me when I brought dating up to him 6 or 7 months ago.

Don’t date if your discerning and especially if your sure you are going to be a priest. It’s extremely pointless.

 

[CatholicCid]

Woah… unless this was like a high school minor seminary then I have to say that is not really acceptable. Dating as a college seminarian or a major seminarian in most seminaries would get you kicked outta seminary (or at least it should).

Would it? Sorry, I must admit I’m currently unfamiliar with Seminary procedures. Perhaps I misremembered the story and the Priest had dated before entering Seminary.
As it’s a memory of a story, take it with a grain of salt.

 

[kib]

If you truly are 100% sure, there wouldn’t be any point. Female friends would fulfill that relationship. If there is a bit of doubt, you owe it to yourself to date and continue discerning. Your spiritual director may disagree, mine does not.

I am in a two year long relationship with a woman I am completely committed to, but because I have thoughts of a religious vocation, I will be discerning it; so I can be as positive as possible of my choice.

I think you owe it to God to be as certain as you can. It would be horrible to get married only to think 10 years from now that you should have been a priest (which is a possible situation in my case). Similarly, if you become a priest it would be awful to question your vocation as a priest and believe you should have married and had a family.

Both are wonderful vocations and are equally important. How else would we have priests without strong catholic families?

 

[Patrick60]

If you are pursuing the idea of a vocation, make sure you tell the young lady ahead of time that you are pursuing a celibate lifestyle. This will give her a good reason to tell you “no,” when you ask her out on a date. It will prevent her from developing any affection for you, and save her from a broken heart on the day you leave her behind forever to enter the seminary.

On the other hand, if you can’t put the idea of romantic involvement with a woman completely to death, sacrificing that part of yourself in a vow of celibacy for love of God and His bride, then do yourself and the church a favor and forget the idea of a celibate vocation, and go out, date, and get married.

Ultimately, if you’re going to put your hand to the plow, make up your mind you’re not going to look back. Either choice, marriage, or religious life, is good and holy. Make a choice you know you can stick with.

 

[Rising_Suns]

Dear SacredHeartFan,
As the others have said, you should not date. Doing so would be dishonest to the person you are dating (remember, dating is oriented towards marriage). It is to ask a woman for her heart, only to turn around and leave her. No woman should be treated like this.

I may be mistaken, but it seems to me that if you are asking this question, then it is likely that you should wait before making a full commitment in either direction. Ask the Blessed Virgin to take you by the hand, and guide you towards Her Son’s holy will.

My prayers are with you in your discernment.

Blessing.

 

[puzzleannie]

I e. Anyway my question is if I am this sure of my vocation should I date? I

if you are sure of your vocation the question of dating should not even arise. that is a general knee-jerk response. all such concerns should be discussed with your spiritual director, not with strangers who don’t know you