Thanks,
Obviously I’m not talking about anything sexual here.
Here is what I’m thinking about: when people are in highschool or in college surely they’re not ready to have a family yet. But many of them are in boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. I don’t know if a more experienced person would say this is a “serious romance” because I’m at that stage myself
For example: Some time ago I was dating a girl (for a very short time) who was a very good Catholic girl. She was 17, I was 21. We were in love with each other - it wasn’t just friendship - we were spending time together, holding hands, going for walks, kissing each other goodbye, that kind of stuff - but obviously nothing sexual at all. The relationship was exclusive in the sense that obviously either of us expected the other person not to do such things with other people. Surely neither of us was thinking of marriage at that stage, and I think both of us were aware that most probably, sooner or later this relationship will end. I was thinking to myself that this girl matches me so well that if I was like 10 years older I would probably propose to her
and indeed sometimes relationships like this one do evolve into marriages eventually, but let’s be realistic. So we were doing it just because we were enjoying each other’s company and feelings.
I mentioned that it lasted for a very short time, because it’s true that neither of us was ready for this. She was my first girlfriend and I didn’t know how to behave etc. - and what I’ve learnt from this experience is absolutely priceless. So in that sense I think relationships like that help in preparing to becoming a husband one day. They teach you how to love a girl, how not to scare her away, what attitude to have, etc. so I think this is what Puzzleannie means by “learning the art of friendship”. Also apart from that, now I see that she definitely brought me closer to God.
But from what follows from these arguments, this was wrong because it was beyond “friendship”, and we weren’t ready for that.
I guess my view at the issue is this: Relationships like this are necessary to learn a few lessons about how to be a good partner to your future wife. They can also bring a lot of happiness to your life (I stress again that I don’t have anything sexual in mind), and if the people share similar views they can also help each other to grow in faith as it was in my case.
Does one really have to have marriage with this person in mind when entering such a relationship? - and if not are they not allowed to make the relationship exclusive? It really doesn’t convince me. As long as two people enter a relationship for right reasons - not because the world demands young people to be dating, not because of curiosity, or because of lack of acceptance, or because of sexual thoughts or anything… but because they just feel attracted to each other - I really don’t see why they would have to stay just friends until they’re ready financially, and spiritually to become a family.
But obviously I don’t want to create my own theology so please correct me if I’m wrong
