Dating

[surfgirlusa_200]

For anyone who has ever been dating someone long term:

How did you keep your passions in check and remain chaste?

 

[GodIsGracious]

For anyone who has ever been dating someone long term:

How did you keep your passions in check and remain chaste?

You realize that there is more to life than sex.

 

[sheilathebard]

Prayer.

Fasting, if you are up to it.

Good reading.

Avoiding negative sexual influences, like unchaste conversations, trashy magazines, the wrong stuff on the internet – just don’t let that stuff into your mind.

Remembering how much you respect the other person and want them to get to heaven.

Frequent confession if you fall, even if it’s only a little.

If you ain’t got it, don’t touch it. Heard this line on here somewhere, and like it.

Don’t spend a majority of your time together alone. Instead go for walks, play games, go out to lunch, etc.

Make sure the other person is on board about chastity.

Talk to your parents / a trusted friend / a priest and see if they have any advice. They’ll also be looking out for you.

Pray together. If you pray together, it makes it so much harder to want to sin together. You get in the habit of trying to bring each other closer to God, so you won’t want to ruin it.

And, from time to time, there’s nothing for it but to call a date to an early end, to break off a daydream by jumping in the shower, to say, “Sweetie, I love you, but you are tempting me right now.” Don’t be embarrassed of the fact that you are weak. You are weak, we all are, so just work with that weakness and give yourself all the help you can.

 

[surfgirlusa_200]

Thanks. I’m not sexually active, but I know that there’s more to chastity than just not having sex/masturbating. It’s the other things, like passionate kissing, that seem more difficult to resist.

 

[forever_always]

I have been dating my fiance for over a year and a half… it gets very hard sometimes not to do more, I know where you’re coming from.

For us, we pray together… he recently went through RCIA and has such a strong faith… he loves to pray with me, and I love it too.

Also, we try and make dates “romantic” not “sexual.” It is hard to describe… but we will go out to dinner, instead of getting fast food and relaxing together afterwards… being alone with nothing to do often starts becomming sexual! We also spend alot of time with our families…

It is difficult! But well worth the wait, I’m sure!

 

[chevalier]

For anyone who has ever been dating someone long term:

How did you keep your passions in check and remain chaste?

On the psychological level, by realising that your passions do not compel you. Wanting something very much is not a good enough excuse for stealing it and rushing before marriage is basically that.

On the more important level, pray. There’s no overcoming passions without praying. With Him, there’s nothing we couldn’t do, if He willed it. Without Him, there’s nothing we could do.

By the way, having something to do, instead of being bored while sitting together, helps. Besides, you don’t want a relationship with someone who’s sexually attractive to you but doesn’t appeal to you otherwise. If you aren’t interested in conversations, spending time together, talking and doing productive things, it’s probably not worth it. Yes, this means it’s closer to friendship than to the prevailing shape of a romantic relationship. Companionship is undervalued, in my view. While you can’t expect a single person to fulfill a thousand roles in your life, you would do well to make sure that the one you marry can catch your interest with something more than his or her body or other immediately sexually attractive characteristics.

Realise also that you’re looking for marriage. Look from that point of view. Often the desire to have a fun boyfriend or girlfriend blinds people’s perception of what they really look for in a marriage partner.

 

[surfgirlusa_200]

On the psychological level, by realising that your passions do not compel you. Wanting something very much is not a good enough excuse for stealing it and rushing before marriage is basically that.

On the more important level, pray. There’s no overcoming passions without praying. With Him, there’s nothing we couldn’t do, if He willed it. Without Him, there’s nothing we could do.

By the way, having something to do, instead of being bored while sitting together, helps. Besides, you don’t want a relationship with someone who’s sexually attractive to you but doesn’t appeal to you otherwise. If you aren’t interested in conversations, spending time together, talking and doing productive things, it’s probably not worth it. Yes, this means it’s closer to friendship than to the prevailing shape of a romantic relationship. Companionship is undervalued, in my view. While you can’t expect a single person to fulfill a thousand roles in your life, you would do well to make sure that the one you marry can catch your interest with something more than his or her body or other immediately sexually attractive characteristics.

Realise also that you’re looking for marriage. Look from that point of view. Often the desire to have a fun boyfriend or girlfriend blinds people’s perception of what they really look for in a marriage partner.

We do a ton of other things together, including having a lot of conversations, going out for other activities, etc. There just happens to be a bit of alone time after all of those other things, as well.

I am looking for marriage, and he and I plan on getting married in a few years (we’ll likely get engaged once I know where I’m going for graduate school and finish undergrad, and when he has a solid job). That also makes it more difficult, because we’ve been in a relationship for quite a while, and will be together for a time before getting married.

 

[chevalier]

Well, I think you must somehow get yourself occupied. It’s important to be able to share moments of silence and just enjoy each other’s presence, but sexual temptations are often helped by simply having nothing better to do.

 

[Rascalking]

Keep busy! Do things that are public and out in the open.

Don’t feel guilty for kissing and cuddiling. There’s nothing wrong with that stuff.

Talk openly with your partner as well. Communication really is vital.

Think about your wedding night-it’s going to be magical!

 

[Emily2009]

My boyfriend likes to tell me that he’s careful to not take something that’s not yet his. He’s (and so am I) looking forward to the night he can hold me all the way through, until then, we’ll just wait. And enjoy each other’s company…

Pray, talk…just completely discuss what’s okay and what’s not okay. Know where your boundary is, and if someday, things are harder than others, it is okay to tell your boyfriend that you must stop…play each day as it comes.