Daughter and The fancy dress shop

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F_Marturana

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My daughter has a dance to go to.

I thought we’d get the dress at a regular department store.

This morning she let me know that all of her friends are getting their dresses at the fancy dress shop ( fittings, alterations sort of like say yes to the dress)

My first reaction was that it’s not necessary to do this. She’s pretty easy to fit. She’s also not a dress girl. She wears jeans, t shirt and hoodie all the time. Sometimes a nice sweater and slacks. Dresses on occasions (Confirmation, her brother’s first communion, grand parents anniversary party)

So it just seems odd to me she wants the dress shop dress.

Moms of daughters, is this something you’d do? I really don’t know what the price range on the dress shop dress would be.

I was thinking the budget would be about 100 dollars. I’ve been able to find very cute dresses at department stores for much less on sale.
 
It depends on what the dress is for.

A specialty store would be for prom. Department stores do have some prom dresses too.

$100 is a lot of money but also not a lot of money when you are talking about a formal dress.

I would suggest you set a budget of what you will contribute, let her put in her own money she’s saved if she wants to spend more than that, and then take her to both the dress shop and the department store and let her shop for whatever she wants within her budget you’ve set together.

Don’t forget shoes, accessories, and whatever undergarment she might need with the dress in your budget.

Set a realistic budget. You can spend a LOT on prom if you don’t. But don’t be a miser if you have room in your budget to make it a little special.

$100 seems a little low to me, but it also depends on where you live and what kind of dresses are popular.
 
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It’s her 8th grade dance. So it isn’t supposed to be a gown, a tea length or knee length dress would be fine.

She had her confirmation recently. She got a very cute dressier dress that fits the description. It was about 80 dollars (it was on sale)

I just didn’t even think dress shop. The dance is just a few hours. There’s no dinner involved, just punch I guess and snacks.

My son attended a few years back, he just had dress slacks, a shirt and tie. No tux rental or jackets were required.

I’m looking at the requirements for the dress, it says, “keep in mind this an 8th grade dance, not a high school prom.”
 
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1ke said:
A specialty store would be for prom. Department stores do have some prom dresses too.
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It’s not supposed to be a prom dress, according to the school. So I guess department store will be fine.

I hope she understands. I’ll reassure that department stores have nice dresses.
 
I didn’t get my 8th grade formal dress, prom, or even wedding dress from a fancy store. I can’t imagine spending that much on 8th grade.

I vaguely remember that some of the 8th graders were planning on taking a limo at my own 8th grade formal, and the school shut it down. It wasn’t meant to be like a prom. There are plenty of nice department store dresses that are appropriate for 13 and 14 year old girls.
 
8th grade dance is a horse of a different color.

That’s a generous budget and IMHO department store is just fine. Or something in her closet already.
 
Sheesh, for an 8th grade dance you don’t need to even drop 100 bucks. Go the Ross or the TJ Max, you can get all kitted out for less than 100 bucks at one of those places.
 
Yeah, I remember in middle school and high school it was a big deal for girls to go get dresses at David’s Bridal. But, they were still off the rack; they didn’t do full fittings. Even back then, I thought paying specialty store markup was crazy, so imagine how I feel about it now that I work. And no, you can’t tell who got their dress where the night of the event. Everyone pretty much looks equally formal and dressed up.

But I get why she hates the idea of a department store dress. It’s a special event and department stores sell hundreds of dresses in all of 6 styles in every size. Someone else will have her dress. Why not take that very generous $100 budget and make a girl’s day of boutique shopping and secondhand dress hunting? It would be fun, and she’s very likely to have a beautiful, unique, all-her-own outfit for a very reasonable price.

And please don’t discount secondhand. Skip Goodwill, but dedicated formal wear resellers can do amazing things with even $50. eBay and Craigslist are good options too since she’s easy to fit.
 
David’s Bridal is super scammy anyway. They sell your info to Mary Kay.
 
BlueEyedLadies said:
And please don’t discount secondhand
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When she was smaller, many of her dresses were secondhand from a good friend who had two daughters slightly older.

I’m a little shocked though. She’s really not a dress girl. I never would have guessed she’d want the fancy store experience.
 
Oh, and the above advice applies to every special event in her life, prom and wedding included - just start looking early enough.

My wedding dress was very formal, with a large skirt, long train, and tons of beadwork. Retail it would have easily been more than $2k, and that’s assuming a low end designer (no clue who made the dress). I paid a whopping $220 and female friends and relatives still ask where I got it when they get engaged.
 
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Can you explain to her that when she is a tiny bit older she can buy clothes that will last longer for her and you are really tight with this prom dress now? Or that the price tag is many times a convention, fashion houses want to make money so the only extra thing you get for the extra price is many times just a tag that is inside the dress and no one will ever see it.
Not a mom here but I used to be a teen too. Doesn’t matter how she dresses every day. She wants to look good now.
And please don’t use the word “cute” for dresses to a 14 yr old. Say “beautiful” or “fashionable” or “makes you look beautiful”. Cute is for kids and that is the last thing she wants to be now.
She wants to look as fashionable not good. And as smart as her friends.
 
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What about vintage? She can find a vintage dress that is unique - no worry that Emily and Madison or Hannah B or Hanna R will be wearing the same dress (or even worse, will say they “tried on that dress at hated it”.)
 
That’s a good idea. And funny that her best friend is named Madison. 😀
 
Vintage is great and always cool. And you can also try fixing a budget with her (around the maxim amount you would ever spend on a dress for a 14 yr old who will only wear it once… or a couple of times). And tell her the difference in price between the actual dress and the maximum budget, you will spend with her on something else she likes not just one dress she needs for a one time party.
 
It was very popular, I figured I’d hit with one of those names 🙂
 
Even fun, tell us her size and we can play personal online shopper 🙂
 
Peer pressure lives. All her friends are doing it so she wants to. No matter what you decide make it something special for the two of you.
 
She’s a size 0. Or 2. Size 2 was too large for Confirmation.

She just naturally thin.

That’s her pet peeve. People ask her if she’s anorexic. 😳 She’s not. She’s always been on the lower percentile for weight.

Her pediatrician says she’s fine.
 
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